一沁供稿

職業(yè)病犯不得！

一沁供稿

On a Plane

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest[牧師]were out for a Sunday afternoon flight[班機]on a small private[私人的]plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine[發(fā)動機]trouble. In spite of[不管]the best efforts of the pilot[飛行員], the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed[奪取]a parachute[降落傘], said to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out[跳傘]. Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes left. The doctor grabbed one and said, “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and then he jumped out. The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.” He also grabbed a parachute and jumped. The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you[你的人生還很長]. Take the last parachute and live in peace.” The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry, Father. The ‘smartest man in the world’ just jumped with my backpack.”

Doctor’s Office

A guy walks into the doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I haven’t had a bowel[腸]movement in a week!” The doctor gives him a prescription[處方]for a mild laxative[輕瀉藥]and tells him, “If it doesn’t work, let me know.” A week later, the guy is back: “Doc, still no movement!” The doctor says, “Hmm, guess you need something stronger,” and prescribes a powerful laxative. Another week later , the poor guy back again:“Doc, still nothing!” The doctor says, “We’d better get some more information about you to try to figure out what’s going on. What do you do for a living?” “I’m a musician.” The doctor looks up and says, “Well, that’s it! Here’s $10. Go get something to eat!”

Caring Lawyer

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine[豪華轎車]when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate[調(diào)查].“Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man. “We don’t have any money for food,”the poor man replied. “Oh, come along with me then.” “But sir, I have a wife with two children!” “Bring them along! And you, come with us too!” he said to the other man. “But sir, I have a wife with six children!” the second man answered. “Bring them as well!” They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. On the way, one of the poor people said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.” The lawyer replied, “No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet[英尺]tall!”