Li Ying is my classmate and she is also my good friend. She is fifteen years old this year， but she looks a little younger for her age. Though she isnt very tall， and her eyes， nose and mouth are very small， but① I think she looks very beautiful.

Li Ying studies very hard. She often asks and answers questions in class. She likes every subject， so she does well at② all her lessons， especially English and math. She often helps others on③ their lessons. I think thats why everyone likes her.

She is a very outgoing girl. She is always smiling and often makes us laughing④， so we all like to play with her. She is confident. She believes she can do everything well.

Now Li Ying has gone to another school. All of us feel very sad， but we wish her the best. We all believe that her dream will come true.

安徽省濉溪縣百善中心學(xué)校七（3）班 趙琪

1. 優(yōu)點：

小作者向我們展示一個樂觀、愛學(xué)習(xí)、愛幫助人的好女孩李瑩，形象生動，惹人喜愛。是一篇成功的寫人的記敘文。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① 刪去but。英語中，表示“雖然……但是……”時，用了though，就不能再用but。

② does well at應(yīng)改為does well in。表示“在……方面做得好”，應(yīng)用do well in。

③ on應(yīng)改為with。help sb. with sth.是習(xí)慣搭配，意為“幫助某人做某事”。

④ laughing應(yīng)改為laugh。make 作“使；讓”解時，后面應(yīng)接不帶to的動詞不定式作賓語補足語。

3. 評分：

按中考英語作文滿分25分的標準，本文修改前可得22分。