Television Shock

When the TV went off in the Bufkins house in Forest Hills， New York， panic set in.First， Bufkins thought it was his set in the living room， so he rushed into his bedroom and turned on that set. Nothing. The phone rang and Mrs.Bufkins heard her sister say that there was a black out.She hung up and said to her husband， \"It isn't your set.Something'shappenedtothetop of Empire State Building. \"

Bufkins said，\"Who are you?\"

\"I'm your wife， Edith. \"

\"Oh，\" Bufkins said，\"then I suppose those kids in there are mine. \"

\"That's right，\" Mrs. Bufkins said. \"If you ever got out of that armchair in front of the TV set， you'd know us. \"

\"Boy， they're really grown，\" Bufkins said， looking at his son and daughter. \"How old are they now?\"

\"Thirteen and fourteen，\" Mrs. Bufkins replied.

\"I'll be darned. Hi， kids. \"

\"Who's he?\" Bufkins's son， Henry， asked.

\"It's your father，\" Mrs. Bufkins said.

\"I'm pleased to meet you，\" Bufkins's daughter， Mary， said shyly.There was an embarrassed silence all around.

\"Look，\" said Bufkins， finally，\"I know I haven't been much of a father， but now that the TV's out， I'd like to make it up to you. \"

\"How?\" asked Henry.

\"Well， let's just talk，\" Bufkins said ， \"That's the best way to get acquainted.\"

\"What do you want to talk about?\" Mary asked.

\"Well， for starters， what school do you go to?\"

\"We go to Forest Hills High School， \"Henry said.

\"What?\"Bufkins asked. \"Have you been to the high school?\"

\"What do you do?\" Mary asked.

\"I thought you were a car salesman，\" Mrs.Bufkins said in surprise.

\"That was two years ago.Didn't I tell you I changed jobs?\"Bufkins said in surprise.

\"No，you didn't.You haven't told me anything for two years.

\"Yup， I'm doing quite well， too，\"Bufkins said.

\"Then why am I working in a department store?\" Mrs. Bufkins demanded.

\"Oh， are you still working in department store? If Ihad known that，I would have told you could quit lastyear. You should have mentioned it，\"Bufkins said.

There was more dead silence.Finally Henry said， \"Hey， you want to hear me play guitar?\"

\"I'll be darned.You know how to play the guitar?Say， didn't I have a daughter who played the guitar?\"

\"That was Susie ， \"Mrs.Bufkins said.

\"Where is she?\"

\"She got married a year ago， just about the time you were watching the World Series.\"

紐約市林山區(qū)布福金斯家的電視突然關(guān)閉，頓時一陣恐慌。布福金斯首先想到的是起居室里他那臺電視，于是他一個箭步奔進(jìn)臥室，打開那臺電視。上面什么圖像也沒有。這時，電話鈴響了起來。布福金斯太太聽到是她的妹妹說發(fā)生了無線電通訊中斷。她掛上電話，對丈夫說:“不是你的電視問題。是帝國大廈頂部發(fā)生了故障?！?/p>

布福金斯問:“你是誰?”

“我是你的妻子愛迪絲呀?！?/p>

“噢，”布福金斯說，“那么，我想那里的兩個孩子都是我的吧?！?/p>

“說的對，”布福金斯太太說，“如果你離開電視機(jī)前的那把扶手椅，你就會認(rèn)識我們了。”

“噢，他們的確已經(jīng)長大了，”布福金斯說著，看了看兩個兒女?！八麄儸F(xiàn)在幾歲了?”

“一個13歲，一個14歲，”布福金斯太太回答說。

“我真該死!你們好，孩子們。”

“他是誰?”布福金斯的兒子亨利問。

“那是你的父親，”布福金斯太太說。

“很高興見到你，”布福金斯的女兒瑪麗面帶羞澀地說。四周一片寂靜，令人非常尷尬。

“嗨，”布福金斯最后說，“我知道自己不配做一名父親，但既然電視現(xiàn)在停了，我想補(bǔ)償你們一下?！?/p>

“怎么補(bǔ)償?”亨利問。

“噢，我們就聊聊天吧，”布福金斯說，“這是我們增進(jìn)了解的最好方法?！?/p>

“你想聊什么?”瑪麗問。

“呃，作為小學(xué)生，你們上的是哪所學(xué)校?”

“我們都上林山高級中學(xué)了，”亨利說。

“怎么?”布福金斯問，“你們都已經(jīng)上中學(xué)了?”

“你干什么工作?”瑪麗問道。

“我想你是汽車推銷員吧，”布福金斯太太驚訝地說。

“那是兩年前的事了。我沒有給你說過我已經(jīng)換工作了嗎?”布福金斯吃驚地說。

“沒有，你沒有說過。兩年了，你什么也沒對我說過。”

“對，我一直干得很好，”布福金斯說。

“那我為什么要每天去百貨商店上班呢?”布福金斯太太厲聲說道。

“噢，你還在百貨商店上班?”布福金斯說，“早知道這樣，去年我就會告訴你辭掉那份工作的。你應(yīng)該對我說一下才是?！?/p>

又是一片死寂。最后，亨利開口說道:“嘿，你想聽我彈吉他嗎?”

“我真該死。你知道怎樣彈吉他嗎?喂，我不是有個會彈吉他的女兒嗎?”

“那是蘇茜，”布福金斯太太說。

“她在哪里?”

“她一年前就出嫁了，就是在你坐在電視機(jī)前觀看世界職業(yè)棒球錦標(biāo)賽那天?！?/p>