文/唐老雅

如何寫出具有個性的雅思作文
——開頭段

文/唐老雅1

老雅認為，6分雅思作文的核心在于邏輯通順，句子錯誤不多，而7分及以上不僅要語法正確，邏輯通順，而且要寫出一定的個性。那么，什么是個性？那就是你能寫其他多數(shù)烤鴨寫不出來的內(nèi)容。如果有一句精彩的語言，你能寫出來，其他很多考生也能寫出來，那這句話就沒有個性，這樣的作文就難以拿到7分以上的高分。很多同學沒有意識到這一點，過于依靠模板，結(jié)果自以為寫得不錯，最后得分卻很不理想。實現(xiàn)個性化寫作的方法很多，今天老雅先分享如何給雅思作文一個具有個性的開頭段。

一般說來，雅思的開頭段由三個要素構(gòu)成：話題引入，重述題目觀點，提出自己的觀點。當然，根據(jù)不同題目要求或烤鴨的全文結(jié)構(gòu)安排，在首段也可以不直接提出自己的觀點，而是留到結(jié)論段。據(jù)此，很多老師為備考雅思的同學準備了模板套餐，包括引入話題的模板，比如“with the development of...”“nowadays there is a heated topic about...”等；重述題目觀點的模板，比如“when it comes to...，many people believe...”“when asked about...，different people have different views...”，等等。這些模板有一個優(yōu)勢，那就是能讓考生快速進入寫作流程，不至于糾纏在開頭耽誤過多時間。但其問題也是明顯的：陳詞濫調(diào)，千篇一律，給“見多識廣”考官的第一印象通常比較差。因此，老雅的觀點是：對于寫作目標在6分的烤鴨來說，正確使用這些開頭段模板是有幫助的，但對于寫作目標在7分或以上的烤鴨來說，則需要在這些模板基礎上更進一步，體現(xiàn)出自己的寫作個性來。

要在雅思作文開頭段寫出個性，需要掌握兩個技巧：（1）引入話題時盡量對話題進行簡要描寫，融入個人化知識或經(jīng)歷，而不是簡單提出話題；（2）重述題目觀點時要用自己的語言對其用詞和句型進行改造，不可簡單重復。以下老雅通過具體例證，來分析如何在寫作中實現(xiàn)開頭段的個性化。

例1：舉著名的影視或文學作品引出話題

Some people believe there are intelligent life forms existing on other planets and it is better to send messages to them, but others think it is a bad idea because it is very dangerous to do this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

學生習作

Nowadays, there is a heated topic about whether we should send messages to intelligent life on other plants. Some people believe that we should do that, but others suspect it is a bad idea.

老雅范文

Our imagination about beings on other planets has never stopped and reached its climax in such movie series like “Star Wars” and “Star Trek” in 1960s and 1970s. If other life forms do exist, an idea I strongly support, should we, as human beings on the Earth, try to reach out and communicate with them?

本題需要描寫外星生命這個現(xiàn)象。學生開頭段直截了當，首句提出問題，次句重述題目觀點。這個開頭段中規(guī)中矩，有模板痕跡，對原題的改造也顯不夠，缺乏個性，屬于6分作文的開頭段。與此相對照，老雅范文首句通過描述我們對外星人的想象而引出話題，并引用《星球大戰(zhàn)》這樣具體個性化的系列電影，然后提出是否應該與外星人聯(lián)系這個問題，并把原文的send messages to them改造成為reach out and communicate with them。這個開頭段就是高分節(jié)奏了。

例2：以敘述的方式引出話題

Some people think they have right to use as much fresh water as they want, but others believe government should control the use of fresh water as it is limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

學生習作

When it comes to the issue about the use of fresh water, some people argue that they are entitled to consume fresh water without limitation, but others believe that the use of fresh water should be controlled by governments strictly.

老雅范文

We all, humans and non-humans alike, need fresh water for our survival.The issue is that a lot of people always try to make a case for their wasteful use of fresh water, arguing that they have money, and more importantly right to buy and use as much fresh water as they want. Their constant rhetoric is something like, “So what? Don’t worry, for we have enough fresh water!”

本題需要描寫人們對淡水使用的態(tài)度。學生習作使用了when it comes to the issue about/that...這個萬能句型引入話題，隨后對題目表達進行了適當改造（比如原文的they have right to use...被改為了they are entitled to consume...），因此，也可算比較成功的開頭。但老雅范文無疑更具個性，而且不露痕跡地提出了人們浪費淡水的理由，即淡水足夠多，用不盡。很自然地，接下去作文就該從不同方面論證淡水資源并非永不枯竭。以敘述的方式提出錯誤觀點，然后進行批駁，比生硬地提出這些觀點，更顯生動性。當然，在這個地方，烤鴨需要具備較強的語言控制力，要盡量在一兩句之間敘述出問題的核心所在，而不能用過長的篇幅，因為這畢竟只是作文的開頭段。

例3：用數(shù)據(jù)引出話題

More and more people buy and use their own car. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh its disadvantages for environment?

老雅范文

Just 50 years ago, to own a car was quite a luxury, but today, cars have found their way into many households. Statistics show in China alone, there are over 140 million cars running on road every day. While cars have brought about conveniences to their users, they have imposed great pressure on the environment.

本題需要描寫的現(xiàn)象是越來越多的人擁有汽車。如果僅僅提出話題，勢必就是Nowadays, an increasingly large number of people own their cars這樣的句子。老雅范文則另辟蹊徑，通過比較和引用數(shù)據(jù)來描寫“越來越多的人擁有汽車”這個現(xiàn)象，隨后提出這個現(xiàn)象既給使用者帶來方便，但同時也給環(huán)境造成了巨大壓力。引用具體數(shù)據(jù)來描寫現(xiàn)象，比枯燥的模板更具個性。

例4：用個人經(jīng)歷引出話題

City dwellers seldom socialize with their neighbors today and the sense of community has been lost. Why has this happened and how to solve this problem?

學生習作

In the current era, there is a phenomenon that urban residents are not eager to communicate with their neighbors and they do not have a sense of community.This essay may examine the possible reasons and potential solutions to reversing this tendency.

老雅范文

Now we have numerous newspaper reports about a child being robbed without anybody offering to help him or a ninety-year-old poor woman dead at home for days without anybody knowing it. All these reports point to one key problem that face dwellers in cities, especially big cities: they seldom interact with their neighbors, much less to say they care about their neighbors and they feel lonely because they do not feel they belong to any community.

本題需要描寫人們互不交往這一社會現(xiàn)象。學生習作直接提出這個現(xiàn)象，然后指出下文要討論其原因及解決辦法。老雅范文則通過引用報紙相關報道，用具體事例/個人經(jīng)歷來說明現(xiàn)象，讓作文的開頭頓時具有活力和個性。但老雅仍然要提醒烤鴨，此方法需要語言控制力，應避免將敘述變得過于零碎和漫長。

例5：通過把題目中的關鍵詞具體化來引入話題

People believe that using mobile phones and computers to communicate makes us lose the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To whatextent do you agree or disagree?

學生習作

When it comes to the issue about the influence brought by the pervasive use of technologies, some people argue that devices like mobile phones and computers do not damage the ability to communicate face to face, but I cannot agree with this solution.

老雅范文

We live in a world where communication through modern technology such as smart phone and computer is so prevalent that it’s hard to go anywhere without seeing someone texting, emailing, writing blogs or tweeting. Of course the use of technology can be good. It provides us with faster, more efficient ways to communicate with others, but it can also harm our ability to communicate with people face to face.

本題需要描寫人們越來越多地使用手機和電腦來交流這一現(xiàn)象。學生習作用“when it comes to the issue...”這個句型提出話題，隨后重述題目觀點，雖然直截了當，但也使作文失去個性。老雅范文則用texting、emailing、blogging、tweeting等電子交流的具體方式來引出話題，使文章顯得更加具體豐富，具有個性化，而不是那么干巴巴的了。

以上老雅通過具體例子歸納了一些讓雅思寫作開頭段具有個性化的辦法。在模板和個性之間，烤鴨應該根據(jù)自己的實際語言表達能力來選擇：若語言水平不足，應慎重使用個性開頭法，以免東施效顰；若語言水平足夠，卻受制于模板，則就是資源的極大浪費了。 □

1 唐偉勝，廣東外語外貿(mào)大學教授，博士，英美文學研究專家。

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