譙麗

【問題導(dǎo)讀】

近幾年的高考英語讀后續(xù)寫試題都是故事類文本。故事類文本的特點(diǎn)就是記人和敘事融為一體，用人物描寫故事，用故事襯托人物。這類文本對(duì)故事中主要人物的思想感情和性格特點(diǎn)進(jìn)行描述或有所暗示，還揭示了故事蘊(yùn)含的意義。厘清人物關(guān)系和抓住人物特征，可以幫助我們?cè)诶m(xù)寫中準(zhǔn)確把握人物角色和關(guān)系，確定文本主題，鋪設(shè)故事情節(jié)。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

讀后續(xù)寫中，我們可以通過分析人物的細(xì)節(jié)描寫來“讀懂”人物。我們可以關(guān)注人物的所看、所說、所做、所聞、所想和所感。人物的語言能夠體現(xiàn)人物的出身、教養(yǎng)、經(jīng)歷和性格；人物的所做通常是其思想和性格的表現(xiàn)；而人物的所想、所感可以表現(xiàn)人物的喜、怒、哀、樂。抓住人物的語言、動(dòng)作、情感描寫，我們就可以讀懂人物，厘清文本，從而進(jìn)行合理的情節(jié)預(yù)設(shè)和故事續(xù)寫。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

It was somewhere between spring and summer， and my mom and I were drivingthrough the countryside. Back then， I was 13 years old， and always felt unhappy with Mom.But little did I know that this trip was going to be a special one.

A pot of flowers sat in the back seat， whose heavenly scent filled the car.

Suddenly， in the middle of nowhere， my mom pulled over.“ What are you doing？” Icried， fearing that the car had broken down and we’d be stuck there， so far from home. Butthat wasn’t the case. My mom hopped out of the car， grabbing the flowers from the backseat.“ It’ll just be a minute，” she called back through the open windows.

My eyes impatiently skimmed the edge of the road before settling on a little signshowing that it was a nursing home. I looked back to the building， somewhat annoyed， asmy mom reappeared， empty?handed.

Before she started the car， curiosity drove me to ask，“ Do you know someone there？”She shook her head.“ Then what did you do with the flowers？” She smiled slightly，“ I gavethem to the receptionist.”“ What？” She laughed at my confusion.“ I told the receptionist togive the flowers to whoever needs them， especially those who haven’t gotten any in a while.”

I kept silent for a moment. Not long after we continued our driving， I spoke again，“Did you leave your name？” To this she answered instantly，“ No. Leaving flowers there forsomeone who will appreciate them makes me feel good， which is enough of a thank you forme.”

Suddenly， still thinking about Mom’s deeds， I heard something burst loudly. It was ourcar that broke down！ Nothing could be worse， because neither my mom nor I understoodhow to repair it， and we didn’t know where the garage was. It also seemed impossible towait for any passer?by， since we had seen so few along the way.注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1：

We were worried about what could be done._____________________________________________

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Paragraph 2：

As we drove along， a flower shop came into sight on the road.________________________

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一、原文的語篇要素

二、原文主題

本文中，13歲的“我”對(duì)媽媽有諸多的不滿和誤解，但在一次旅途中，“我”看到媽媽匿名送花給養(yǎng)老院，也是這次旅程讓“我”明白媽媽是多么善良和值得尊敬。故事的主題：親子關(guān)系與友善。

三、原文的情節(jié)脈絡(luò)發(fā)展

四、原文情節(jié)中“我”的情感變化

五、分析人物性格

六、構(gòu)思情節(jié)發(fā)展

根據(jù)故事的主題、情節(jié)、人物情感和性格的分析，原文呈現(xiàn)了故事的“起因—經(jīng)過”部分：處于青春期的“我”對(duì)媽媽有諸多的不理解和不滿。有一次在旅途中，看到媽媽匿名給養(yǎng)老院送花，“我”感到很驚訝，也很困惑。續(xù)寫的兩段分別是故事的“發(fā)展（行動(dòng)）—沖突—解決”部分：“我們”的車壞了，誰會(huì)來幫“我們”修車呢？（行動(dòng)）—再次啟程，經(jīng)過花店的時(shí)候，“我”會(huì)做什么呢？（行動(dòng)）—為什么會(huì)這么做呢？（沖突解決）

續(xù)寫第一段展開語言和動(dòng)作描寫細(xì)節(jié)時(shí)，可以嘗試回答以下問題并考慮多種可能性：

（1）How did I feel when our car broke down？

（2）Was our car repaired？

（3）Who helped us repair the car？

根據(jù)以上問題，續(xù)寫第一段的具體情節(jié)可以這樣安排：車壞了后，“我”的心情；養(yǎng)老院的接待人員遇到“我們”，幫“我們”修車；“我們”之間的互動(dòng)。

續(xù)寫第二段展開細(xì)節(jié)描寫時(shí)，可以嘗試回答以下問題并考慮多種可能性：

（1）Seeing the flower shop， what did I do？

（2）Did I buy some flowers？

（3）Why did I buy flowers？

根據(jù)以上問題，續(xù)寫第二段的具體情節(jié)可以這樣安排：再次啟程，“我們”經(jīng)過一家花店；“我”讓媽媽停車，“我”走進(jìn)花店；“我”買了一束花送給媽媽，這緩和了“我”和媽媽之間的關(guān)系。

參考范文

Paragraph 1：

We were worried about what could be done. Under the hot burning sun， I felt that I wassuddenly thrown into a world of hopelessness. I scratched my head and walked back andforth hopelessly. All of a sudden， one man with his hands waving at Mom came into ourview.“ He is the receptionist from the nursing home，” Mom explained to me.“ Why are youhere？” Mom asked excitedly.“ I just intended to thank you for your flowers.” What amazedme most was that he was a retired garage man. How lucky we were！ As a consequence， hehad our car repaired in a short while.

Paragraph 2：

As we drove along， a flower shop came into sight on the road. I paced quickly into theflower shop， where a bunch of flowers glowing red in full bloom caught my eyes. Havingwitnessed the effect of my mothers kindness， I decided to send Mom the sweet flowers.Soon， the heavenly scent filled the car again. With tears streaming down her face， herflushed face was shining with excitement. Through this trip， I discovered that I actually feltproud of her. Looking back to that day， I was always grateful for the lesson the trip taughtme for having such a great mother.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

It was Tamika’s turn to tell her class where she went this summer. She stood up proudly.

“This summer I went to Bradley，” Tamika announced.“ There is a big market there.My mom bought a painting， and I got second?hand inline skates. We had a great timethere.”

“That’s not a trip，” Jeremy whispered loudly to his partner.“ It’s only half an hourfrom here. My dad and I often go to Bradley to buy tools for his repair shop.”

“Jeremy， no interrupting，” said Miss Snowden， their teacher.“ And Bradley has a finemarket. I’m glad that Tamika can tell us about it. Go ahead， Tamika.” Miss Snowdensmiled warmly at her， encouraging her to continue.

But Tamika didn’t feel proud of her family’s trip to Bradley anymore and she just feltembarrassed. Tamika dropped her head and said in a low voice that she was finished， and

then hurried back to her desk. She hoped that the other kids didn’t notice her face turningred.

Tamika listened as Peter talked about his cruise to Jamaica. She heard about Mary’strip across the Atlantic to Ireland. She heard about John’s horseback ride through theGrand Canyon. It seemed as if everyone but her had taken a big trip over the summer.“ Inever get to go anywhere，” Tamika thought to herself. A sense of sadness clouded her thewhole day.

After school， things got worse. One of the wheels on Tamika’s skates came loose. Nowshe couldn’t even skate. Sitting on the sidewalk， Tamika tried to fix her wheel but did notknow how. Then Miss Snowden happened to pass by. She walked up with a smile on herface， asking，“ You look unhappy， Tamika. Why are you sitting here？” Tamika lowered herhead， tears building up inside her eyes.“ Want to talk about it？” Miss Snowden askedkindly. Tamika nodded， trying to avoid Miss Snowden’s eyes. Bending down， Miss Snowdensaid in a whisper，“ You know， Tamika， we don’t always have to travel far to learn any?thing.” Tamika looked up and seemed to understand what Miss Snowden meant.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1：

At this moment， Jeremy was walking by and saw them.________________________________

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Paragraph 2：

“I can fix it，” Jeremy said with confidence.____________________________________________

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【評(píng)價(jià)導(dǎo)思】

1. 你能否正確地分析文章中人物的性格？你是從哪些方面進(jìn)行分析的呢？

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2. 續(xù)寫這篇文章的時(shí)候，你能否根據(jù)人物的性格設(shè)計(jì)比較合理的續(xù)寫情節(jié)？

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3. 你在續(xù)寫時(shí)是否使用了一些高級(jí)句式、詞匯等潤色文章？

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