馮婭萍

【Abstract】Intercultural communication is becoming more and more significant nowadays, in which family culture plays an important part, so it is of great value to explore the discrepancies of family concepts to lessen the misunderstanding and prejudice between Chinese and Western cultures. What is more, in the process of the communication between China and West, an issue we cant ignore is the differences between Chinese and Western culture. Cultural differences greatly hamper cultural exchanges bringing people tremendous inconveniences. Therefore, the paper is designed to discuss the different family concepts between China and America based on the movie The Wedding Banquet in terms of individualism and collectivism, through an analysis of how family concepts differ in this film and how these influence the communication.

【Key words】Family Concepts; The Wedding Banquet

1. Brief Introduction to The Wedding Banquet

The Wedding Banquet, directed by Ang Lee who has focused on the different attitudes towards marriage between elder and offspring. Gao Weitong, from Taiwan, undertaking real estate business in America for many years, with a homosexual lover, Simon, had a happy life. Far away living in Taiwan, his parents didnt know Weitongs gay identity and urged him to marry and give birth to babies.

To fence with his parents, Weitong and Simon asked Vivi, their tenants, an illegal immigrant from shanghai, to impersonate his “girlfriend” and tell his parents they would “marry” soon. Unexpectedly, Weitongs parents, full of delight, insisted on coming to America to help their son get married.

After the wedding banquet, Weitong and Vivi, half–drank and exhausted, making a false thing become true, under the jubilant atmosphere, they had sexual relations and Vivi was pregnant. Hearing this news, Simon blustered and quarreled with Weitong in English. At last, Weitong told his mother he was a gay. With Vivi and Simon the three set up a special family. Vivi agreed to bear the baby and Simon would like to be another father of the baby. Weitongs parents also completed their desire that is to have a grandson to last their family.

2. Collectivism and Individualism

2.1 Collectivism in Chinese family

Collectivism is the tendency to be more concerned about the consequences of ones behavior on in-group members, and to be more willing to sacrifice personal interests for the attainment of collective interests. In collective cultures, the members work, play, live and sleep in close proximity to one another. In addition, Chinese think that living of three or four generations together as “extended family”, is one of the happiest things and this means they can share the space and do what they like together, because personal life is closely connected with family.

2.2 Individualism in American family

In individual culture, individual achievement is encouraged, and competition between persons is supported. Individualism is the tendency to be more concerned about the consequences of ones behavior or ones own needs, interests, and goals. In modern American Family, often described as the isolated nuclear family, individual freedom including privacy, space or personal will are paid attention to; that is, such family generally involves humanity liberty, personal freedom and gender equality.

3. Analysis on Family Concepts in The Wedding Banquet Based on Individualism and Collectivism

3.1 Conflicts between Filial Piety and Personal Freedom

In the movie The Wedding Banquet, Weitong is a man who is from Taiwan, undertaking real estate business in America for many years, with a homosexual lover, Simon, had a happy life. Having been deeply influenced by the traditional Chinese education that a child should listen to the elders words, Weitong chooses to keep the truth far away from his parents and follows the advice which is given by his parents. At the same time, we may find that Simon is a man who was educated in America and toward the same thing, unlike Weitong, who keeps the truth away from his parents, he tells the truth to his parents directly. What we can see from this is that sometimes in order to satisfy our parents, we Chinese people tend to abandon our own freedom, while American people would choose freedom for themselves.

3.2 Clash on Face Concept

In China, marriage isnt a personal affair just concerning about the bride and the bridegroom, but a grand event including all kinds of relationships. So mother said “How can you be so casual? What will we tell them (relatives)”, when they heard Weitong just wanted to hold their wedding simply. But from Weitong and Vivis angle of view, they didnt marry for relatives, caring little about the ceremonies. Vivi also said:“A wedding banquet will not affect how we love each other. We're not into these traditions.” In their opinions, marriage was just a romantic thing only for two persons, not needing to think about other peoples feelings and the so-called face. In individualistic culture, people concern more about maintaining their own face through their own effort independent from others, not considering much about how they influence others face. In collectivistic cultures, family, school and workplace are main sources of identity and status. In China, gaining and losing face is connected tightly with issues of social pride, honor, dignity, insult, shame, respect, and prestige.

3.3 The Attitudes towards Homosexuality

In The Wedding Banquet, hearing that son was gay, father couldnt accept, fainted and was sent into the hospital. In his opinion, homosexuality wasnt a normal thing for it wasnt possible for them to have a son to carry on the family line. Homosexuality in western society has been admitted and identified. Under the developing diversified social environment, western societies have treated homosexuality as normal phenomenon, acknowledging its validity. In China, obeying family rules and performing family obligations is important. However, homosexuality breaks this normal form of family happiness. While the countries of individualistic cultures, they stress personality and dignity. They are more independent from family comparatively. In their opinions, marriage is natural development of humanization and the combination of two individuals decided by free choices and natural trend. Therefore, they consider less about parents influence.

4. Conclusion

From the above analysis of the different family concepts in The Wedding Banquet under the individualism and collectivism, it can be concluded that conflicts mainly lie in filial piety verses personal freedom, different face concepts and different attitudes towards homosexuality. It can be seen that different cultures consist of different values inevitably bring the barriers or obstacles in cross-cultural communications. Therefore, knowing the difference is the precondition to achieve successful or effectively cross-cultural communication. In addition, establishing mutual understandings and reciprocal respects is the appropriate attitudes towards cross-cultural communication. Last but not least, to guarantee communication, learning some basic foreign language can help on some degree. The paper still lags behind because of the constant and increasing change occurring to family concepts among different cultures, and the film The Wedding Banquet is no longer the latest. Therefore, the study can be conducted further to explore the differences between Chinese and American cultures.

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