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YOU’VE GOT QUESTlONS, SHE’S GOT ANSWERS

(BUT YOU PROBABLY WON’T LlKE THEM)

What’s the best time to visit Beijing? My friends are looking forward to having a good time here.

Lucy Loves Beijing

Some will tell you it’s May when the air is clean and the temperature is just right, but I won’t 蒙騙 (mēngpiàn, deceive) you with a 幻影 (huànyǐng, illusion) of Beijing life. Also, you can’t just 走馬觀花 (zǒumǎ guānhuā, “l(fā)ook at flowers while riding on horseback”, gain a superficial understanding through cursory observation) on your tour of a foreign country. I say, 入鄉(xiāng)隨俗 (rùxiāng suísú, when in Rome, do as the Romans do). Come to stay for a month in winter when it’s the coldest and smoggiest. You get to wear a 口罩 (kǒuzhào, face mask) every day—a quintessential Beijing experience! Hang out at the train station when everyone is trying to leave for the holiday season; facing the 人山人海 (rénshān rénhǎi, a sea of people), you will gain a deeper understanding of our culture. Such a pity you missed it all, better luck next year!

My friends always ask me to buy designer bags, cosmetics, and perfumes whenever I make a trip abroad. It’s such a hassle, what should I do?

Susan Smuggler

Where’s your 創(chuàng)業(yè)精神 (chuàngyè jīngshén, entrepreneurial spirit)? You should advertise your service online and charge your friends. Even my son started a 網(wǎng)絡(luò)公司(wǎngluò gōngsī, internet company). He helps people move house with his secondhand van, and get this: he put his contact information on WeChat. He said it’s called互聯(lián)網(wǎng)思維 (wùliánwǎng sīwéi, internet thinking). You’ve clearly discovered a 痛點 (tòngdiǎn, pain point), so take advantage of that. There’s even a 天使投資人(tiānshǐ tóuzīrén, angel investor) among my 廣場舞 (guǎngchǎngwǔ, dance in a public square) pals who would like to meet you...

Why do movies today suck so bad? There’s nothing worth seeing in the theater!

Annoyed Alex

你在說什么？(Nǐ zài shuō shénme？ What are you talking about? ) You are obviously not the 目標(biāo)觀眾 (mùbiāo guānzhòng, target audience). Just look at the票房(piàofáng, box office); billions and billions of RMB don’t lie. There is clearly plenty to see. The 青春題材 (qīngchūn tícái, teenage romance) where everyone ends up dead; the 愛情喜劇 (àiqíng xǐjù, romantic comedy) where the girl and the rich guy live happily ever after; the 魔幻題材 (móhuàn tícái, fantasy) films with cheap special effects…You are just the wrong guy to appreciate the wonder of it all.

Got questions for our Agony Ayi? Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com

Xiangyun Yarn (香云紗) is renowned as a handmade textile famous for the delicate processes involved. These fabrics can be found in the Lingnan area, a geographic location found in the modern Chinese provinces of Jiangxi, Hunan, Guangdong, Guangxi, and Hainan.