Dear Ayi，

Ive just took the gaokao and need to choose a major for university. My goal is to make a lot of money. What do you recommend？

Ambitious Andy

Going to university is 浪費時間 （l3ngf-i sh！ji`n， a waste of time）！ I have several childhood friends who became 百萬富翁 （b2iw3n f&w8ng;， millionaires） without wasting a single day in college. They chose to be 社會人 （sh-hu#r9n， “society persons”）， and learned some of the most valuable lessons among 江湖 （ji`ngh%， “rivers and lakes”）， like take shortcuts， cut corners， and get ahead. Granted—quite a few of them are in jail now， but hey， 出來混，遲早要還的。（ch$lai h&n;， ch！ z2o y3o hu1n de. sooner or later， you pay for what you do）. In this day and age， youll get rich quick by borrowing money from your parents and relatives to 炒房 （ch2of1ng， speculate in real estate）. I am sitting on a crappy hutong home within the Second Ring Road thats worth tens of millions， and I sure as heck didnt go to university. So stop asking me 愚蠢的 （y%ch^n de， stupid） questions！ Think about why you really need a higher education—to save you from being 腦子進水 （n2ozi j#nshu@， “a flooded brain，” moronic）， for one.

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