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Outdoor Jokes

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A Simple Answer

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged[用肘輕推]his faithful friend. Holmes said: “Watson, look up and tell me what you see.”

Watson said: “I see a fantastic panorama[全景]of countless[數(shù)不清的]stars.”

Holmes asked: “And what does that tell you?”

Watson thought for a moment: “Astronomically[天文學(xué)上], it tells me that there are millions of galaxies[星系]and billions of planets. Horologically[鐘表學(xué)上], I deduce[推論]that the time is approximately[接近]a quarter past three. Theologically[神學(xué)上], I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant[微不足道的]. Meteorologically[氣象學(xué)上], I think we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”

“Why? What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a moment, then he spoke: “Someone has stolen our tent[帳篷].”

Under the Cart

One day, I accidentally overturned[推翻]my golf cart[高爾夫球車(chē)].

Elizabeth, a very beautiful and keen[熱心的]golfer, who lived in a villa[別墅]on the golf course[高爾夫球場(chǎng)], heard the noise and asked,“Are you okay? What’s your name?”

“It’s Jack, and I’m fne, thanks,” I replied.

“Jack, forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest

for a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”

“That’s nice of you,” I answered,

“but I don’t think my wife would like it.”

“Oh, come on,” Elizabeth insisted.“Well, okay,” I finally agreed, and

added, “but my wife won’t like it.”

After a drink and some fruit, I said, “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset.”

“Don’t be silly!” Elizabeth said with a smile, “She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”

“Under the cart,” I said.

Setting up the Camp

The loaded[裝滿的]mini-van[小型多功能廂式車(chē)]pulled into the campsite[營(yíng)地]. Four children leaped[跳]from the vehicle and began excitedly setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather frewood[木柴], while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove[爐]and cooking utensils[器具].

A nearby camper[露營(yíng)者]was surprised and asked the father, “That, sir, is some display[展示]of teamwork.”

The father replied, “I have a system—no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up.”