A little kid gets on a city bus， sits right behind the driver， and starts talking loudly，

“If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow， Id be a little bull.”

The driver gets annoyed as the kid continues to yammer[嘟囔道] on.

“If my dad was a rooster and my mom a hen， I would be a little chick.”

The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows， when finally， the bus driver yells，

“What if your dad was a bum[流浪漢] and your mom was a drunk[酒鬼]？”

The kid smiles and says， “Id be a bus driver.”

小提示

該笑話中的小屁孩使用了以if引導(dǎo)的虛擬語(yǔ)氣，但這并不是規(guī)范的語(yǔ)法。在表示與事實(shí)相反的情況時(shí)，if引導(dǎo)的從句里的be動(dòng)詞應(yīng)為were，主句則用should、would、could或者might加動(dòng)詞原形，例如：

If I were you， I wouldnt worry about it. （如果我是你，我就不會(huì)對(duì)此擔(dān)心。）

Getting Forgetful[健忘的] 健忘癥

Three old ladies sit in a diner， discussing their health.

One lady says， “You know， Im getting really forgetful. This morning， I was standing at the top of the stairs， and I couldnt remember whether I had just come up or was about to[將要] go down.”

The second lady says， “You think thats bad？ The other day， I was sitting on the edge of my bed， and I couldnt remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up！”

The third lady smiles smugly[得意洋洋]. “Well， my memory is just as good as its always been， knock on wood，” she says as she raps[嘮叨] on the table. Then with a startled[感到驚訝的] look on her face， she asks， “Whos there？”

小提示

knock on wood是美式英語(yǔ)中常用的習(xí)語(yǔ)，對(duì)應(yīng)的英式英語(yǔ)是touch wood，意為敲敲木頭（人們認(rèn)為觸碰木頭可以帶來(lái)好運(yùn)），例如：

Knock on wood. I havent missed one days work.（謝天謝地，我工作從未缺勤過(guò)。）

I almost got bitten by a dog. Knock on wood.（我差點(diǎn)就被狗咬了，真是好險(xiǎn)。）