Advice for theＰparents of Ｔeens

1.What You Do Matters Many parents mistak- enly believe that by the time children have become teenagers， there's nothing more a parent can do. Wrong. Studies clearly show that good parenting continues to help teenagers develop in healthy ways， stay out of trouble and do well in school.

2.You Can't Be Too loving Don't hold back when it comes to pouringt¹ on the praise and showing physical affection.There is no evidence that adolescents²are harmed by having parents who are unabashedly³ loving—as long as you don't embarrass⁴ them in front of their friends.

3. Stay Involved Many parents who were actively involved in their child's life during the early years withdraws when their child becomes a teenager. This is a mistake. It's just as important for you to be involved now—maybe even more so. Participate in school programs. Get to know your child's friends. Spend time together.

4. Adapt Your Parenting Many parenting strategies⁶that work at one age stop working at the next stage of development. As children get older， for example， their ability to reason improves dramatically⁷， and they will challenge you if what you are asking doesn't make sense.

5. Set Limits The most important thing children need from their parents is love，but a close second is structure. Even teenagers need rules and limits.Be firm but fair. Relax your rules bit by bit as your child demonstrates⁸ more maturity⁹. If he or she can't handle the freedom， tighten the reins¹⁰ and try again in a few months.

6. Foster IndependenceMany parentserroneously¹¹ equate¹² their teenager's drive for indepen dence with rebelliousness¹³， disobedience or disrespect. It's healthy for adolescents to push for autonomy¹⁴. Give your children the psyehological¹⁵ space they need to learn to be self-reliant¹⁶， and resist the tempta- tion¹⁷ to micromanage.

7. Explain Your DecisionsGood parents have expectations， but in order for your teenager to live up to them， your rules and decisions have to be clear and appropriate¹⁸.As your child becomes more adept¹⁹ at reasoning， it's no longer good enough to say \"Because I said so.\"

1．家長(zhǎng)的作用不可小視許多家長(zhǎng)錯(cuò)誤地認(rèn)為，孩子長(zhǎng)到十幾歲，家長(zhǎng)就無(wú)能為力了。這是不對(duì)的。研究表明，家長(zhǎng)繼續(xù)給予適當(dāng)管教能幫助青少年健康成長(zhǎng)、遠(yuǎn)離麻煩并在學(xué)校表現(xiàn)出眾。

2．對(duì)孩子關(guān)愛(ài)有加，并不為過(guò)在需要贊美孩子并給他們愛(ài)撫的時(shí)候不要不好意思。沒(méi)有證據(jù)表明慈愛(ài)的家長(zhǎng)會(huì)使青少年受到傷害——只要你不在他們朋友面前令他們尷尬就行了。

3．參與孩子的生活許多在孩子小時(shí)候積極參與他們生活的家長(zhǎng)等孩子長(zhǎng)到十幾歲時(shí)就躲開(kāi)了。這是不對(duì)的，這個(gè)階段家長(zhǎng)參與孩子的生活同樣重要，甚至更重要。應(yīng)該參加孩子學(xué)校的活動(dòng)，認(rèn)識(shí)孩子的朋友，花一些時(shí)間陪孩子。

4．調(diào)整教育方式在教育孩子方面，許多在某個(gè)年齡段好用的辦法到下一個(gè)成長(zhǎng)階段就不好用了。比如，隨著孩子一天天長(zhǎng)大，他們的推理能力迅速提高，如果你的要求沒(méi)有道理，他們就會(huì)提出質(zhì)疑。

5．適當(dāng)?shù)募s束孩子最需要從父母那里得到的東西是愛(ài)，僅次于愛(ài)的則是條理性：十幾歲的孩子也需要規(guī)矩和約束。對(duì)他們的要求要嚴(yán)格，但也得公平，當(dāng)孩子表現(xiàn)得更加成熟時(shí)，你可以一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)放寬那些約束。如果孩子不能適當(dāng)?shù)匕盐者@種自由，那就收緊“韁繩”，過(guò)幾個(gè)月再放松試試。

6．鼓勵(lì)獨(dú)立自主許多家長(zhǎng)錯(cuò)誤地把青少年對(duì)獨(dú)立的渴望等同于叛逆、不服從和無(wú)禮。事實(shí)上，孩子爭(zhēng)取自主是一種健康的表現(xiàn)。給孩子一定的心理空間讓他們學(xué)習(xí)自我依賴(lài)，父母要克制事事都想插手的沖動(dòng)。

7．解釋你的決定優(yōu)秀的父母對(duì)孩子都有較高的期望；但是為了讓孩子達(dá)到這些期望，你的規(guī)矩和決定必須明確、適當(dāng)。當(dāng)孩子的推理能力越來(lái)越強(qiáng)時(shí)，僅僅告訴孩子“我這么說(shuō)了，你就必須這么做”就不夠了。

注釋?zhuān)?/p>

1．pour vi．涌流，傾瀉 2．a(chǎn)dolescentn．(尤指16歲以下的）青少年

3．unabashedadj. 不加掩飾的 4．embarrass vt.使窘，使尷尬

5．withdraw vi. 撤退，撤離6．strategy n.策略，對(duì)策

7. dramaticallyadv. 顯著地8．demonstrate vt．顯示，表露

9．maturity n．成熟 10．rein n．[常作~s]韁繩

11．erroneous adj．錯(cuò)誤的，不正確的

12．equatevt．等同13．rebelliousness n．難以控制，造反

14．a(chǎn)utonomy n.自由，自主權(quán) 15．psychologicaladj．心理的，精神的

16．reliantadj. 依賴(lài)印，依靠的17．temptationn. 引誘，誘惑

18．a(chǎn)ppropriateadj．適合的，恰當(dāng)?shù)?19．a(chǎn)dept adj．熟練的，擅長(zhǎng)的