By Feng Jicai

Translation by Wang Xiaoke

Written on My Mother’s 100thBirthday

By Feng Jicai

Translation by Wang Xiaoke

Chinese elders will never forget their “l(fā)ongevity locks.” It is a small,exquisite accessory given to a newborn by his parents or an elder member of the family. The lock is commonly silver, made by a country craftsman, with several delicate bells attached to it. On it is the inscription “Chang Ming Bai Sui” (長命百歲 ) which means“(you will have) a long life of 100 years.” These auspicious words,though they do not often come true, are the typical blessing for Chinese children. In Chinese culture, such longevity itself stands for a blessed perfection of life. However, I never thought that one of my dear family members could literally have this blessing—to live to her 100s.How lucky I am!

How many people in the world can live to 100, and witness the vicissitudes of a whole century?

I am proud to tell you, my mother is one such person.

I did not have the extravagant hope for Mother to see a century until her 90th birthday. Then almost romantically, I started to dream of it. Our whole family had this hope along with faint worries. Without saying anything, my siblings and I,and even our children made concerted efforts to look after Mother, doing whatever we could to achieve this honorable goal.Especially when she was ill, we took on the challenge together as a well-trained team. We managed to win one “battle” after another with tacit cooperation and great effort. Actually, in these years after our father’s death (which made Mother emotionally fragile), all of us have become experienced in consoling her. I can’t remember how many times we have spoken on the phone about Mother’s happiness and health.

We are always as happy as children when we participate in Mother’s birthday every year;and no doubt in her eyes, we will remain kids forever. But in recent years, these kids have grown old,too. Now my youngest brother is 70, and my eldest sister is 80.Only when you are old enough,can you really know how precious it is to be a kid. What does it feel like to keep being a son at age 75? I guess not so many people can understand it as I do. It’s like staying in the shade of an ancient big tree. You know that you can still come back to your familyof-origin, and smell the unique warm breath which belongs only to your mother.

Life is peculiar. When you’re a child, your mother takes care of you and protects you from any danger. If someone’s knocking on the door, it would always be your mother who goes to see who’s out there. She would never ask you to do that. But when you grow up, the roles reverse. Now it is time for you to protect your mother and to answer the door.Such natural reversals of roles are some of the best parts of humane goodness. I went to my mother’s 91st birthday party, and then her 92nd, 93rd, and so on.As we moved forward together, I gradually had the strange feeling that she was becoming more of a daughter to me, and that what I should do was protect her, holding her inside the palmof my hand and helping her to realize the magnif i cent dream of a centenarian.

馮驥才和母親Feng Jicai and his mother

留在昔時中國人記憶里的，總有一個掛在脖子上的小小而好看的長命鎖。那是長輩請人用純銀打制的，鎖下邊墜著幾個精巧的小鈴，鎖上邊刻著四個字：長命百歲。這四個字是世世代代以來對一個新生兒最美好的祝福，一種極致的吉祥話語，一種遙不可及的人間向往，然而從來沒想到它能在我親人的身上實現(xiàn)。天竟賜我這樣的鴻福！

天下有多少人能活到三位數(shù)？誰能叫自己的生命裝進(jìn)去整整一個世紀(jì)的歲久年長？

我驕傲地說——我的母親！

過去，我不曾有過母親百歲的奢望。但是在母親過九十歲生日的時候，我萌生出這種浪漫的癡望。太美好的想法總是伴隨著隱隱的擔(dān)憂。我和家人們嘴里全不說，卻都分外用心照料她，心照不宣地為她的百歲目標(biāo)使勁。我的兄弟姐妹多，大家各盡其心，又都彼此合力，第三代的孫男娣女也加入進(jìn)來。特別是母親患病時，那是我們必須一起迎接的挑戰(zhàn)。每逢此時，我們就像一支訓(xùn)練有素的球隊，憑著默契的配合和傾力傾情，贏下一場場“賽事”。父親離去后，母親經(jīng)過許多磨難，更加多愁善感；多年來為母親消解心結(jié)已是我們每個人都擅長的事。我無法知道這些年為了母親的快樂與健康，我們手足之間反反復(fù)復(fù)通了多少電話。

然而近年來，每當(dāng)母親生日我們笑呵呵聚在一起時，也都是滿頭華發(fā)。小弟已七十，大姐都八十了?？墒窃谀赣H面前，我們永遠(yuǎn)是孩子。人只有歲數(shù)大了，才會知道做孩子的感覺多珍貴、多溫馨。誰能像我這樣，七十五歲了還是兒子；還有身在一棵大樹下的感覺，有故鄉(xiāng)故土和家的感覺；還能聞到只有母親身上才有的深摯的氣息。

人生很奇特。你小時候，母親照料你、保護(hù)你，每當(dāng)有外人敲門，母親便會起身去開門，決不會叫你去?？墒堑鹊侥愠砷L起來，母親老了，再有外人敲門時，去開門的一定是你；該輪到你來呵護(hù)母親了。人間的角色自然而然地發(fā)生轉(zhuǎn)變，這就是美好的人倫與人倫的美好。母親從九十一、九十二、九十三……一步步向前走。一種奇異的感覺出現(xiàn)了，我似乎覺得母親愈來愈像我的女兒，我要把她放在手心里，我要保護(hù)她，叫她實現(xiàn)自古以來人間最瑰麗的夢想——長命百歲！

母親住在弟弟的家。我每周二、五下班之后一定要去看她，雷打不動。母親知我忙，怕我擔(dān)心她的身體，這一天她都會提前洗臉擦油，攏攏頭發(fā)，提起精神來給我看。母親興趣多多，喜歡我?guī)硖炷系乇钡南ⅲ倚λ靶膽烟煜隆?。她還是個微信老手，天天將親友們發(fā)給她的美麗圖片和有趣的視頻轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)他人。有時我在外地開會，會忽然收到她的微信：“兒子，你累嗎？”可是，我在與她聊天時，還是要多方“刺探”她身體存在哪些小問題和小不適，我要盡快為她消除。我明白，保障她的身體健康是我首要的事。就這樣，那個浪漫又遙遠(yuǎn)的百歲目標(biāo)漸漸進(jìn)入眼簾了。

Mother lives with my younger brother. I visit her after work every Tuesday and Friday,and I am never absent for a single day. Mother knows that I’ve been busy at work and thus would not make me worried about her health. On the days I visit, she dresses up in advance in order to greet me with an air of good spirits.My mother has broad interests and hobbies, and she is keen to know whatever information I collect from different channels.I often playfully call her “an aged supervisor of the world.”She is also an active WeChat user who forwards all the beautiful pictures and fun videos she receives every day.When I attend meetings in other cities, sometimes I will receive a WeChat message from her asking, “Are you tired, my little boy?” On the other hand,because she will not tell me her own physical condition, I have to ask other people about it. My top priority has always been her health.

Time elapses, and our goal of her one-hundred-year life span seemed not to be so distant any more.

Last year, we celebrated mother’s 99th birthday. She was in good condition, still having considerable body strength as well as clarity of thinking.When I began to talk about the celebration of her 100th birthday, she suddenly said, “I am not intending to celebrate it. Just save the celebration for my 101st birthday!” I was at fi rst confused, and then understood what she meant.

Maybe the “100th birthday”was just too splendid a day for her. It somewhat implied entering another stage of life and seemed to be like the record bar for a high jumper to challenge.So perhaps, she began to have an impulse of both escaping and pursuing. Therefore, my siblings and I came to an agreement that none of us would mention her 100th birthday before the day really came, lest she felt pressured. But I put pressure on myself instead. I was afraid that she might be ill before the day.

My fear was realized. Two months prior to her birthday,she suddenly suffered from erysipeloid which caused complications of chilly fevers and a swollen shank. We immediately sent her to the hospital. The injection and transfusion seemed to be effective, but her condition was not stable. Fortunately,she finally recovered and went back home—that was three days before her birthday. Although the sickness was cured, her appetite and nerves were spoiled after all the transfusions and medicines from the past 50 days. So instead of a party, we each came in turn to Mother, each having a very brief talk with her, so that she could have a good rest. She had“l(fā)ongevity noodles” with my wife,my younger brother, and me for lunch. We made an agreement that in accordance with tradition,the whole family would hold a “compensational birthday party” for mother as long as she completely recovers.

On such an important day which comes only once a century,the simple celebration is hardly satisfactory. However, it is a day when my mother reaches a golden milestone on her life journey. The long and hard journey of one hundred years has already been recorded; a brand new century is now before her eyes. As for me, I still feel like dreaming a fantastic and luminous dream.

There was no feast of delicacies,or four-generation gathering. We just put several homely dishes of mother’s preference on the small table: a few glasses of red wine and a bowl of braised food including fungus, gluten, eggs,and a little tender meat. We made a toast to our mother in a warm atmosphere. I kept the precious memories in my mind instead of taking a photo, because Mother was still too weak to dress up.She only ate a few noodles, a little spinach, and a sip of wine. I think that long-term company with mother is her children’s greatest happiness, and I believe many people will feel the way I do.

At this moment, I am willing to tell this happiness to all my friends, because it is something worthy of sharing with you.?

(F r o m T o n i g h t N e ws,September 28, 2017)

到了去年，母親九十九周歲。她身體很好，身體也有力量，想象力依然活躍。正當(dāng)我開始設(shè)想來年如何為她慶壽時，她忽說：“我明年不過生日了，后年我過一百零一歲。”我先是不解，后來才明白，“百歲”這個日子確實太輝煌，她把它看成一道高高的門檻了，就像跳高運動員面對的橫竿。我知道，這是她本能地對生命的一種畏懼，也是一種渴望。于是我與兄弟姐妹們說好，不再對她說百歲生日，不給她壓力，等百歲那天來到自然就要慶賀了?？墒俏易约旱男睦镆采隽艘环N擔(dān)心——怕她在生日前生病。

然而，擔(dān)心變成了現(xiàn)實，就在她生日前的兩個月突然丹毒襲體，來勢極猛，發(fā)冷發(fā)燒，小腿紅腫得發(fā)亮。趕緊送進(jìn)醫(yī)院，打針輸液，病情剛剛好轉(zhuǎn)，旋又復(fù)發(fā)，再次入院，直到生日前三天才出院。雖然病魔趕走，然而一連五十天輸液吃藥，傷了胃口，變得體弱神衰，無法慶賀壽辰。于是兄弟姐妹商定，百歲這天，輪流去向她祝賀生日，說說話，稍坐即離，不叫她勞累。午餐時，只由我和愛人、弟弟，陪她吃壽面。我們相約依照傳統(tǒng)，待到母親身體康復(fù)后，一家老小再為她好好補(bǔ)壽。

盡管在這百年難逢的日子里，這樣做尷尬又難堪，不能盡大喜之興，不能讓這人間盛事如花般盛開，但是今天——

母親已經(jīng)站在這里——站在生命長途上一個用金子搭成的驛站上了。一百年漫長又崎嶇的路已然記載在她生命的行程里。她真了不起，一步跨進(jìn)自己的新世紀(jì)。此時此刻，我卻仍然覺得像是在一種神奇和發(fā)光的夢里。

故而，我們沒有華庭盛筵，沒有四世同堂，只有一張小桌，幾個適合母親口味的家常小菜，一碗用木耳、面筋、雞蛋和少許嫩肉燒成的拌鹵，一點點紅酒，無限溫馨地為母親舉杯祝賀。母親今天沒有梳妝，不能拍照留念，我只能把眼前如此珍貴的畫面記在心里。母親還是有些衰弱，只吃了七八根面，一點綠色的菠菜，飲小半口酒。能與母親長久相伴下去就是兒輩莫大的幸福了，我相信世間很多人內(nèi)心深處都有這句話。

此刻，我愿意把此情此景告訴給我所有的朋友與熟人，這才是一件可以和朋友們共享的人間幸福。?

母親百歲記

文/馮驥才 譯/王小可

（摘自《今晚報》2017年9月28日）