Ｊｏｋｅｓ?。幔睿洹。龋酰恚铮?/h1>
2008-09-28 07:40:58于瑩供稿
中學(xué)英語(yǔ)園地·教研版 2008年8期
于 瑩供稿
Taking a Taxi
An old lady was going to take a taxi.
“Driver，” she said，“I want you to take me to the station.”
“Yes，madam，” said the driver.
“And you must drive slowly and carefully. Dont go until the policeman lowers his arm. And，please，dont rush round the corners as the road is very wet.”
The driver was getting angry.
“All right，madam，” he said，“but if we do have an accident，what hospital would you like to be taken to?”
乘出租車
一位老太太要搭乘出租車。
“司機(jī)，”她說(shuō)道，“我要你送我去火車站。”
“好的，夫人?！彼緳C(jī)回答道。
“你必須開(kāi)慢點(diǎn)、小心點(diǎn)，等警察放下手臂再往前開(kāi)。還有，轉(zhuǎn)彎時(shí)請(qǐng)你不要開(kāi)得太快，因?yàn)槁贩浅窕?。?/p>
出租車司機(jī)生氣了。
“好了，夫人!”他說(shuō)，“如果我們真地發(fā)生事故，你希望被送往哪家醫(yī)院呢?”
Memory
Patient：Ive lost my memory.
Doctor：When did this happen?
Patient：When did what happen?
記憶力
患者：我失去記憶力了。
醫(yī)生：這情況是什么時(shí)候發(fā)生的?
患者：什么情況是什么時(shí)候發(fā)生的?
Only Mens Clothes
Judge：When you were committing the theft，did you not spare a thought for your wife and daughter?
Defendant：I did，Your Honor. But there were only mens clothes in the shop.
只有男裝
法官：你盜竊時(shí)就沒(méi)有替你的妻子和女兒想想嗎?
被告：想過(guò)，法官大人。但店里只有男裝，沒(méi)有女裝。
If I Were a Millionaire
The teacher asked his students to write an essay，telling what they would do if they had five million dollars.
Every student except little Tom began to write at once. Tom sat idle，twiddling his fingers and watching the flies on the ceiling.
“How is this，Tom?” asked the teacher. “Is this your essay? Every other student has written two sheets or more，while you have done nothing!”
“Well，” replied Tom，“thats what I would do if I were a millionaire!”
假如我是百萬(wàn)富翁
老師要學(xué)生寫一篇作文，談?wù)劶偃缱约河形灏偃f(wàn)美元，會(huì)干什么。
學(xué)生們馬上開(kāi)始寫起來(lái)，只有湯姆呆呆地坐在那里，捻弄著手指，看著天花板上的蒼蠅。
“湯姆，怎么回事?”老師問(wèn)，“這就是你的作文嗎?其他同學(xué)都寫了兩張紙，有的寫得還要多?？赡闶裁炊紱](méi)寫!”
“噢，”湯姆回答說(shuō)，“假如我是個(gè)百萬(wàn)富翁，這就是我要做的!”
Mother Didnt Tell Me
A little boy lost his way and went to ask the policeman by the road.
The policeman asked，“Sonny，where is your home?”
The boy replied，“My mother tells me to ask the policeman when I lose my way，but she does not tell me where I live.”
媽媽沒(méi)有告訴我
一個(gè)小孩迷了路，便去問(wèn)路邊的警察。
警察問(wèn)：“小家伙，你家住在哪里?”
男孩回答說(shuō)：“我媽媽只告訴我迷了路時(shí)，就去問(wèn)警察，但她不說(shuō)我家住在哪里?！?/p>
A Branch
A man was standing at a corner，with a hat in each hand，waiting for handouts. A passerby stopped and dropped a coin in one hat，then asked，“Whats the other hat for ?”
“Business has been so tremendous lately，” the man replied，“that I decided to open a branch.”
分店
一個(gè)人站在拐角處，兩手各拿一頂帽子，等待施舍。一個(gè)過(guò)路人停了下來(lái)，往一頂帽子里放了一個(gè)硬幣，然后問(wèn)道：“另一頂帽子用來(lái)做什么呢?”
“最近生意非常好，”那人回答道，“所以我決定開(kāi)一家分店。”
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于 瑩供稿
Taking a Taxi
An old lady was going to take a taxi.
“Driver，” she said，“I want you to take me to the station.”
“Yes，madam，” said the driver.
“And you must drive slowly and carefully. Dont go until the policeman lowers his arm. And，please，dont rush round the corners as the road is very wet.”
The driver was getting angry.
“All right，madam，” he said，“but if we do have an accident，what hospital would you like to be taken to?”
乘出租車
一位老太太要搭乘出租車。
“司機(jī)，”她說(shuō)道，“我要你送我去火車站。”
“好的，夫人?！彼緳C(jī)回答道。
“你必須開(kāi)慢點(diǎn)、小心點(diǎn)，等警察放下手臂再往前開(kāi)。還有，轉(zhuǎn)彎時(shí)請(qǐng)你不要開(kāi)得太快，因?yàn)槁贩浅窕?。?/p>
出租車司機(jī)生氣了。
“好了，夫人!”他說(shuō)，“如果我們真地發(fā)生事故，你希望被送往哪家醫(yī)院呢?”
Memory
Patient：Ive lost my memory.
Doctor：When did this happen?
Patient：When did what happen?
記憶力
患者：我失去記憶力了。
醫(yī)生：這情況是什么時(shí)候發(fā)生的?
患者：什么情況是什么時(shí)候發(fā)生的?
Only Mens Clothes
Judge：When you were committing the theft，did you not spare a thought for your wife and daughter?
Defendant：I did，Your Honor. But there were only mens clothes in the shop.
只有男裝
法官：你盜竊時(shí)就沒(méi)有替你的妻子和女兒想想嗎?
被告：想過(guò)，法官大人。但店里只有男裝，沒(méi)有女裝。
If I Were a Millionaire
The teacher asked his students to write an essay，telling what they would do if they had five million dollars.
Every student except little Tom began to write at once. Tom sat idle，twiddling his fingers and watching the flies on the ceiling.
“How is this，Tom?” asked the teacher. “Is this your essay? Every other student has written two sheets or more，while you have done nothing!”
“Well，” replied Tom，“thats what I would do if I were a millionaire!”
假如我是百萬(wàn)富翁
老師要學(xué)生寫一篇作文，談?wù)劶偃缱约河形灏偃f(wàn)美元，會(huì)干什么。
學(xué)生們馬上開(kāi)始寫起來(lái)，只有湯姆呆呆地坐在那里，捻弄著手指，看著天花板上的蒼蠅。
“湯姆，怎么回事?”老師問(wèn)，“這就是你的作文嗎?其他同學(xué)都寫了兩張紙，有的寫得還要多?？赡闶裁炊紱](méi)寫!”
“噢，”湯姆回答說(shuō)，“假如我是個(gè)百萬(wàn)富翁，這就是我要做的!”
Mother Didnt Tell Me
A little boy lost his way and went to ask the policeman by the road.
The policeman asked，“Sonny，where is your home?”
The boy replied，“My mother tells me to ask the policeman when I lose my way，but she does not tell me where I live.”
媽媽沒(méi)有告訴我
一個(gè)小孩迷了路，便去問(wèn)路邊的警察。
警察問(wèn)：“小家伙，你家住在哪里?”
男孩回答說(shuō)：“我媽媽只告訴我迷了路時(shí)，就去問(wèn)警察，但她不說(shuō)我家住在哪里?！?/p>
A Branch
A man was standing at a corner，with a hat in each hand，waiting for handouts. A passerby stopped and dropped a coin in one hat，then asked，“Whats the other hat for ?”
“Business has been so tremendous lately，” the man replied，“that I decided to open a branch.”
分店
一個(gè)人站在拐角處，兩手各拿一頂帽子，等待施舍。一個(gè)過(guò)路人停了下來(lái)，往一頂帽子里放了一個(gè)硬幣，然后問(wèn)道：“另一頂帽子用來(lái)做什么呢?”
“最近生意非常好，”那人回答道，“所以我決定開(kāi)一家分店。”
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