（一）

A preacher is buying a parrot.

“Are you sure it doesn’t scream， yell， or swear？” asked the preacher.

“Oh absolutely. It’s a religious parrot，” the storekeeper assures him.

“Do you see those strings on his legs？ When you pull the right one， he recites the lord’s prayer， and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm （贊美詩）.

“Wonderful！” says the preacher， “but what happens if you pull both strings？”

“I fall off my perch， you stupid fool！” screeched the parrot.

一位傳教士在買鸚鵡。

“你確定它不會亂喊亂叫或者說臟話嗎？”傳教士問。

“哦，那當(dāng)然。它是只有宗教信仰的鸚鵡?！钡曛飨蛩麚?dān)保。

“你看到他腿上的繩子了嗎？你拉一下右邊的繩子，它就會背誦主禱文，拉左邊的繩子，它就會背誦第23首贊美詩。

“太棒了！”傳教士說，“那如果兩邊的繩子同時拉呢？”

“那我就會從棲木上掉下去了，你個白癡！”鸚鵡尖叫道。

（二）

One day， a father and his little son were going home. At this age， the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now， he asked， “What’s the meaning of the word ‘drunk’， Dad？”

“Well， my son，” his father replied， “l(fā)ook， two policemen are standing there. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.”

“But， dad，” the boy said， “there’s only one policeman！”

一天，一位父親帶著他的兒子一起回家，小孩在這個年齡，總是對什么事情都很感興趣，喜歡問問題。這時，小男孩問道：“爸爸，‘喝醉’是什么意思啊？”

爸爸回答道：“兒子，你看，那里站著兩個警察，如果我看成了四個警察，我就是喝醉了。”

小男孩說：“可是爸爸，那里明明只有一個警察呀！”

（三）

Father： You know， Tom， when Lincoln was your age， he was a very good pupil. In fact he was the best pupil in his class.

Tom： Yes， Father. I know that. But when he was your age， he was President of the United States.

父親：你知道嗎，湯姆，林肯像你這么大時，是一個很優(yōu)秀的學(xué)生，實(shí)際上是他們班最好的學(xué)生。

湯姆：是的，我知道，爸爸。但是他在你這個歲數(shù)時，已經(jīng)是美國總統(tǒng)了。