Everyone talks about the advantages of taking time out for“simple pleasures”.
The idea is that we will be happier if we often engage in inexpensive, easy-to-do activities.
However, the problem for many of us is that we don’t know what makes us happy.When I was in college, my mother gave me some wise advice. She said,“Before you get married and live with another person, you need to spend some time living by yourself. You need to get to know yourself.”
So I did exactly that. For almost two years, I lived by myself, I found that I loved spending hours looking around in bookstores. I also enjoyed spending an afternoon just walking around the city.And every so often,I needed moments of pure silence.
But,of course,we all don’t enjoy the same things.
A simple pleasure for me would be to spend an hour reading a book in my backyard.However,that same activity would not give my husband any pleasure.We are all so different.
Sometimes,we already know what makes us happy.However,as life gets busier and we get older,we often put aside our simple pleasures.
For example, I had to give up playing the flute when I started working and had family responsibilities. Playing my flute seemed selfish when no one else in my family could join me.But three years ago,I returned to playing the flute.I regret having ever stopped.
Simple pleasures are neither simple nor common. Our simple pleasures are a reflection of who we are. There are different activities that bring each of us joy.Each of us has to find out what it is that feeds our souls.
That isn’t always easy in a world in which we have to consider other people’s needs and opinions as well as our own. But enjoying simple pleasures is something that each of us deserves.
Think of it as your right, and say to yourself,“Today, I’m going to discover what my simple pleasures are.”
What can we learn from the writer’s experience of playing the flute?
What do you think of love in your daily life?Can you give us some examples about love around you? What are you going to do to show your love to others? Please share your ideas about the topic“l(fā)ove around me”.
原文呈現(xiàn)
In my daily life, I think that no matter where I am, there’s always a lot of love around me. such as love from families,friends,strangers,and so on.
第一段應(yīng)圍繞“What do you think of love in your daily life?”展開,而小作者回答的是“Where does love come from?”,存在偏題情況。
Love is very common, for it can be a hand for helping the elderly,a talk for comforting others, or a decision for being a volunteer.Love is everywhere.
第二段是給出“some examples about love around you”,而小作者給的例子過于抽象,不夠具體。在寫這類例子時(shí),需要慎重思考是用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)還是一般過去時(shí)。
I’m going to show my love by giving my seat to others. I hope love can continue to pass on.
第三段,小作者表示自己將做一些事情來傳遞愛,時(shí)態(tài)正確,但過于簡單。全文字?jǐn)?shù)偏少。
升格展示
As everybody knows, love makes the world go around. There is plenty of love around me.My parents love me.They take good care of me.My teachers and classmates love me too. They try their best to help me when I’m in trouble. I feel very happy and thankful when I get love from them.
In the last term, my English was poor and I failed my English exam, I was very sad and lost confidence in English. But my English teacher patiently comforted me and encouraged me. She used her spare time to help me with my English. Last week, I got the first place in the English exam. I am very grateful to my English teacher. It is her love that has influenced me and restored my confidence. I’m going to study harder to make her proud and lend a helping hand to my classmates when they need me.
Love is like the sun,it makes me feel warm and happy.Love is not only around me but also around everyone. I believe that our world will become more beautiful and peaceful if everyone loves each other.
綜合點(diǎn)評
這是一篇話題作文,以“l(fā)ove around me”展開描寫。同學(xué)們要注意按照題目中所給要求寫作,注意語言的連貫性和合理性。升格后的文章圍繞三個(gè)問題展開,文章句式靈活,描述脈絡(luò)清晰,表達(dá)自然流暢。此外,小作者的時(shí)態(tài)運(yùn)用恰當(dāng),文中增加了一些細(xì)節(jié)描寫,更具說服力。