智能手機(jī)無時(shí)不在，無處不在。餐桌旁邊，有人目不轉(zhuǎn)睛盯著手機(jī)；公共場(chǎng)所，有人打起電話無所顧忌；即使面對(duì)面談話，也難免對(duì)方一頭扎進(jìn)手機(jī)，把你晾在一旁。時(shí)代如此，不管是因自己的冒犯心生愧疚，還是對(duì)他人的干擾不勝其煩，都來學(xué)學(xué)這幾個(gè)智斗手機(jī)的妙招吧！

A recent study of dining habits reveals how far standards have slipped. The majority of Britons no longer eat together as a family， but of those who do four out of ten can’t see anything wrong with bringing their laptops， iPads and smartphones to the table and carrying on engaging with them.

Indeed， the new social savagery1） is everywhere， and not just at the dining table. Just step into the street and the communal atmosphere has gone. Most pedestrians are in their private bubbles， either speaking on their mobiles or wearing headsets—perhaps so they don’t have to listen to others speaking on theirs.

At parties—originally designed to promote friendship and romance—the direct experience is being intercepted by smartphone as partygoers are too busy announcing their presences at the event and checking on the progress and whereabouts of their peers. In the age of perma—2） provisional arrangements， their friends are bleeping in to say they have decided that this is the best party on offer and they are on their way， but “could you text me the address again？”

In restaurants， theatres， libraries， school speech days3）， at home en famille4）， people are distracted by a brightly—lit device that seems to hold the promise of something better.

It is a generational thing， of course. The worst offenders are teenagers—in terms of the group who are the most distracted because this is the generation who never knew life when it was “real.” They live in the continuous future. They have no experience of subtlety， nuance5） or considered responses—only of instant， illiterate and ill—considered ones. The gratification teens crave is not the warm smile of affection or the approving comment from another human， but the sense of achievement they gain from electronic validation. Emails， texts and updates pinging6） in reassure them they are alive and popular and abreast of7） rolling social news.

No wonder they are addicted to the source of this reassurance. Counsellors say it is very hard for a teenager to get through a 50—minute session without begging to break off to check their messages.

Twentysomethings are less electronically enslaved—but even the best mannered among them feel they must be permanently available because of the instant nature of modern social life. Thirty—， forty— and fiftysomethings can still remember a time when it was considered rude to stop talking to one person and turn away to address someone else.

Yet this is exactly what happens when you take a mobile phone call with your original interlocutor8） in front of you. Offenders know， in theory， that it is rude to do so， but it seems each call is a special case； each one is urgent and will only take a minute.

We must forgive them， for they know not what they do. Or rather， some of them do know—but feel they are powerless to resist because “that’s what life is like now.” Malachy Guinness， 28， who co—runs Bright Young Things Tuition， comes from a family famed for their exquisite manners. Says Malachy： “My mother gets very cross9） when I keep taking calls and texting but I say， the great thing about my smartphone is it allows me to work on the move. So I can either see more of you and continue working while I do so， or stay in the office and see less of you.”

Malachy is actually a victim， rather than a beneficiary， of new technology. If it was not available， people would not be enslaved to it. We， the pitying onlookers， are victims， too. But the rudeness is rarely intentional. It is not that the worst offenders do not care about the effect their intrusive shouting into mobiles， for example on trains， has on others. They often are simply unaware of it.

So how can we bring them to their senses？ I offer some advice for the following scenarios.

In the living room

When someone brings out a mobile， or starts talking on one， leave the room and go and read a book in another one until they have finished and come looking for you. Then say pleasantly： “I didn’t like to disturb you by making you feel guilty that you were ignoring me while you talked to someone else.” Stay silent and wait for their response.

On the train

If someone is shouting banalities10） or indiscretions11） into their phone for more than a few minutes， record it with your own phone—then play it back to them. When they hear their own voice booming out at them from the seat behind， I can assure you they are more than startled. They get the message instantly and immediately bring their call to a halt.

When being shown photos on someone’s iPhone

Say： “In the olden days， there was something called Rotary Club12） dinners after which someone would set up a screen and show their holiday snaps. It was a sure way of clearing the room. How interesting that your generation don’t think it dull as well.”

In a restaurant

The worst place to take a call is in church， second worst the theatre， the third during a speech and the fourth in a restaurant. If you know you are likely to have an extremely urgent call， genuinely urgent， while in a restaurant， warn your companions before， put your phone on vibrate and then go out to take the call in the street or lobby.

One of the reasons Novikov， the new restaurant in Berkeley Street， is so popular with smart young businessmen—and you see hordes13） of them dining in groups there each night—must be that the music is just loud enough to drown out the sound of ringing mobiles. What blessed relief.

Constant photography

I recently spent a long weekend14） in a house party of 12， ranging in age from 22 to 80. It seemed like a peak experience but on return one of the twentysomethings present sent me a photo album of 180 shots and four short films. No wonder he had looked so distracted while we were there. Somehow the shots made everything look dank15）， dismal and banal. Tell your houseguests there is a ban on photos and filming. They are much happier if the possibility does not exist and they can just get on with living in real time.

In the theatre

It is unfortunate that people often agree to meet friends outside the theatre so they leave the mobiles on so as to make contact. In the last—minute rush of getting their tickets and finding their seats， they can forget to turn them off， with predictable results. A friend of mine who despises himself each time it happens yet still keeps forgetting asked for my advice. Change your ringtone to the sound of coughing， I suggested. Actors are well used to a competing background of coughs from the audience.

近期一項(xiàng)關(guān)于飲食習(xí)慣的調(diào)查表明了我們?cè)谶@方面的水準(zhǔn)下滑到了何種程度。大多數(shù)英國(guó)人不再全家人一起用餐，而在全家一起用餐的人當(dāng)中，也有40%的人認(rèn)為把筆記本、iPad或智能手機(jī)帶上餐桌并不停地?cái)[弄這些東西沒有什么不對(duì)。

事實(shí)上，社交場(chǎng)合這種新的野蠻行為無處不在，并不僅僅出現(xiàn)在餐桌上。走上街頭，公共生活的氛圍已不復(fù)存在。大多數(shù)行人都蜷縮在他們虛幻的私人空間中，要么在打電話，要么戴著耳機(jī)——或許這樣他們就不必去聽其他人打電話了。

聚會(huì)本來是為了增進(jìn)友誼和促成浪漫，但是面對(duì)面的直接交流卻不停被智能手機(jī)打斷，因?yàn)閰⒓泳蹠?huì)的人一直忙著告訴別人他們?cè)诰蹠?huì)現(xiàn)場(chǎng)，同時(shí)忙著關(guān)心朋友們的行蹤和去向。這個(gè)時(shí)代，安排永遠(yuǎn)都是臨時(shí)性的，手機(jī)滴滴響，朋友們發(fā)來信息，說他們已經(jīng)確定這是他們受邀的聚會(huì)中最好的一個(gè)，正在趕來的路上，但是“你能把地址再發(fā)給我一遍嗎”？

在餐館、劇院、圖書館里，在學(xué)校的授獎(jiǎng)演講日，在全家人團(tuán)聚時(shí)，大家的注意力都被一個(gè)閃閃發(fā)亮的裝置分散走了，就像它能帶來什么更好的東西似的。

當(dāng)然，這是一代人的問題。就誰的注意力被分散得最嚴(yán)重而言，最過分的是青少年，因?yàn)樗麄冞@一代人從不知道“真實(shí)”生活是什么樣子。他們生活在連續(xù)不斷的未來世界里。他們從未體驗(yàn)過什么叫微妙，什么叫精細(xì)，也不會(huì)做出深思熟慮的回答——他們的回答都是脫口而出、滿嘴語病、考慮不周的。青少年們渴求的滿足并不是從他人那里得到充滿愛意的溫暖笑容或是肯定的評(píng)價(jià)，而是從電子形式的認(rèn)可中獲得的成就感。電子郵件、短信、網(wǎng)絡(luò)更新叮叮當(dāng)當(dāng)?shù)貍鬟^來，這讓他們感到安心，覺得自己活著，吃得開，而且跟得上不斷更新的社會(huì)新聞。

難怪他們?nèi)缃駸嶂杂谕ㄟ^這種方式尋求安慰。學(xué)校輔導(dǎo)員說，對(duì)于一個(gè)十幾歲的少年來說，如果不請(qǐng)求課間休息來查看短消息的話，就很難熬過一節(jié)50分鐘的課。

二十幾歲的年輕人相對(duì)而言較少沉溺于電子裝置。但是，即便是他們中舉止最得體的人也認(rèn)為，由于現(xiàn)代社會(huì)生活瞬息萬變，他們必須隨時(shí)可以聯(lián)系上。而三十幾歲、四十幾歲和五十幾歲的人卻依然記得，曾幾何時(shí)，人們認(rèn)為中斷和一個(gè)人的談話而轉(zhuǎn)頭和另一個(gè)人說話是粗魯?shù)男袨椤?/p>

而當(dāng)著談話對(duì)象的面接手機(jī)正是這樣一種行為。犯這種錯(cuò)誤的人們從道理上知道這么做失禮，但似乎每個(gè)電話都是特例，每個(gè)電話都很緊急，而且只占用一分鐘時(shí)間。

我們必須原諒他們，因?yàn)樗麄儾恢雷约涸谧鍪裁??；蛘吒_切地說，他們中的一些人是知道的，但覺得自己無力反抗，因?yàn)椤吧瞵F(xiàn)在就是這樣的”。28歲的馬拉齊·吉尼斯來自一個(gè)以舉止講究而聞名的家庭，他與人合伙經(jīng)營(yíng)一家名叫“聰明孩子”的教育輔導(dǎo)機(jī)構(gòu)。馬拉奇說：“每當(dāng)我不停地接電話、發(fā)短信時(shí)，媽媽就非常生氣。但我告訴她，我的智能手機(jī)好就好在它可以讓我在移動(dòng)中工作。所以，我要么多去看看你同時(shí)不耽誤工作，要么待在辦公室工作但跟你少見面?！?/p>

其實(shí)，馬拉奇是新科技的受害者，而不是受益者。如果沒有新科技，人們就不會(huì)沉溺其中。我們作為富有同情心的旁觀者，同樣也是受害者。但那些人并不是有意這么粗魯?shù)?。那些最過分的人會(huì)在火車之類的地方對(duì)著手機(jī)大呼小叫，干擾別人，他們并非不在意這種行為對(duì)他人的影響，通常只是沒有意識(shí)到而已。

那么，我們?cè)趺茨苁顾麄円庾R(shí)到呢？我在此提出一些建議來應(yīng)對(duì)以下情形。

在客廳里

有人掏出手機(jī)或開始打電話時(shí)，你就離開客廳到另一個(gè)房間看書，直到他們打完電話來找你。然后你和氣地說：“我這么做只是不想打擾你，不想讓你因?yàn)榕c別人說話卻忽視了我而感到內(nèi)疚。”然后靜觀他們?nèi)绾畏磻?yīng)。

在火車上

如果有人對(duì)著電話嚷嚷了不止幾分鐘，說的全是陳詞濫調(diào)，或是言辭粗俗，你就用手機(jī)把這些話錄下來，然后重放給他們聽。當(dāng)他們聽到自己的聲音從后方座位大聲傳出來時(shí)，我敢保證他們會(huì)嚇壞的。他們會(huì)立刻明白你的意思，馬上停止打電話。

有人向你展示他們iPhone里的照片時(shí)

你可以這樣說：“以前，有個(gè)叫‘扶輪社晚餐’的聚會(huì)，結(jié)束之后有人會(huì)立個(gè)屏幕，向別人展示他們的假期快照。這是清空房間的一個(gè)極靈驗(yàn)的方法。你們這一代人竟然也不覺得這么做很無聊，這真有趣?！?/p>

在餐館里

最不應(yīng)該接手機(jī)的地方是教堂，劇院次之，然后是在演講中，再者是在餐館里。如果你知道自己在餐館進(jìn)餐時(shí)可能會(huì)接一個(gè)十分緊急——真正緊急——的電話，那就提前告訴與你一同進(jìn)餐的人，把手機(jī)調(diào)到振動(dòng)模式，然后出去到街上或大廳里接電話。

伯克利街上新開的Novikov餐館備受精明的年輕商務(wù)人士的歡迎，每晚你都能看到一大幫人三五成群地一起吃飯。其原因之一肯定是那兒的音樂聲音夠大，可以蓋住手機(jī)的來電鈴聲。多么令人欣慰！

不停地拍照

最近，我在一次家庭聚會(huì)上度過了一個(gè)長(zhǎng)周末。聚會(huì)一共12人，年齡從22歲到80歲不等。這次聚會(huì)似乎是一次極為愉快的經(jīng)歷，但是剛一回來，參加聚會(huì)的一位二十幾歲的年輕人就發(fā)給我一個(gè)相冊(cè)，里面有180張照片和四個(gè)短片。難怪在聚會(huì)上他看上去那么心不在焉。但不知為什么，照片讓聚會(huì)上的一切看起來都那么陰冷、沉悶、庸俗。告訴你的客人們不要在你的家里拍照或攝像。沒有了這個(gè)念想，他們會(huì)更開心，就能好好享受當(dāng)下的生活。

在劇院

令人遺憾的是，人們常常約好在劇院外與朋友碰面，因此他們要保持手機(jī)開機(jī)以取得聯(lián)系。在最后一分鐘忙著買票、找位置的時(shí)候，他們會(huì)忘記關(guān)掉手機(jī)，結(jié)果可想而知。我有一個(gè)朋友，每次發(fā)生這種情況他都會(huì)自責(zé)，可他還是經(jīng)常忘記關(guān)機(jī)，于是問問我有什么建議。把你的手機(jī)鈴聲換成咳嗽的聲音，我這樣建議他。觀眾席里常有此起彼伏的咳嗽聲與演員搶風(fēng)頭，他們對(duì)此已經(jīng)習(xí)以為常。

1.savagery [?s?v?d?（?）ri] n. 野蠻行為，暴行

2.perma—：[前綴]表示“永久的”

3.speech day：（學(xué)校每年一次的）向優(yōu)秀生授獎(jiǎng)的演講日

4.en famille：和家人在一塊

5.nuance：請(qǐng)參見第29頁(yè)注釋15。

6.ping [p??] vt. 發(fā)出砰（或咻）的聲響

7.abreast of：及時(shí)了解（新生事物）

8.interlocutor [??nt?（r）?l?kj?t?（r）] n. 對(duì)話者，談話者

9.get cross：發(fā)脾氣，生氣

10.banality [b??n?l?ti] n. 陳腐；陳詞濫調(diào)

11.indiscretion [??nd??skre?（?）n] n. 輕率的言行

12.Rotary Club：扶輪社，是國(guó)際扶輪社（Rotary International）的地區(qū)性社會(huì)團(tuán)體。國(guó)際扶輪社1905年始于美國(guó)，是以增進(jìn)職業(yè)交流及提供社會(huì)服務(wù)為宗旨的非政府組織。其特色是每個(gè)扶輪社的成員需來自不同的職業(yè)，各扶輪社每周利用一次的早餐、午餐或是晚餐的時(shí)間舉行例行聚會(huì)，聚餐時(shí)間既是社交活動(dòng)，又是一起討論服務(wù)目標(biāo)的機(jī)會(huì)。

13.horde [h??（r）d] n. 大群，一幫，一伙

14.long weekend：長(zhǎng)周末假期，即普通周末假期再加前后一兩天

15.dank [d??k] adj. （令人不舒服地）潮濕（寒冷）的；陰濕的