牙癢整蠱王

上聯(lián)：看背影急煞千軍萬(wàn)馬，下聯(lián)：轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)頭嚇退各路諸侯，橫批：我的媽呀!

The first line of a couplet on a scroll: looking at the view of back， a vast host of infantry and cavalry were irritated; The second line of the couplet: turning around the head， dukes and princes under different emperors were frightened to withdraw. The horizontal scroll: My God!

晨曦出現(xiàn)的第一縷陽(yáng)光是我對(duì)你深深的祝福，夕陽(yáng)收起的最后一抹嫣紅是我對(duì)你忠心的問(wèn)候：\"你好嗎，小傻瓜？\"

The first sunray in the morning is my deepest blessing to you; the last ray of the setting sun is my best greeting to you: \"How are you， little fool?\"

“親愛(ài)的，請(qǐng)你仍個(gè)硬幣問(wèn)上帝，我愛(ài)不愛(ài)你。如果是正面，那就代表我愛(ài)你，如果是反面，那……那……難道上帝也會(huì)錯(cuò)？”

\"My honey， toss a coin to ask the God whether I love you or not. Front side stands for yes， in case it is the reverse side， that...that...the God must have made a mistake.\"

噴飯短信園

老師：“如果我左手拿著7個(gè)蘋(píng)果，右手拿著8個(gè)蘋(píng)果，那么可以得出……”

同學(xué)：“好大一雙手?！?/p>

Teacher: \"If my left hand has seven apples， and my right hand has eight apples， you can deduce a conclusion from the facts that... \"

Student: \"A pair of great hand.\"

女：“完了，沒(méi)想到丘比特射中了我?！?/p>

男：“丘比特哪個(gè)學(xué)校的，告訴我，我去教訓(xùn)他，敢動(dòng)我女朋友?！?/p>

Girl: “Oh， it's unimaginable! Cupid has shot me！”

Boy: “Where does Cupid study ? Tell me. I'll teach him a lesson and see how dare he touch my gril.”

“你頭上的包是怎么回事？”“我看到大廈門(mén)口有個(gè)告示，因?yàn)槲医?，于是就湊過(guò)去看?！薄案媸旧险f(shuō)什么？”“小心：門(mén)向外開(kāi)！”

\"Why did you get a swelling on your head?\" \" I saw a notice on the building gate. Because I am near-sighted， I went close to it to read this notice.\" \"What did it say?\" \"Be careful: the gate is open outwards！\"

◆編輯：Cola