為什么會存在校園欺凌的現(xiàn)象?為什么有的人會成為欺凌的對象?是他們招惹是非了嗎?是他們太過軟弱了嗎?看看下面五位被欺凌者講述的故事,你就會知道他們是何其無辜,只是因為一些愚蠢的偏見、歧視甚至毫無緣由地,他們就遭到了同齡人的欺辱。
... we are overweight
Alex and Philippe Haussmann, 15
Alex: It started in kindergarten with one or two people. I'd be playing with blocks and they'd knock down the tower, or they wouldn't share their blocks. Then it spread to whole groups of people who make sure you're left out. In middle school, one teacher always assigned me to sit with a group of kids she knew hated me. They moved my desk into the corner and said, \"Nobody wants to be with you, Alex.\"
Philippe: When I was 13, a kid tripped me in gym class. It broke my foot.
Alex: Having a twin made it worse. They would shout, \"Twincest1)!\"
Philippe: You can't show a reaction, even a waver in your voice. They'll feed off2) that. You have to kind of feel bad for them. They need to feed off your sadness to be happy.
……因為我們太胖
亞歷克斯·豪斯曼和菲利普·豪斯曼,15歲
亞歷克斯:我從幼兒園開始被人欺負,起先只是一兩個人。我玩積木,他們就推倒我搭建的塔,或者不讓我玩他們的積木。接著就發(fā)展到一整群人,他們確保我被排擠在外。中學(xué)時,有一個老師明知道一群孩子不喜歡我,還總安排我和他們坐在一起。他們把我的課桌搬到角落里,說:“沒人想和你一起坐,亞歷克斯?!?/p>
菲利普:我13歲時,一個小孩在體育課上絆了我一跤,害得我一只腳骨折了。
亞歷克斯:有個雙胞胎兄弟會讓事情變得更糟糕。他們會大聲喊:“兄弟亂倫!”
菲利普:你不能表現(xiàn)出任何反應(yīng),甚至聲音都不能有一絲起伏,不然他們會更起勁。你還得給他們表現(xiàn)出有幾分難過的樣子,他們需要看見你的難過,這樣他們才會覺得快樂。
... I am biracial
Moriah Kilgore, 15
When I was about 7, I told some girls that my mom was white and my father was black. One girl said, \"You do know that is illegal, and your parents are going to jail.\" It made me confused and sad. At the time, I lived in rural Minnesota. Most of the kids had straight blond hair. My hair was brown and very curly. A boy nicknamed me Miss Black. In fourth grade we moved to Roseville, where there are all different kinds of people. I made friends right away. But then there was girl-drama3) that made me feel I was ugly and a loser. I wanted to fit in with the white people but couldn't because I was black, and I wanted to fit in with the black people but couldn't because I was white. In eighth grade, black girls would say, \"Oh, she has nappy hair4),\" and laugh. Now I have more confidence. I got dreadlocks5), and I like them. And I am comfortable in my own skin. I'd rather be my own person than be like 400 people who are all the same.
……因為我是黑白混血兒
莫里亞·基爾戈,15歲
在我大概七歲的時候,我告訴一些女孩說,我媽媽是白人,我爸爸是黑人。其中一個女孩說:“你明知道這是違法的,你爸媽會進監(jiān)獄的?!边@讓我既困惑又難過。那個時候,我住在明尼蘇達州的農(nóng)村地區(qū),那里的孩子大部分都有一頭金色的直發(fā),可我的頭發(fā)卻是棕色的,而且很卷。一個男孩給我取了個外號,叫“黑妞”。四年級時我們搬到羅斯維爾,那里什么膚色的人都有,我很快就交到了朋友。但是,后來發(fā)生的女孩間的欺凌事件讓我覺得自己很丑,是個失敗者。我想融入白人的世界,但卻做不到,因為我是黑人;我想融入黑人的世界,但也無能為力,因為我是白人。等我上了八年級,黑人女孩總說“噢,瞧她那一頭密密麻麻的小卷毛” ,然后哈哈大笑。現(xiàn)在的我更有自信。我梳一頭的小辮,我很喜歡它們。而且我也對自己的膚色感到很自在。我寧愿做我自己,也不愿跟400個全都一模一樣的人一個模樣。
... I am Muslim
Khoshnoor Paracha, 17
The year I moved to the United States, the kids in my eighth grade class called me a terrorist and told me to go back to Pakistan. In the locker room, they treated me like I would blow up at any minute. When they would say, \"You're Pakistani; they are really, really bad.\" I'd say, like, \"Okay, that's what I am, but when you call me a terrorist, it hurts.\" That whole year, I sat alone during lunch. People threw paper balls at me, pushed me, took my food. The teachers didn't pay attention. High school is much better. My school is very diverse, and I'm more confident. No one calls me a terrorist. Still, things happen. At the bus stop, a scary-looking man pushed me down. No one stopped him. And a few weeks ago a woman walked by me in a store and said, \"Oh my God, it smells.\"
……因為我是穆斯林
胡什努爾·帕拉查,17歲
我家搬到美國那年,我上八年級,班里的孩子管我叫恐怖分子,還讓我滾回巴基斯坦去。在更衣室里,他們都對我避之不及,好像我隨時會爆炸似的。當(dāng)他們說“你是巴基斯坦人,他們實在是太壞了”時,我會說,“好吧,我是巴基斯坦人,但你們叫我恐怖分子時,我很受傷”。那一整年,我吃午飯時都是一個人坐。人們朝我扔紙團,推我,搶我的食物,老師們也不理會。上高中后,情況好多了。我上的這所高中非常多元化,我也更自信了。這里沒有人叫我恐怖分子。盡管如此,還是有事情發(fā)生。在公交車站,曾有一個長得很嚇人的男人把我推倒在地,卻沒有人阻止他。幾個星期以前,在一家商店里,一個女人從我身邊走過時說:“噢,我的天吶,難聞死了!”
... just because
Jamie Isaacs, 14
Not long after my eighth birthday, a close friend who used to come over to my house almost every day started saying, \"Oh, you're rich, you're rich.\" That same girl stabbed me with pencils, tripped me, and hit me in the face with her backpack. She recruited other girls. I'd tell my parents everything and they'd call the principal. When it got really bad, the school decided to remove me from the bus. In fifth grade a clique of girls IM'd6) me death threats. Later that same ringleader7) started an \"I Hate Jamie\" club. Kids threw food at me, yelled things at me, broke into my locker 14 times and ripped my stuff. I ended up speaking at a public hearing in Suffolk County about bullying because I thought that enough is enough. The private school I go to now doesn't tolerate bullying. I am extremely happy.
……因為沒有原因的原因
杰米·艾薩克斯,14歲
我八歲生日后沒多久,一個以前幾乎每天都來我家玩的閨蜜開始念叨:“噢,你有錢是吧,你真有錢是吧?!本褪沁@個女孩絆我,拿鉛筆戳我,用她的雙肩包打我的臉,還拉攏其他女孩一起欺負我。我把這一切都告訴我爸媽,他們就去找校長告狀。后來情況變得糟透了,校方只好決定不讓我搭校車。五年級時,一幫女孩還用即時通訊給我發(fā)死亡威脅的信息。后來,就那個罪魁禍?zhǔn)走€組建了一個“我恨杰米”社團。孩子們拿吃的東西扔我,大聲辱罵我,還14次撬開我的儲物柜,撕爛我柜子里的東西。最后我跑到薩??丝h的一個公開聽證會上說起了關(guān)于欺凌的問題,因為我覺得我已經(jīng)受夠了?,F(xiàn)在我在一家私立學(xué)校學(xué)習(xí),這里對校園欺凌絕不寬恕。我感到十分高興。
What's More
2015年3月,美國洛杉磯發(fā)生了一件駭人聽聞的中國未成年留學(xué)生欺凌案件。以翟蕓瑤為首的一群中國留學(xué)生對另一位中國留學(xué)生劉怡然折磨長達五小時,其殘忍手段令人發(fā)指。此舉觸犯了美國刑法,案件的兩名主犯被判終身監(jiān)禁,兩人累計保釋金高達600萬美元(超過3600萬人民幣)。該案件在國內(nèi)外均引起轟動,也令中國開始對校園欺凌問題進行反思。
1.twincest: 由twin和incest兩個單詞組成的單詞,指雙胞胎之間的亂倫。在2014年的電影《消失的愛人》(Gone Girl)中,這一單詞用來指男主角與其妹妹之間過于親密的關(guān)系。
2.feed off: 因……增長;利用……獲得成功(或取得優(yōu)勢)
3.girl-drama: 指通常發(fā)生在女孩之間的散播流言蜚語、用言語攻擊等欺凌事件。
4.nappy hair: 十分密集的卷發(fā)
5.dreadlocks [?dredl?ks] n. 臟辮,指梳很多小辮的發(fā)型,源自非洲黑人。
6.IM: (= Instant Message)即時通訊,這里用作動詞,指發(fā)即時通訊消息。
7.ringleader [?r??li?d?(r)] n. 挑起爭端者;頭目;首惡;魁首