by Katherine Goldstein 譯/周穎

社交網絡不是年輕人的專屬，一些不甘落后的父母也在追趕這一潮流。突然之間，長大離家的孩子似乎又變得近在咫尺，指尖一觸，他們每天的生活狀態(tài)盡在眼前。社交網絡仿佛為父母架起了一臺超級望遠鏡，他們因重新參與子女的生活而興奮不已?？稍谇Ю镏?，孩子們卻在心里大聲說——Stop following me！

Ishould have known I was in trouble. Before I arrived home for a regular family visit， my dad asked a special request of me： “Katherine， since you are such an expert on social media， I need to sit down with you for a tutorial1） when youre in town.”

“Sure，” I agreed. “Ill be happy to show you some things.”

My dad， while perhaps not always great at operating gadgets， has always been an early adopter. He was the first person I knew to have a BlackBerry， and he rushed out to buy an iPad when it came on the market. And hes always been keenly interested in the influence of technology. While I have friends who giggle about parents who share a joint email address and find text messaging wildly complicated， I thought： “Good for Dad. Hes really making an effort to learn.”

My dad had signed up for Twitter but was a little baffled by some of the finer points. Would I mind showing him if there was a way to see all of his followers clearly？ And how does one retweet？ As promised， I sat down with him and set him up with TweetDeck. I showed him how to use the retweet button， and linked his Twitter and Facebook accounts. “This is so cool！ And helpful！ I really feel totally set up now. Thanks so much， Katherine，” he gushed. All in a days work2）.

When I set up Dads account， I noticed that because he followed so few people， it was mostly just filled with my tweets. Some time shortly after that， I realized that my dad seemed to be reading every single thing I tweeted. If I tweeted something that had anything to do with my life， like asking for a restaurant recommendation， mentioning I was going to a concert， or making an observation about a business meeting， Id receive a prompt email with his two cents3） about where I should go， or telling me to have a grea0t time， or asking me how the meeting went.

I initially found it funny that my dad seemed to be watching my movements so closely， and it was sort of sweet how I would receive an email rather than a message back on Twitter. I asked him how he managed to always see every one of my tweets and respond so promptly. “Oh， I set up an alert to get a message to my BlackBerry every time you tweet.” It was then that I realized I had created a monster. His interest in Twitter had gone from curiosity to enthusiastic parental monitoring tool.

The idea of my dad hovering over my electronic movements perplexed me. My parents have never been prying helicopter parents. Theyve always encouraged my brother and me to be independent， travel alone， and make life decisions for ourselves without their nitpicking4）. They are always enthusiastic to talk about anything， but Id never describe either of them as nosy5）. Twitter quickly changed that. My boyfriend and I were toying with6） the idea of taking a vacation to Beirut， Lebanon. I tweeted a question if anyone had visited or had recommendations. I quickly received an email from my dad， “I hope you mean Lebanon， Pennsylvania！ You cant seriously want to go to Lebanon.”

Our phone calls increasingly began with a 10-minute rundown7） of everything that hed seen me tweet about since we last talked. My dad has always been an indefatigable8） cheerleader and PR agent to the point of embarrassment to his children， and it became clear that he was less trying to hover and more using Twitter to mine exciting life details that he was， perhaps， overly enthused by： “You met Norah Ephron！！” “You got to go to Facebook headquarters！??！” “You had a picnic this Sunday?。?！” “You made roasted duck?。。　?/p>

While I mainly tweet things related to work and the news， the one in every 10 tweets that had something to do with my life seemed to provide my dad with a steady stream of insight that hed been deprived of since I left for college.

Ive never had any illusions that Twitter was private， and Ive always been acutely aware that I should never tweet something unprofessional. But all of a sudden Twitter felt a little less fun： Anything I tweeted Id likely have to discuss with my dad later， even if it was as harmless as going to a gallery. If I wanted to tell him about it， I would. Living in a city hundreds of miles away provides a grown daughter with the privacy to selectively edit your weekend plans， or not have to tell Dad whether or not your scintillating9） comments lit up the conference room. Anything that I hinted at on Twitter I had to be prepared to answer for later. I couldnt block him. I didnt have the heart to do so. Instead I applied the test “Will I want to talk to Dad about this later？” to anything I tweeted.

Even as I became more aware of the degree of my dads Twitter stalking and started gently teasing him about it， he was not deterred. When I saw him in person， hed make a point to ask me in front of other people， “So how many Twitter followers do you have now， Katherine？ Its over a 1，000 now， isnt it？ Is it over 1，500？ She has OVER 1，500 followers！” Hed brag to anyone in earshot. He loved the idea that this number somehow denoted a kind of status. “I only have 200！” he would add. Isnt the dream of every father for his children to be more successful than himself？

I think the pinnacle10） of my dads Twitter mania came when Slate11） launched our newsblog， “The Slatest，” which I oversee. Since hed sort of gotten the hang of12） the retweeting thing， anything I tweeted related to the launch hed retweet within minutes. He became one of the first followers of the newly created Slatest Twitter account， and because it had few followers in the beginning， when you looked at the list of @ mentions， seven out of 10 of them were from my dad. I knew he thought that he was helping me succeed. I imagined he concluded that if he retweeted all of the stories， it would noticeably bring the site more readers. Thats how social media works， right？ All he had to do to show his support was push a button.

He was in such a flurry13） about “The Slatest” that he even called me during the middle of the workday to discuss it. Twice. For my dad， there are few things more sacred than hard work. Calling me during office hours was the sort of thing I thought hed only consider if someone had died. But Twitter also changed that. The tweets were so instant he couldnt hold back his responses. “I saw your tweet and I was just so excited that I wanted to say congratulations again！ Hows everything going？”

I found myself using the service less and less， keeping it mostly to news links that caught my interest. I started relegating14） my increasingly fewer updates about my life to Facebook. Dad seemed less into Facebook， and there wasnt any easy option for him to get real-time updates sent to his phone. While he still brings up things he sees me tweet， over time he started to tone it down since there was less fodder15）. Maybe a bit of the novelty wore off. Maybe he started following more people so it became harder to focus solely on me.

My mom， although she has a Twitter account， for the most part had stayed out of the whole frenzy. She sheepishly16） admitted that she didnt read all of my tweets and just let my dad fill her in17） on the most important ones. （Fine by me?。?As my dads intensity waned， I thought the chapter on parental Twitter stalking had come to a close. Recently， I tweeted out to my followers that I was taking suggestions of possible topics for a fourweek project. I immediately got an email about it， but it wasnt from my dad. It was from my mom. “I just saw your tweet， and I wanted and I wanted to tell you …”

我早就該知道我有麻煩了。在一次例行回家探望父母時，還沒到家，老爸就向我提出了一個特殊的請求：“凱瑟琳，既然你是社交媒體方面的專家，等你回來了，我得坐下來向你求教一番。”

“沒問題，”我答應道，“我很高興能教你點什么?！?/p>

對于新玩意兒，我老爸也許并不總是非常懂操作，但他總是早早開始使用。在我認識的人中，他是最早使用黑莓手機的。iPad剛一上市，他就趕緊跑去買了一部。他對技術產品所帶來的影響總是充滿濃厚的興趣。當我的朋友們嬉笑著談論他們的父母共用一個電子信箱，而且覺得發(fā)短信無比復雜時，我就會想：“還是我老爸好。他真的在很努力地學習?！?/p>

老爸早先已經注冊了推特賬號，但他對其中的某些細節(jié)問題感到有些迷惑。他想讓我教他是否有辦法能清楚地看到他所有的粉絲，還有該怎樣轉發(fā)推文。既然答應了他， 我就和他一塊坐下來， 幫他設置了TweetDeck客戶端（編注：一款推特客戶端， 在其中用戶可以將推特信息分類展示）。我教他怎樣使用轉發(fā)按鈕，并將他的推特和Facebook賬戶關聯(lián)起來?！斑@真是太棒了！太有用了！我真覺得現(xiàn)在完全設置到位了。非常感謝，凱瑟琳?！彼d奮地說。其實這沒什么稀奇的。

在設置老爸的賬號時，我發(fā)現(xiàn)因為他關注的人太少，他的推特上大多只有我的推文。就在此后不久，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我所發(fā)布的每一條推文老爸似乎都讀了。如果我在推文里提到任何和我生活有關的事，比如請大家推薦一家餐館，或者提到我要去聽音樂會，或者對某個商業(yè)會議發(fā)表了看法，我就會立刻收到他的郵件，主動提議我該去哪里，或者祝我玩得開心，或者問我會議進行得怎么樣。

一開始我覺得這很有趣，老爸似乎在密切注視著我的一舉一動。而且，我收到的并不是推特上的一條回復，而是一封電子郵件，這多少讓我感覺到幾分貼心。我問他怎么總能看到我的每一條推文，而且能如此迅速地回應我?！班?，我設置了一個提醒功能，你每次發(fā)表推文，我的黑莓手機都能收到一條信息。”直到那時，我才意識到自己惹下了麻煩。他對推特的興趣起初只是出于單純的好奇，現(xiàn)在他卻把它當成了狂熱父母監(jiān)督子女的工具。想到老爸在監(jiān)視著我在電子世界的一舉一動，我感到很困惑不解。我父母從來就不是那種喜歡窺探和監(jiān)視子女的父母。他們總是鼓勵哥哥和我獨立，獨自去旅行，自己生命中的大事自己做決定，而不要他們指手畫腳。雖說他們一直以來對任何話題都很感興趣，但我從來都不認為他們兩個是那種愛管閑事的人。但推特迅速改變了這一切。我和男朋友半開玩笑地商量著要去黎巴嫩的貝魯特度假，于是我發(fā)了一條推文，問有沒有人去過或者有什么建議。我立刻收到了老爸的一封郵件：“我希望你說的是賓夕法尼亞州的黎巴嫩！你不是真的想去黎巴嫩吧?！?/p>

逐漸地，我們之間的電話都要有一個十分鐘的開場白，梳理和總結自上次通話以來他所看到的我在推特上發(fā)布的一切。老爸一直是個不知疲倦的拉拉隊長和公關顧問，甚至會讓子女感到窘迫。我開始明白，與其說他是在試圖監(jiān)視我，倒不如說他是在利用推特來發(fā)掘生活中那些激動人心的細節(jié)，那些令他興奮得也許有點過頭的細節(jié)：“你見到了諾拉·艾芙隆?。?！”“你要去Facebook總部啊?。。　薄澳氵@個周日去野餐了?。。?！”“你做了烤鴨啊?。?！”

雖然我主要發(fā)布與工作和新聞有關的推文，但十篇里面也會有一篇是關于我個人生活的，這似乎給老爸提供了穩(wěn)定而源源不斷的洞悉我生活的機會——自從我上大學以來他就被剝奪了這種機會。

我從未幻想過推特是私密的，也總是十分清醒地知道我決不該發(fā)布不專業(yè)的推文。但突然之間，推特變得不那么好玩了：我所發(fā)布的任何內容以后都可能得和老爸一起討論，哪怕是去看畫展這樣無關痛癢的小事。如果我想要告訴他的話，我會告訴他的。生活在千里之外的城市里，一個成年的女兒就有了一份隱私，可以有選擇地制定自己的周末計劃，也不必告訴老爸你的真知灼見是不是讓會議室變得生機盎然。我在推特上不管提到些什么，都必須做好以后和老爸談論的準備。我又不能把他拉黑。我不忍心這么做。相反，我采取的辦法是不管我發(fā)布什么，我都要先問自己：“我以后想和老爸談論這個嗎？”

雖然我越來越清楚老爸在推特上對我的跟蹤程度，并且也開始就此事和他開一些小玩笑，可他依然如故。見到他本人時，他常常會當著別人的面特意問我：“凱瑟琳，你的推特上現(xiàn)在有多少粉絲了？有1000多個了，不是嗎？超過1500了嗎？她的粉絲都超過1500個了！”他會對能聽到此話的所有人都夸耀一番。這個數(shù)字不管怎樣也是一種地位的顯示吧，他喜歡這樣認為?！岸抑挥?00個！”他會補充說。孩子比自己更成功，這不是每個父親的夢想嗎？

當《S l a t e》雜志推出由我負責的新聞博客“T h eSlatest”時，我覺得老爸對推特的狂熱也達到了登峰造極的地步。由于他已經差不多掌握了轉發(fā)的方法，我所發(fā)布的任何關于推出新聞博客的推文，他都會在幾分鐘內進行轉發(fā)。他成為剛剛創(chuàng)建的Slatest推特賬戶最早的粉絲之一。由于一開始這個賬戶的粉絲很少，當你查看“@提到我的”消息列表時，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)十有七八都是來自我老爸。我知道他認為他是在幫助我獲得成功。我想他肯定認為如果他轉發(fā)了所有的報道，這就能給網站帶來數(shù)量可觀的更多讀者。這就是社交網站運營的方式，不是嗎？要表示支持，他要做的只是點一下按鈕。

他對“The Slatest”如此緊張，甚至在上班時間他也會打電話來跟我討論。這樣的事已經發(fā)生過兩次了。在老爸看來，沒有什么事比努力工作更神圣。我本以為，只有當有人去世的時候，他才會考慮在上班時間給我打電話。但推特連這一點都改變了。由于推文具有很強的即時性，他往往克制不住自己的反應?！拔铱吹侥愕耐莆牧?，我太激動了，我要再次向你表示祝賀！一切還順利嗎？”

我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己使用推特的次數(shù)越來越少，大多只是發(fā)布一些我感興趣的新聞鏈接。關于我個人生活的更新越來越少，而且我開始將它們轉移到Facebook上。老爸對Facebook似乎不那么入迷，而且也沒有什么簡便的方式將實時更新發(fā)送到他的手機上。雖然他還會提起他看到的我的推文，但漸漸地，他開始說得少了，因為已沒有多少談資。也許是他的新鮮感已慢慢消失。也許是他開始關注更多的人，所以只盯著我一個變得不那么容易了。

我老媽雖然也有推特賬號，但她此前基本都置身于這所有的狂熱之外。她不好意思地承認并不是我所有的推文她都讀過，只是讓老爸把最重要的一些講給她聽。（這對我來說沒什么不好的?。╇S著老爸興趣的減弱，我以為“家長推特監(jiān)視”這一章已經翻過去了。最近，我對粉絲們發(fā)布了一條推文，說我在為一個為期四周的項目征求話題建議。我立刻就收到了一封關于此事的郵件，但那不是老爸發(fā)的。發(fā)信的人是老媽：“我剛剛看到你的推文，我想告訴你……”

1. tutorial [tju??t??ri?l] n. 大學導師的個別指導時間；大學導師的輔導課

2. all in a days work：不足為奇的，很平常的

3. two cents：（未經邀請而發(fā)表的）意見

4. nitpick [?n?t?p?k] vi. 〈口〉挑剔，吹毛求疵

5. nosy [?n??zi] adj. 〈口〉愛打聽的，好管閑事的

6. toy with：不太認真地考慮

7. rundown [?r?n?da?n] n. 概要，總結

8. indefatigable [??nd??f?t?ɡ?b（?）l] adj. 不倦的；不屈不撓的

9. scintillating [?s?nt??le?t??] adj. 煥發(fā)才智的

10. pinnacle [?p?n?k（?）l] n. 頂點，頂峰

11. Slate：美國知名網絡雜志，1996年創(chuàng)刊，以其政治評論、離

奇新聞和藝術特寫等內容而聞名。

12. get the hang of：〈口〉掌握……的竅門，熟悉……的用

13. flurry [?fl?ri] n. 慌張；激動

14. relegate [?rel?ɡe?t] vt. 交付，托付

15. fodder [?f?d?（r）] n. 素材

16. sheepishly [??i?p??li] adv. 羞怯地，靦腆地

17. fill sb. in：向某人提供詳情