姜經(jīng)志

Today is Friday. It is my thirteen① birthday. I got up very early in the morning and put on my new clothes happily. My parents bought me the new clothes for② my birthday present. I went to school earlier than before. I invited many classmates come③ to my birthday party in the evening.

Evening came at last. Many of my classmates came to my home. They bought me lots of beautiful present④. They all said， “Happy birthday to you！” We all sang birthday songs happily. Then my parents took out a big birthday cake and said to me， “Happy birthday！We love you forever！”

At the end of the party， we eated⑤ the birthday cake and some other delicious food. How happy I was！

安徽省濉溪縣百善中心學校七（1）班 趙毅

點評

1. 優(yōu)點：

這是一篇典型的記敘文；時間、地點、人物、事件等要素齊全，表達清晰，讓人一目了然；時態(tài)運用準確。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①thirteen應改為thirteenth。此處應用序數(shù)詞thirteenth，意為“第十三”。

②for應改為as。表示“作為”，此處應用as。

③come應改為to come。表示“邀請某人去做某事”，應用invite sb. to do sth.。

④present應改為presents。此處應用名詞的復數(shù)形式。

⑤eated應改為ate。eat的過去式是不規(guī)則變化，即ate。

3. 評分：

按中考英語作文滿分25分的標準，本文修改前可得22分。endprint