譯/陸玲

Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.

給一只狗買一件玩具，它會永遠都玩那個玩具；給一只貓買份禮物，它也就玩兒10分鐘的包裝紙。

Although cats are rather delicate creatures， and they are subject to a good many ailments， I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

盡管貓咪是相當脆弱的動物，很容易患各種病，可我從未聽說有哪只貓曾飽受失眠的折磨。

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

狗兒們擁有主人，而貓兒們則擁有伺候自己的全體員工。

Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.

貓啊狗啊都本能地知道它們主人睡醒的確切時間，于是它們會提前10分鐘把主人叫醒。

In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance， everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.

為了對自身價值持有真實客觀的認識，每個人都應該養(yǎng)只狗來崇拜自己，同時還要養(yǎng)只貓來忽視自己。

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

千萬別因為你的狗崇拜你就確信自己很了不起。

（摘自《英語學習》）