（but you probably wont like them）

Whats the best time to visit Beijing？ My friends are looking forward to having a good time here.

Lucy Loves Beijing

Some will tell you its May when the air is clean and the temperature is just right， but I wont 蒙騙 （m8ngpi3n， deceive） you with a 幻影 （hu3ny@ng， illusion） of Beijing life. Also， you cant just 走馬觀花 （z6um2 gu`nhu`， “l(fā)ook at flowers while riding on horseback”， gain a superficial understanding through cursory observation） on your tour of a foreign country. I say， 入鄉(xiāng)隨俗（r&xi`ngsu！s%， when in Rome， do as the Romans do）. Come to stay for a month in winter when its the coldest and smoggiest. You get to wear a 口罩（k6uzh3o， face mask） every day—a quintessential Beijing experience！ Hang out at the train station when everyone is trying to leave for the holiday season; facing the 人山人海（r9nsh`n r9nh2i， a sea of people）， you will gain a deeper understanding of our culture. Such a pity you missed it all， better luck next year！

My friends always ask me to buy designer bags， cosmetics， and perfumes whenever I make a trip abroad. Its such a hassle， what should I do？

Susan Smuggler

Wheres your 創(chuàng)業(yè)精神 （chu3ngy- j～ngsh9n， entrepreneurial spirit）？ You should advertise your service online and charge your friends. Even my son started a 網(wǎng)絡(luò)公司（w2nglu7 g4ngs～， internet company）. He helps people move house with his secondhand van， and get this： he put his contact information on WeChat. He said its called互聯(lián)網(wǎng)思維 （w&li1nw2ng s～w9i， internet thinking）. Youve clearly discovered a 痛點(diǎn) （t7ngdi2n， pain point）， so take advantage of that. Theres even a 天使投資人（ti`nsh@ t5uz～r9n， angel investor） among my 廣場舞（gu2ngch2ngw^， dance in a public square） pals who would like to meet you...

Why do movies today suck so bad？ Theres nothing worth seeing in the theater！

????????????????Annoyed Alex

你在說什么？（N@ z3i shu4 sh9nme？ What are you talking about？ ） You are obviously not the 目標(biāo)觀眾 （m&bi`o gu`nzh7ng， target audience）. Just look at the票房 （pi3of1ng， box office）; billions and billions of RMB dont lie. There is clearly plenty to see. The青春題材 （q～ngch$n t！c1i， teenage romance） where everyone ends up dead; the 愛情喜劇 （3iq！ng x@j&， romantic comedy） where the girl and the rich guy live happily ever after; the 魔幻題材（m5hu3n t！c1i， fantasy） films with cheap special effects…You are just the wrong guy to appreciate the wonder of it all.

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