與至親至愛生死離別之時(shí)，最教人撕心裂肺。一次次閱讀這篇文章，作者憶起在夜里給母親唱歌的那個(gè)溫情片段，讓人感受到回憶的美好之余亦揪心不已。誰不愿相信，有一種愛，至死不渝。

——Lavender

You asked me to sing to you. I complained， “1)Aw， Mom， I’ll wake people up.” Once again， I let my ever-present 2)stage fright come before you. Looking back， it’s hard to believe I was so selfish. But you persisted， and eventually I 3)caved.

I sang our favorites—4)Barbara Streisand， 5)Linda Ronstadt and 6)Bette Midler. My voice was quiet and 7)hushed， 8)commensurate with the dim light in the room. I made sure the sound didn’t penetrate the walls. You listened with your eyes closed， then thanked me and told me how lovely and peaceful it was.

When we brought you home that last week in January， I would sit with you in the evenings. I read to you from 9)The Tragedy of Richard the Third， knowing it was your favorite. Of course， I made sarcastic comments along the way. “Lady Anne was the biggest idiot in the world.” My eyes searched yours for a response， hoping they would open and smile at my 10)glib attempts.

I read you poetry from 11)Robbie Burns and 12)Walt Whitman， and rubbed 13)lotion on your hands. Finally， I worked up the courage to sing to you again. You weren’t able to ask me this time. Grandma peeked through the door and gave us a tearful smile. I stopped. “Keep singing to your mother，” she said. When I finished Dad asked me， “Would you sing at the memorial service?” You were lying right beside me， and suddenly it seemed so 14)perverse to have this conversation in front of you. “I don’t know if I can. I’ll try.” We didn’t speak of it again.

That Saturday， after you were gone， I went home and practiced with a little help from the 15)Absolut bottle. I needed you to hear me one last time， beautiful and unblemished.

And then there I was， standing at the 16)podium. I hadn’t told anyone what was planned in case I 17)chickened out. While the minister told me when to come up during the service， Shirley， who was giving the 18)eulogy asked， “But what if someone stands up before Jennifer?” I shot back， “Well， now—they’ll just have to wait， won’t they?” She laughed， “You are just like your mother.” I smiled and thanked her for the compliment.

My hands shook as I faced the microphone. I spoke a few words to gather my courage and 19)compose myself. Then， very quietly， I sang20)Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

I thought back to when I was a little girl. You would call me on the phone during one of your trips to watch 21)The Wizard of Oz with me on TV. Miles apart and 22)racking up the long distance charges， we would both squeal during the 23)tornado scene. We sang duets， and trios when Ashlea rode in the car with us. It was our song.

I finished the last line， “If happy little 24)bluebirds fly， beyond the rainbow， why oh why can’t I?” Then I whispered， “Mom， you have beautiful wings now. May they take you wherever you want to go...”

At least a hundred people witnessed the most difficult moment of my life， but only one person mattered. Of course I will sing for you， Mom. Feel free to ask me any time.

你讓我唱歌給你聽。我怨叨著:“唉呀，媽，我會(huì)把人家吵醒的。”又一次，我讓自己的慣性怯場(chǎng)占了上風(fēng)，沒答應(yīng)您?；叵肫饋?，自己真是自私得難以置信。但你堅(jiān)持要我唱，而我最后也讓步了。

我唱了我們的最愛——芭芭拉·史翠珊、琳 達(dá)·朗絲黛和貝特·邁德爾的歌。我的聲音很輕，和房間里昏暗的燈光相稱。我盡力控制音量，不讓其穿透墻壁。你閉上眼睛傾聽著，然后感謝我，說我的歌聲如此美妙寧靜。

那個(gè)一月里的最后一周，我們把你帶回家。那些晚上，我總會(huì)陪坐在你旁邊。我給你念《理查德三世的悲劇》里的故事，因?yàn)槲抑滥鞘悄愕淖類?。?dāng)然，我會(huì)邊讀邊作充滿譏諷的評(píng)論?！鞍材菪〗闶鞘郎献钌档纳倒??！蔽視?huì)朝你雙眼看過去，尋求回應(yīng)，我希望你會(huì)睜開眼，微笑著對(duì)我那“狡猾的”企圖作出回應(yīng)。

我讀羅比·伯恩斯和沃爾特·惠特曼的詩給你聽，給你的手涂抹潤(rùn)膚露。最后，我鼓起勇氣想再次唱歌給你聽。這次你沒法叫我唱。奶奶瞇著眼睛從門縫往里看，含著淚對(duì)我們微笑。我停了下來?！袄^續(xù)唱歌給你媽媽聽?！彼f道。當(dāng)我唱完歌，爸爸問我:“你能在追悼?jī)x式上唱歌嗎?”你那時(shí)就躺在我旁邊，在你面前說這樣的話，突然顯得太殘忍了?！拔也恢牢夷芊褡龅?。我盡量吧?！蔽覀儧]再提起這件事。

那個(gè)周六，你去世以后，我回到家，稍稍地借助了那瓶“絕對(duì)伏特加”的酒力來練唱。我要你最后一次聽到我完美無暇的歌聲。

就這樣，我最終站到了臺(tái)上。以防臨時(shí)怯場(chǎng)，我事先沒有告訴任何人我的計(jì)劃，臨場(chǎng)才向牧師要求加插，牧師于是告訴我該在葬禮過程中哪個(gè)時(shí)候上場(chǎng)，這時(shí)，準(zhǔn)備致悼詞的雪莉問道:“要是有人在詹妮弗唱之前站起來搶著表達(dá)哀思呢?”我馬上反駁:“那現(xiàn)在他們就得等一等，不行嗎?”她笑道:“你可真像你媽媽?！蔽倚π?，感謝她的稱贊。

面對(duì)著麥克風(fēng)，我的雙手顫抖著。我說了幾句話，好讓自己鼓起勇氣，并且鎮(zhèn)定下來。然后，我輕柔地唱出一曲《彩虹深處》。

我回想起孩童時(shí)期，每次媽媽你出門在外而電視在播《綠野仙蹤》時(shí)，你都會(huì)打電話來讓我也看。盡管相隔千里，長(zhǎng)途話費(fèi)激增，我倆仍會(huì)在電話里為影片中出現(xiàn)的那一幕龍卷風(fēng)場(chǎng)景齊聲尖叫。我們會(huì)唱二重唱，和埃西里同車時(shí)，我們就變成了三重唱。那是我們的歌。

我唱完了最后一句歌詞:“倘若快活的小青鳥能飛越彩虹，為何，噢，為何我卻不能?”然后，我悄悄說道:“媽媽，你現(xiàn)在擁有美麗的翅膀了。但愿它們能帶你去任何你想去的地方……”

我這一生中最艱難的時(shí)刻至少有上百人看著，但我只在意一個(gè)人。媽媽，我當(dāng)然會(huì)唱歌給你聽，什么時(shí)候讓我唱都行。