I never thought that my clock， my beautiful old clock would make the town laugh at me， but it did.

One day two strangers came in and sat down. \"Welcome to my hotel，\" I said and told them what they could have to eat. While they ate， I happily counted what they owed me. It was a lot of money. They were just finishing their coffee when they began to argue.

\"I tell you， James， it cannot be done，\" the younger man said. The other hit the table until my dishes rattled¹.

\"Anyone can do it.\" he shouted. \"Even this hotel owner could do it.\" Since they were talking about me， I went over to their table.

\"Could do what， gentlemen?\" I asked. The younger one did not look at me. \"I'll bet² 50 dollars， he cannot do it，\" he said in a quiet voice. \"Cannot do what， gentlemen?\" I asked again.

The older man smiled at me. \"Why，\" he said. \"My friend and I were looking at your fine clock over there.\"

\"Oh， a fine clock! A very old one，\" I said. \"My father brought it to this country.\"

\"We were especially looking at the slow steady swing³ of the pendulum⁴ as it counts the seconds，\" the younger one said， \"And my friend said it would be easy to stand in front of the clock for one hour， to stand without moving and say 'Here it comes， there it goes， ' as the clock's pendulum swings back and forth.\"

\"Why， that would be easy，\" I laughed， \"Well， I often stood and watched my clock for longer than an hour.\"

\"Would you like to bet on that?\" the young man said， looking at me seriously. \"I will pay you 50 dollars if you can do it; You pay me， if you cannot.\"

\"50 dollars?\" I asked. It seemed a lot of money for such an easy trick.

\"Yes，\" he answered. Then he looked around at the empty restaurant and said， \"If it is too much， we will bet on 25 dollars.\"

That did something to me. So， they thought I was too poor to be 50 dollars. \"I will bet 100 dollars! I cried， wishing I had bitten my tongue⁵ the minute the words were out. It was all the money I had. Without another word， he brought out 100 dollars and gave them to his friend.

\"Here， James，\" he said. \"You hold the money for us.\"

I gave James my money， too. He did not count it， but put it with the other money. \"He trusts me，\" I thought， a true gentleman. I decided to give them their dinner free， if I won the bet. \"There are the roles，\" the older man said， putting his gold watch on the table. \"You must stand there， looking at the clock for one hour. Every time the pendulum swings， you say， 'Here it comes， there it goes. ' You understand?\"

\"Yes，\" I answered smiling. I felt that the money was already in my pocket. \"I agree to that， too，\" the young one said， nodding his head. \"Very good.\" I said and went over to the clock. It hung on the wall above a shelf filled with my best dishes. I stood there with my back toward the men.

\"Begin now!\" ordered the older one.

\"Here it comes， there it goes ! Here it comes， there it goes !\" I started to say in a loud clear voice. While I spoke these words， I thought about many things. First， I thanked God for my fine wall clock. This old clock might help me get money for my wife， Sarah. Perhaps I could even buy a walking stick for myself. Yes， the 100 dollars would go quickly.

And so the minutes passed -- 7，16，28. Then I heard someone come in and close the door. I recognized the voice of my old friend Lazar.

\"Michalson!\" he cried. \"What is wrong? why are you standing there talking to a clock? Have you lost your mind?\"

The two strangers said nothing. This made me angry and I decided I would make them pay for their dinner.

Lazar began to pray. \"Dear God， help this poor man! Look， Michalson，\" he said gently. \"I will get your coat and take you outside for a walk. Fresh air might help you.\"

I kept saying \"Here it comes， there it goes!\"

\"Michalson，\" he said， his voice thick with emotion. \"Let me take you home to your wife， Sarah.\"

I heard Lazar come near me and I was afraid he would pull me outside. Then I would lose the 100 dollars. I got so worried， I took a dish and threw it over my shoulder at him. It missed.

\"He is getting violent，\" Lazar said. \"Michalson， listen to me. You can stand there and say anything you like. Just stay there one minute longer. Do not move. I will be right back. One minute.\" He rushed outside.

\"Here it comes， there it goes!\" I continued in my angriest voice. I wanted those two strangers to know how I felt about them. They should have explained our bet to Lazar. They certainly did not act like gentlemen. The minutes went by slowly， oh， so slowly. Then the door opened again. \"Hey Michelson!\" Someone yelled. After the next words I knew it was Nachman， the tailor.

\"What are you doing!\" Nachman is a fine tailor， but a very stupid man. When I did not answer， he ran out of the hotel.

In less than three minutes， he was back again with a crowd of people. They all talked at the same time.

\"He is sick in the mind，\" one said.

\"It is true，\" said another. \"But what can we do?\"

\"We must take him to a hospital，\" shouted others.

Then I was really angry. Forty seven minutes of my hour was gone and these fools might try to stop me. I took two more dishes and threw them over my head. This time， I did not miss. How could I in such a crowded place? Then suddenly， everything was quiet. I could hear someone slowly walking toward me. I waited until I thought he was close enough. Then I kicked out behind me. Poor Nachman， he yelled in pain.

\"Get a rope!\" he shouted. \"A rope! We must tie his arms and feet.\" Two of them ran off to fred one. I prayed they would not return till the hour was gone. After a minute， I heard the door open and shut again.

\"Let him alone， all of you!\" It was my old friend Lazar， his voice shaking with worry.

\"Here it comes， there it goes!\" I kept saying for the two strangers. The crowd became silent.

\"It must be a weakness in the brain.\" I heard Grandpa Ziedecker say. \"His aunt Devera died the same way. But she counted feathers， feathers for her wedding bed.\"

\"Here it comes， there it goes!\" I said， thinking Grandpa was a foolish old man. Nobody spoke. It was so quiet， the sound of the clock seemed loud. Fifty-eight minutes gone. Only two minutes and the 100 dollars would be mine. My voice was getting weak and my mouth was dry. Then， again I heard the door open， and the crying of a woman filled my ears. It was my wife， Sarah.

\"Oh， please， please，\" I prayed. \"Do not let her come near me.

I could not throw anything at my wife， not even one small dish. Ten seconds， three， two， one. I quickly turned around.

\"I won! I won!\" I shouted. \"Give me the 100 dollars!\"

Nobody moved. They all looked at me.

\"My 100 dollars!\" I yelled. \"Eh -- the two strangers. -- Where are they? What have you done with them?\"

\"Oh， a terrible sickness!\"sighed Grandpa Ziedecker and he slowly shook his head. \"There is no hope for him.\"

\"The two men!\" I cried wildly. \"They were sitting right over there， at that table!\"

I told the story many times before they'd believe me. And when they did， the sound of their laughter could be heard in the next town. So， that is why they call me Here-it-comes-there-it-goes Michalson. And that is why anyone who comes into my hotel always asks， \"Can you tell me what time it is?\" and goes away laughing hard.

Notes：

1．rattle vi. 格格地響

2．bet vt.;vi.(vi+on)用…打賭

3．swing vi.擺動(dòng)

4．pendulum n.(鐘的)擺墜

5．bite one's tongue (咬住舌頭)不言語(yǔ)

我萬(wàn)沒(méi)想到我的鐘，我這精美的古鐘，會(huì)引起全鎮(zhèn)的人來(lái)嘲笑我。但是真的就是這樣。

一天兩個(gè)陌生人走了進(jìn)來(lái)，隨即坐下。“歡迎光臨小店!”我說(shuō)，又告訴他們?cè)诒镜昴軌虺缘胶畏N食物。在他們大吃大嚼時(shí)，我喜滋滋地計(jì)算著他們?cè)摳段叶嗌馘X，那是不少的錢呢。就在他們快要喝完咖啡時(shí)，兩人爭(zhēng)論起來(lái)。

“我告訴你，詹姆斯，這事行不通，”那年輕人說(shuō)。另一個(gè)人啪啪敲桌子，弄得桌上的碟子格格直響。

“這誰(shuí)都能干，”他高聲說(shuō)，“就連店老板也能做到?！庇捎谒麄冋劦搅宋?，我便移步到他們桌前。

“能做到什么，先生們?”我問(wèn)道。那年輕人連看也不看我一眼?！拔乙?0美元打賭，他做不到?！彼Z(yǔ)氣平靜地說(shuō)道。

“做不到什么，先生們?”我再次詢問(wèn)。

那中年人沖我笑了笑。“唔，”他說(shuō)，“我的朋友和我都在端詳你那邊的那座精美的鐘。”

“哦，一座精美的鐘!是很古的一座，”我說(shuō)，“是我父親帶回國(guó)的。”

“我們特別愛(ài)看那擺墜，在報(bào)秒時(shí)，那種慢悠悠的平穩(wěn)的擺動(dòng)，”那年輕人說(shuō)，“而且我的朋友說(shuō)，一動(dòng)不動(dòng)地在鐘前站一小時(shí)，隨著擺墜的來(lái)回?cái)[動(dòng)，嘴里不停地說(shuō)出它擺過(guò)來(lái)，又?jǐn)[過(guò)去!是輕而易舉的事?！?/p>

“唔，那個(gè)容易，”我開(kāi)心地笑了，“咳，我常站在那兒看鐘，還超過(guò)一小時(shí)呢?！?/p>

“你愿意為這個(gè)打賭嗎?”那年輕人很認(rèn)真地看著我，說(shuō)，“如果你能做到，我愿付給你50美元；要是做不到，那你付給我。”

“50美元?”我問(wèn)道。對(duì)于這么容易的小把戲，似乎這錢還不少呢。

“是的，”他回答。然后他環(huán)視了這空蕩的餐館，說(shuō)，“錢要太多的話，我們就賭25美元?！?/p>

這對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，也算是筆巨款。所以他們認(rèn)為我太窮了，賭不起50美元。“我愿賭100美元，”我大喊一聲，可話一出口，又寧愿話沒(méi)說(shuō)出更好些。它是我手里全部的資產(chǎn)呢。二話沒(méi)說(shuō)，他掏出100元錢，交到他的朋友手里。

“喂，詹姆斯，”他說(shuō)，“你為我們保管這個(gè)錢?！?/p>

我也把我的錢交給了詹姆斯。他沒(méi)有數(shù)就把它和別的錢放在一起?！八湃挝?。”我心想算個(gè)真正的君子人。我決定如果我賭贏，我將請(qǐng)他們白吃一頓。“現(xiàn)在講講規(guī)章，”那中年人把他的金表放在桌上說(shuō)道，“你必須站在那兒，眼睛盯著那時(shí)鐘一小時(shí)，那擺墜每擺動(dòng)一次，你都要說(shuō)，‘他擺過(guò)來(lái)，又?jǐn)[過(guò)去!’你懂了嗎?”

“懂了，”我笑著回答。我覺(jué)得這筆錢已經(jīng)落人了我的腰包。

“我也同意這么干，”那年輕人點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭說(shuō)道。“很好，”我說(shuō)，便朝那時(shí)鐘走去。它是掛在碗架上方的墻上的，碗架里擺滿了我的細(xì)瓷餐碟。我站在那里，背朝著那兩個(gè)人。

“現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始！”那中年人發(fā)布命令道。

“它擺過(guò)來(lái)，又?jǐn)[過(guò)去!它擺過(guò)來(lái)，又?jǐn)[過(guò)去!”我開(kāi)始以響亮而清晰的聲音說(shuō)。在我說(shuō)這些話的同時(shí)，我心里想到許多。首先，我為了那精美的掛鐘而感謝上帝。這座古鐘將會(huì)幫我弄到些錢給我的妻子薩拉?；蛟S還能為我自己買根手杖，是的，那100美元將很快花光。

如此這般，許多分鐘飛走了——７，16，28分鐘之后我聽(tīng)見(jiàn)有人走進(jìn)屋，關(guān)上屋門。我辨出那是我的老友拉扎爾的聲音。

“米切爾森！”他喊道，“你怎么啦？你為什么站在那兒對(duì)著時(shí)鐘說(shuō)話？你喪失了神志了嗎？”

那兩個(gè)陌生人一言不發(fā)，這叫我惱火，我決定回頭叫他們自付飯錢。拉扎爾開(kāi)始祈禱了，“敬愛(ài)的主啊，幫幫這可憐的人吧!看，米切爾森，”他溫柔地說(shuō)，“我要取來(lái)你的外衣，帶你出去散散步，新鮮的空氣對(duì)你有益?！?/p>

我不停地說(shuō)道：“它擺過(guò)來(lái)，又?jǐn)[過(guò)去！”

“米切爾森”，他聲音里飽含激情地說(shuō)，“讓我把你帶回家，見(jiàn)你妻子薩拉去吧!”

我聽(tīng)見(jiàn)拉扎爾來(lái)到我近旁，我害怕他拉我出去。要那樣我就損失了那100美元，我有多么著急!于是我拿起一個(gè)碟子，從肩頭朝他擲去。沒(méi)有擊中。

“他的病厲害了，”拉扎爾說(shuō)，“米切爾森，你聽(tīng)我說(shuō)，你可以站在那兒，愛(ài)說(shuō)啥說(shuō)啥。只是你再多站一分鐘，別動(dòng)，我這就回來(lái)。一分鐘?！彼麤_了出去。

“它擺過(guò)來(lái)，又?jǐn)[過(guò)去!”我肺都?xì)庹ǖ乩^續(xù)說(shuō)。我要讓那兩個(gè)陌生人知道，我對(duì)他們有多失望。他們本該對(duì)拉扎爾說(shuō)明我們?cè)诖蛸€。他倆的表現(xiàn)真的不像君子人!每分鐘的時(shí)間緩慢地過(guò)去，哦，可真慢啊!這時(shí)門又開(kāi)了，“嘿，米切爾森!”有人喊道。聽(tīng)了他下面的話，我知道是納赫曼，那位裁縫。

“你在干什么？”納赫曼是裁縫好手，卻是個(gè)愚頑之人。我沒(méi)有答理他，他跑出了旅店。沒(méi)有三分鐘，他回來(lái)了，還帶來(lái)一大群人，七嘴八舌地吵成一團(tuán)。

“他頭腦有病，”一個(gè)人說(shuō)。

“說(shuō)得對(duì)，”另一個(gè)說(shuō)，“但是我們?cè)趺崔k?”

“我們必須送他去醫(yī)院，”其他人喊道。

這時(shí)我真的怒火上涌。我那一小時(shí)內(nèi)的47分鐘都度過(guò)了，而這班蠢貨將會(huì)試圖把我打斷。我抓起兩個(gè)碟子朝我腦后擲去。這一次，我沒(méi)有擊空。在這樣擁擠的地方我怎能擊不中?這時(shí)突然間一切聲音都靜了下來(lái)。我聽(tīng)到有人緩慢地朝我走來(lái)。我等待著，直到我覺(jué)得他離我夠近，我朝后踹了一下?？蓱z的納赫曼，他疼得直叫。

“找根繩子來(lái)，”他喊道，“一根繩子!我們必須捆上他的胳臂和腳?！逼渲杏袃蓚€(gè)人跑出去找繩子。我暗中祈禱：要等這一小時(shí)過(guò)去，他們?cè)倩貋?lái)。片刻后，我聽(tīng)到門又開(kāi)了，隨即又關(guān)上。

“別理他了，你們大家!”這還是我的朋友拉扎爾，他心中憂慮而致聲音發(fā)顫。

“它擺過(guò)來(lái)，又?jǐn)[過(guò)去!”我不停地說(shuō)給那兩個(gè)陌生人聽(tīng)，眾人都靜了下來(lái)。

“他腦子一定有毛病?！蔽衣?tīng)到齊德克爾爺爺說(shuō)，“他的姑姑德費(fèi)拉就是這樣死的。但是她數(shù)的是羽毛，新婚鴨絨被的羽毛。

“它擺過(guò)來(lái)，又?jǐn)[過(guò)去!”我嘴里念著，心里在想爺爺是個(gè)傻老頭。此刻無(wú)人說(shuō)話，萬(wàn)籟俱靜，時(shí)鐘的聲響仿佛大了起來(lái)。58分鐘過(guò)去了，僅兩分鐘，那100美元就到我手。我的嗓音變?nèi)趿?，嘴也干了。這時(shí)我又聽(tīng)到有人開(kāi)門，一個(gè)女人的哭喊聲灌進(jìn)我的耳中，這是我的妻子，薩拉。

“哦，千萬(wàn)千萬(wàn)，”我禱告著，“可別讓她走近我身邊?！?/p>

我不能往我妻子身上扔什么，連個(gè)小碟子也不能。十秒鐘了，三秒，兩秒，一秒，我急速轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)了身子。

“我贏了，我贏了!”我高聲喊叫，“給我那100美元!”

誰(shuí)都一動(dòng)不動(dòng)，大家都注視著我。

“我的100美元!”我狂叫，“啊——那兩個(gè)陌生人——他們哪兒去了?你們把他倆怎樣了?”

“哦，好厲害的病!”齊德克爾爺爺悲嘆道，他緩緩地?fù)u頭，“他呀，沒(méi)有希望了。”

“那兩個(gè)人!”我瘋狂地叫喊，“他們就坐在那兒，靠近桌子!”

我反反復(fù)復(fù)講述這件事的經(jīng)過(guò)，他們才算是相信。而相信之后，那哄堂大笑的聲音連鄰鎮(zhèn)都聽(tīng)得見(jiàn)。從此，他們就把我稱作“擺過(guò)來(lái)，擺過(guò)去的米切爾森。為此，以后誰(shuí)一來(lái)店，總要問(wèn)我：“你能告訴我此刻幾點(diǎn)鐘嗎?”說(shuō)罷，捧腹大笑而去。