沈麗君

湖北卷的短文寫作要求同學們根據(jù)英文提示，結合生活中的一個事例，寫一篇話題作文。這種“開放式”的論述文的命題形式給同學們很大的自由發(fā)揮空間，對寫作的布局謀篇提出了較高要求，要求同學們既要發(fā)表觀點，又要描寫敘述。

請根據(jù)以下提示，并結合具體事例，用英語寫一篇短文。

Honesty is a kind of courage and responsibility.Honesty wins trust， respect and friendship.

注意：①無須寫標題；

②除詩歌外，文體不限；

③內容必須結合你生活中的具體事例；

④文中不得透漏個人姓名和學校名稱；

⑤詞數(shù)不少于120，如引用提示語則不計入總詞數(shù)。

【審題謀篇】

一、讀提示語，鎖定寫作話題

英文提示語其實是讓同學們在英文語境中選擇一個恰如其分的話題，所以讀提示語，選擇合適的話題是寫作的關鍵。本文提示語意為：誠實是一種勇氣和責任，它能為我們贏得信任，尊重和友誼。

二、謀篇布局，擬定提綱

湖北高考英語短文寫作多采用三段式結構，即引言（introduction）——主體（body）——結尾（conclusion）。第一段提出話題——誠實是一種美德，也是責任，它能在生活中為我們贏得他人的信任和友誼；第二段主體部分用言簡意賅的語言敘述一個自己生活中遇到的與誠實有關的小事；第三段寫這個經(jīng)歷給自己的體會和啟示，回歸主題——誠實在生活中很重要。

習作一

Its generally accepted that honesty is a great virtue.Honesty makes people accepted and trusted by others， which is of great importance in our society. I learned it from my own experience.

One afternoon， I borrowed a dictionary from my best friend Bob. That was his favorite birthday gift from his uncle， which he lent to me without a second thought. But a few days later， I left the dictionary on the bus by accident. What should I do to face my generous friend？ At the beginning， I tried to find some excuses for my fault. However， I was not a good story maker. Having hesitated for a week， I chose to face my friend honestly. Taking up my courage， I apologized to him and told him the event. “Well，” he said. “Im a bit upset but Im happy that you can tell me the truth. I know my closest friend wont lie to me. Though I have lost my book， I still keep a true friend.” It was my frankness and honesty that helped me to be trusted by my friend.

Small as the thing was， it impressed on me that honesty is an important quality， which should deeply root in everyones heart. Only when we get along with others heart to heart can we be trusted and respected in life.

點評 本文是一篇高分作文，有以下優(yōu)點：

1. 首尾關于honesty的主題清楚明確；生活事例敘述完整生動，緊扣了主題，中心突出；

2. 恰當使用了語句間的連接成分，結構緊湊，語言表達流暢自然；

3. 文中運用了豐富的高級詞匯及短語。例如virtue， fault， generous， frankness， its generally accepted that，be of great importance， without a second thought， by accident， take up ones courage， story maker， impressed sth on sb； root in ones heart.

4. 多樣化的高級句型：

Honesty makes people accepted and trusted by others， which is of great importance in our society. （非限制性定語從句）

That was his favorite birthday gift from his uncle， which he lent to me without a second thought. （非限制性定語從句）endprint

Having hesitated for a week， I chose to face my friend honestly. Taking up my courage， I apologized to him and told him the event. （非謂語動詞，分詞完成式在句中做狀語）

It was my frankness and honesty that helped me to be trusted by my friend. （強調句）

Small as the thing was， it impressed on me that honesty is an important quality， which should deeply root in everyones heart. （as引導的讓步狀語從句的倒裝）

Only when we get along with others heart to heart can we be trusted and respected in life. （倒裝句）

習作二

In mordern society， honesty had gradually played an important role and also helped people to accomplish their own dreams.

As for me， honesty is a kind of energy to motivate me to study hard， because it can prove my ture level. For example， when we take part in the exam， everybody is ready to go through this “war”； if someone cheats in this exam， it is not good for student who often bury themselves in studying.

So honesty is not only good for those who work in the big company， but also helps students to study better like me. On the one hand， it can give people some good impression； On the other hand， when you enter some company which are famous in the world， they must watch over your actions whatever you have done.

So bear this in mind， honesty is becoming more and more important all over the world.

點評 這是一篇中檔習作，其優(yōu)點是：

1. 內容切題，首尾呼應，主題明確，語言表達清楚流暢。

2. 運用了一些好的詞匯和短語。如play an important role， accomplish ones dreams， as for sb， motivate sb to do sth， go through， bury oneself in， on the one hand， on the other hand， give sb good impressions， watch over， bear sth in mind.

3. 運用了一些高級句式。比如以下三個定語從句：

If someone cheats in this exam， it is not good for students who often bury themselves in studying.

So honesty is not only good for those who work in the big company， but also helps students to study better like me.

On the other hand， when you enter some companies which are famous in the world， they must watch over your actions whatever you have done.

不足之處：

1. 單詞拼寫錯誤：mordern-modern，ture-true

2. 名詞的單復數(shù)有誤：student-students，impression-impressions，company-companies

3.文章的段落有點多；第二，三兩段中所談及的事例不夠典型，表達不夠簡練，從而顯得層次不夠清晰。

【拓展語料】

Honesty is not only the best policy， it is rare enough today to make you pleasantly conspicuous.

—Charlie Brower

There is always a way to be honest without being brutal.

—Arthur Dobrin

Of all the feats of skill， the most difficult is that of being honest.

—Marie de Beausacq

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

—Thomas Jeffersonendprint