Every time I asked my parents for a drive to school， I would get the standard lecture: \"When I was your age. We didn't get drives to school. We had to walk two miles， barefoot(赤腳的)， in the snow， uphill both ways!\"

Listening to this was torture¹. And it got worse when I finally did get a ride， as I had to tolerate² futher criticisms of my“wimpy³” generation.

I now know my parents had to endure the same verbal treatment from their folks. Only it sounded more like: \"When I was your age， we didn't have wringer（絞擰機(jī)）washers. We had to beat our clothes against locks in the stream.\" And along with this knowledge comes the satisfaction of realizing that I shall be able to treat my children in the same manner.

I am already building up an arsenal(武庫) of admonitions⁴ tailor-made(特制的) for the next generation. Here are a few:

\"When I was your age， we didn't have VCRs(盒式磁帶錄像機(jī)).\" If we wanted to see a TV show， we had to be there when it was on. And if there was something good on the other channel， we only had one re- run the following summer to catch it.

\"We didn't have programmable telephones (程控話). Every time we wanted to phone someone， we had to dial. And if the line was busy， we would wear our fingers down to stumps(向…挑戰(zhàn)) redialing.

\"We didn't have video cameras. When we got back from vacation， we would have to mail our film away and get photos back weeks later.

\"We didn't have automated-teller machines (自動(dòng)取款機(jī)). If we needed money， we had to stand in line at the bank between 10 a.m. and 3:30 p.m.

\"We didn't have remote controls (搖控器). We actually had to get up and turn the dials.

\"We didn't have answering machines. We had to talk to each other. And if we were expecting a phone call， we would have to wait at home.

\"We didn't have digital watches. If we wanted to know what time it was， we had to judge the angles of the big hands and the little hands.

\"We didn't have snooze buttons(催醒鬧鐘的按鈕) on our alarm clocks. If we wanted another two minutes of sleep， we risked oversleeping and being two hours late for school.

\"We didn't have 21-gear (檔) mountain bikes. We had only two gears: one gear on the bike and the footgear⁵ we wore.

\"We didn't have CDs. If we wanted to listen to music， we would put on a big， round vinyl disc(塑料唱片) called a record.\"

I could go on， but you get the idea. We parents of today will have as much fun as our parents did. Who would have thought eight-track cassette tapes would one day become a source of pride?

注釋：

1．torture n．折磨，痛苦

2．tolerate vt．忍受，容忍

3．wlmpy n．漢堡牛排三明治

4．a(chǎn)dmonition n．警告，告誡

5．foot gear[總稱]鞋襪，在此是個(gè)雙關(guān)語，借用gear的雙重含義，起到幽默的作用。

每當(dāng)我要父母開車送我去學(xué)校時(shí)，準(zhǔn)會得到那套定規(guī)的教訓(xùn)：“我像你這么大的時(shí)候，我們?nèi)W(xué)?？蓻]有什么車送。我們只有光著腳在雪地里艱難地往返兩英里?！?/p>

聽這些話是種折磨。如果我最終搭上了車，情況更糟，因?yàn)槲也坏貌蝗淌芨y聽的批評，說什么我是“漢堡牛排三明治”的一代，軟弱無能。

現(xiàn)在我明白了，我的父母同樣不得不忍受來自他們父母的口頭教訓(xùn)，只不過這些話好像是：“我像你這么大的時(shí)候，我們沒絞干洗衣機(jī)，我們得在溪水中的巖石上捶洗衣服?！币虼宋腋吲d地懂得了，我也將能同樣地對待自己的子女。

我已經(jīng)逐步建立起了一個(gè)專門針對下一代的訓(xùn)戒武庫。以下便是其中兒條：

“我像你這么大的時(shí)候，我們沒有盒式錄像機(jī)。如果我們想看一個(gè)電視節(jié)目，就得準(zhǔn)時(shí)等在電視機(jī)的。如果別的頻道還有好看的節(jié)目，我們只能等明年夏天的重播了。

“我們沒有程控電話。每當(dāng)我們想打電話給某人時(shí)，只好撥號。如果線路繁忙，我們將不厭其煩地用手指重新?lián)芴枴?/p>

“我們沒有攝像機(jī)。我們度假返回時(shí)，不得不把我們的膠卷寄出去，幾周后才得到相片。”

“我們沒有自動(dòng)取款機(jī)。如果我們需要錢，就得在上午10點(diǎn)至下午3點(diǎn)30分之間去銀行排隊(duì)?！?/p>

“我們沒有遙控器。實(shí)際上我們只好起身去轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)頻道調(diào)節(jié)器?！?/p>

“我們沒有電話答錄機(jī)，只有相互對話。如果我們要等一個(gè)電話，我們就得待在家等?！?/p>

“我們沒有數(shù)字手表。如果我們想知道時(shí)間，只好判斷長針和短針的角度?！?/p>

“我們的鬧鐘沒有催醒按鈕。如果我們想再睡2分鐘，就要冒險(xiǎn)睡過頭，遲2個(gè)小時(shí)到校?！?/p>

“我們沒有21檔的山地車。我們只有兩檔：一檔在自行車上，另一檔在我們的腳上。”

“我們沒有光盤。如果我們想聽音樂，我們就放一種又大又圓的塑料唱片?！?/p>

我還可以繼續(xù)舉例，但你已明白這個(gè)意思了。今天我們這些為人父母者的做法像我們的父母當(dāng)初一樣可笑。誰會想到8軌盒式錄音帶有一天會成為驕傲的資本呢?