FOR SHAME !

BY SUN JIAHUI (孫佳慧)

Picture the scene: You’re having a pleasant conversation when someone else joins in, and says something awkward, inappropriate, or utterly irrelevant. An awkward silence follows—someone has to resurrect the conversation, even though everyone knows that things are now weird, but they’re still talking and oh god why won’t it stop?

In China, these moments are known as 尬聊 (galiáo), literally “embarrassing chat”, with 尬 (ga) from 尷尬 (gānga, embarrassment) and 聊 (liáo) meaning“chat.” One famous offender is Chen Luyu, one of several TV hosts dubbed by some as “China’s Oprah”due to her popular talk show A Date With Luyu, but who might as well be China’s Alan Partridge for all her regular galiao moments. Once, when her guest Zhang Chaoyang, CEO of Sohu, described being “on a plane, watching the moon in the night sky, full of emotions…” Chen interrupted to ask, “How could you see the moon in the plane?” “Because the plane has windows,” Zhang politely explained, after a meaningful if brief pause. Viewers remarked “主持人又在尬聊了。” (Zhǔchirén yòu zai galiáo le. The host is embarrassingly chatting again.)“Embarrassing talk” doesn’t have to be one-sided: It can refer to any conversation that takes place in an excruciating atmosphere. This might be a bad date (“我們完全就是在尬聊。Wǒmen wánquán jiùshì zai ga liáo. We were totally embarrassingly chatting.”) or an unsuccessful negotiation. (“什么也沒談成，就是在尬聊。Shénme yě méi tán chéng, jiùshì zai galiáo. Nothing was settled, just an embarrassing chat.”)

EMBARRASSING cHAT cAN REFER TO ANY cONVERSATION THAT TAkES PLAcE IN AN EXcRUcIATING ATMOSPHERE

And of course, embarrassment doesn’t only exist in conversation. In daily life, a 尬-prefixed verb can describe any kind of blunder. Terrible acting in a movie could be 尬演(gayǎn, embarrassing acting), implying that an actor’s performance is so poor, viewers feel uncomfortable watching it. A flattering review of said film would accordingly be 尬評(píng) (gaping, embarrassing review), something so blatantly false it’s shameful to read. Note that bad dancing may be called尬舞 (gawǔ, embarrassing dance), but the term 尬舞 can also refer a “breakdancing battle,” which has nothing to do with a choreographic gaffe and actually predates the use of 尬 for embarrassments all and sundry.

With the term so commonly used, some people have begun to reflect on the fact that they feel embarrassed so frequently, it’s almost a disease—尷尬癥 (gāngazhèng, embarrassment syndrome), or, more seriously, 尷尬癌 (gānga’ái, embarrassment cancer). For instance, 聽著他們尬聊，我尷尬癌都要犯了。(Tīngzhe tāmen galiáo, wǒ gānga’ái dōu yao fan le. Listening to their embarrassing talk, my chronic embarrassment cancer strikes again.)

But unlike real cancer, there are straightforward cures to embarrassment, such as thinking before you speak, or just finding a new circle of friends.