Dear Grandchild，

Grandma and Grandpa know that you’re hurting right now because Mommy and Daddy are breaking up. It’s called “divorce” and you probably know some other children who have gone through this， too. It happens a lot， more than anyone would like， but we want you to know that you’re not alone.

Grandma and Grandpa know that you probably don’t feel that way right now. It’s no fun at all， is it? Just a little while ago， things looked fine， everything seemed to be just right， and now everything seems to have fallen apart. We really wish we could somehow “kiss all the 1)boo-boos” and make everything right， but， sadly， Honey， we can’t.

We want you to know that this time is difficult for us， too. It makes us very sad to see the hurt and uncertainty in your eyes. When we sense that you are hurting， we hurt， too.

Mommy and Daddy have found that， for whatever reasons， they can’t go on living together. You must know that Mommy and Daddy still love YOU very much even if they are having problems with each other.

We want you to know several important things， things that we hope will help you to go through this scary and difficult time.

The first thing that we want to tell you is this: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You know， whenever a divorce happens， almost all children think that they did something that made it happen. And we want to promise you this—that is almost NEVER true! Mommies and Daddies who break up are doing so because they are having some big problems in their relationship. And you are not to blame. If you are blaming yourself， even a little bit， please let us know. Talk to us or write us and we’ll be your special friends and listen to your feelings.

The second thing we want you to know is that YOU PROBABLY CAN’T FIX IT. Lots of kids imagine that they might be able to find just the perfect thing to say or do and， magically， Mommy and Daddy will start loving each other again. We’re sorry to tell you， that also almost never works. Sometimes Mommies and Daddies DO get back together again， later， after a time apart and some time for healing， but that happens because THEY found their own reasons to do so.

The third and maybe the most important thing Grandma and Grandpa want to tell you is this: WE WILL NEVER DIVORCE YOU! We will ALWAYS be there for you when you need us. Sometimes we may be far away， but you can call or write us. We’ll answer as soon as we can. And you can always talk to us because we promise to be the very best listeners we can for you.

You need to know that we won’t ever 2)take sides between your Mommy and your Daddy. The only “side” we’re going to be on is YOURS. Instead， we’ll be a good listener and we’ll also help you find good things to do and great ways to spend your time. We’ll search for fun and we’ll make some of our own， too.

You might think that you’ll never be happy again or that things will never feel right again. We can understand those feelings. But we want you to know something that we’ve learned because we’ve lived so long and seen and experienced so many things—you WILL laugh again， it WILL get better. You’ll laugh and grow and experience joy again. Good things will happen. You will have many good times with Daddy and many good times with Mommy again， we assure you. It won’t be the same as it was but your life will be a good one. And the love that surrounds you—from your parents and from all your grandparents and from the rest of the family and all your friends—that love will heal and help.

You can contact us easily. We’re enclosing a card with our address， home phone number， cell phone number and email address. So， no matter where you are， you’ll always be able to reach us. If you have to， you can 3)call us “collect.” I have also included a pack of 4)stamped postcards addressed to us. So you can always send us a card. And there’s a stack of 5)stamped addressed envelopes for when you have longer things to write or a nice picture to send us.

Honey， you’re not alone. Your Mommy and Daddy still love you， even if they are breaking up. And we’ll always love you， no matter what. And remember:

WE WILL NEVER DIVORCE YOU. NEVER.

LOVE，

Grandma and Grandpa

親愛的孫子(/孫女):

爺爺奶奶知道你此時正難過著，因為爸爸媽媽分開了。那叫“離婚”，你大概也認識其他一些有類似經(jīng)歷的孩子。這種事很常見，沒人愿意這樣，但我們想要你知道，你并不是孤身一人。

爺爺奶奶知道你此刻或許并不這么認為。這一點兒也不好玩，不是嗎?就在不久前，一切看上去都很好，似乎沒任何問題;然而現(xiàn)在，一切似乎都崩潰了。我們真希望一切能像自己小時候受了傷被“親親”就沒事了那樣，但，讓人難過的是，寶貝，我們做不到。

我們想要你知道，這個時候?qū)τ谖覀儊碚f也很艱難?？吹侥阊劾锏耐纯嗪蛻岩?，我們感到很難過。當我們感覺到你在傷心，我們也會傷心。

無論出于什么原因，爸爸媽媽發(fā)現(xiàn)，他們無法繼續(xù)在一起生活了。你必須明白，爸爸媽媽仍深愛著你，即使他們之間出現(xiàn)了問題。

我們想要你明白幾件重要的事，希望這些事能幫你度過這段可怕的艱難時期。

我們想要告訴你的第一件事是:這不是你的錯!你瞧，每當出現(xiàn)離婚的情況，幾乎所有的孩子都會認為是他們做了一些事導致爸媽離婚。而我們想向你擔保——基本上都不是這么一回事!爸爸媽媽分開是因為他們的關(guān)系出了大問題。沒人會責怪你。如果你感到自責，即使是一點點的自責，也要讓我們知道。跟我們說，或是寫信給我們，我們將會成為你特別的朋友，傾聽你的心聲。

我們想要你知道的第二件事是:你很可能沒法補救。很多孩子想象著，也許只要自己能說對些什么或做對些什么，然后，神奇地，爸爸媽媽又能重新彼此相愛。我們很遺憾地告訴你，那也幾乎不起作用。有時，爸爸媽媽分開一段時間，各自療傷之后，他們確實又在一起生活了，但發(fā)生這種情況是因為他們找到了自己的理由去這樣做。

爺爺奶奶想告訴你的第三件事，也許也是最重要的一件事是:我們決不會和你決裂!當你需要我們時，我們將永遠守候在你身邊。有時，我們也許相隔很遠，但你可以打電話或?qū)懶沤o我們。我們會盡快給你回電話或回信。有任何事情，你都可以跟我們說，因為我們答應(yīng)你我們會盡力成為你最忠實的傾聽者。

你需要知道，我們不會偏袒你爸媽中的任何一方。我們只會站在你那邊。我們會成為你耐心的聆聽者，還將幫你找些有意義的事去做，并找些好途徑去消磨時間。我們會尋找樂趣，也會自己創(chuàng)造樂趣。

你也許會覺得自己將再也不會快樂起來，或者一切將再也不會好起來。我們能理解那些感受。但我們想要你知道一些我們學到的東西，因為我們活了這么久，看到的經(jīng)歷的都很多——你會再笑起來的，一切都會好起來。你會再笑起來，成長起來，再次感受到快樂。好事會發(fā)生。我們向你保證，你會和爸爸以及媽媽分別再度過很多美好的時光。雖然一切不會像過去那樣，但你的生活將會是快樂的。而那些包圍著你的愛——來自你爸媽、爺爺奶奶、外公外婆、家里的其他人，還有你所有的朋友——將會治愈你的傷口，幫你度過難關(guān)。

你能輕易地聯(lián)系上我們。我們在信封里附上了一張寫有我們地址、家里電話、手機號碼和電子郵箱地址的卡片。所以，無論你在哪里，你總能聯(lián)系上我們。有需要的話，你可以給我們打“對方付費電話”。我還在信封里放進了一疊寫著我們地址的郵資明信片。所以你總能寄張卡片給我們。另外，還有一疊已寫好郵寄地址的郵資信封，以備你有比較長的信要寫，或是有漂亮的畫要寄給我們。

寶貝，你不是孤身一人。即使你的爸爸媽媽將要分開，他們?nèi)詯壑?。而無論發(fā)生什么事，我們都將永遠愛著你。要記住:

我們決不會和你決裂。決不會。

愛你的，

爺爺奶奶