張小萌

We all care about what others think of us and want to be liked.

The basics of getting people to like you are obvious-be nice be considerate be a decent human being. However there are also many smaller more discreet things you can do that can have a huge effect on how others per

我們都在乎別人怎么看待我們 都渴望被別人喜歡。

讓別人喜歡上你的基本方法很明顯——要和藹、考慮周到、正派。然而你還能做一些更細(xì)小、更簡(jiǎn)單的事 這會(huì)對(duì)其他人對(duì)你的印象造成巨大影響。

ceive you.

1.Use a Person's Name

Let's face itwe're all huge narcissists and we all love the sound of our own name. Learn names and make use of them. Always use an individual's name in a conversation. This tried-and-true technique is sure to increase your fan base.

2.Smile-With Feeling！

When someone offers a huge grin brimming with authenticity happiness rubs off on its receivers. There have been many studies showing how mood whether positive or negative spreads between individuals. If your positive attitude brightens someone else's day that person will love you for it.

3.Listen （Not Just With Your Ears） It's probably a no-brainer that people will like you more if you listen to them. This starts with ignoring your Twitter feed while out to dinner with friends but goes a lot further than that.You can show you're listening to someone through body language （positioning your body to face someone and mirroring his or her stance） eye contact （giving plenty of it） and verbal confirmation （we'll talk more about this next）.

4.Use Verbal Confirmation

Most psychology books refer to this technique as “active listening”. Active listening revolves around demonstrating your listening skills by repeating segments of what an individual has said to you.

In speech this kind of dialogue can actually go a long way to make people like you more. It makes the other individual feel as though you

1.叫對(duì)方的名字

我們要面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)—我們都很自戀 喜歡聽(tīng)別人叫自己的名字 問(wèn)問(wèn)別人的名字并且用名字稱(chēng)呼他們 和別人聊天時(shí)要經(jīng)常提到對(duì)方的名字。這個(gè)行之有效的技巧一定會(huì)為你贏得眾多粉絲。

2.微笑—要發(fā)自?xún)?nèi)心！

當(dāng)有人真心實(shí)意地微笑時(shí) 幸福會(huì)感染對(duì)方。曾有很多研究表明無(wú)論是積極還是消極的情緒都會(huì)在人與人之間傳遞。如果你的積極態(tài)度讓別人一天都感到幸福 他也會(huì)因此愛(ài)上你。

3.傾聽(tīng)（不只是用耳朵）

如果你聆聽(tīng)別人的傾訴 他們就會(huì)更喜歡你 這件事可能很好理解。你可以從跟朋友出去吃飯時(shí)不看“推特”做起 但你需要做的還有很多。你可以用肢體語(yǔ)言（身體要面向?qū)Ψ侥７聦?duì)方的姿勢(shì)）、眼神交流（這個(gè)要有很多）和言語(yǔ)上的確認(rèn)（我們接下來(lái)要多聊聊這件事）來(lái)表明你在聽(tīng)對(duì)方說(shuō)話(huà)。

4.言語(yǔ)確認(rèn)

大多數(shù)心理學(xué)書(shū)籍把這個(gè)稱(chēng)為“積極傾聽(tīng)”。積極傾聽(tīng)圍繞的是通過(guò)重復(fù)對(duì)方的一部分話(huà)來(lái)證明你的傾聽(tīng)技巧。

在實(shí)際對(duì)話(huà)中這種對(duì)話(huà)能繼續(xù)下去并使人們更喜歡你。這會(huì)使對(duì)方感覺(jué)你真的很投入 此外 人們喜歡聽(tīng)到他們的話(huà)被附

really are paying attention. Plus people love to hear their own words echoed back at them as it pats their egos a bit.

5.Conversation Recall：Prove You're Paying Attention

To really show someone you've been paying attention try bringing up a topic that the person mentioned earlier. Did your co-worker talk about working with his son on a science fair project last week？ Follow up and ask how it went. They don't have to be big life-changing events. In fact sometimes it says more that you can recall and show interest in even the small happenings in another person's life.

6. Sincere Compliments and Plentiful Praise

As noted again by the famous self-improvement expert Dale Carnegie individuals crave authentic appreciation. This is very different from empty flattery which most people are adept at detecting. No one likes a brown-nose and most people don't particularly love being pandered to. What people really want is sincere appreciation-to be recognized and appreciated for their efforts.

7.Handle Criticism With Tact

While you want to be generous with your praise be stingy with your criticism. People have delicate egos and even a slight word of condemnation can wound someone's pride. If someone makes an error don't call that person out in front of a group. Consider praising before and after a criticism.

Another strategy for diplomatically dispensing corrections is to begin by discussing your own mistakes before digging into some

和 這能提高他們的自信。

5.對(duì)話(huà)回想：證明你在注意聽(tīng)

為了真正表明你在注意聽(tīng) 你可以試著提出對(duì)方之前提過(guò)的話(huà)題。你的同事談?wù)撋现芎退麅鹤右黄饏⒓涌茖W(xué)展覽了？你可以接著這個(gè)話(huà)題問(wèn)問(wèn)他展覽怎么樣。他們說(shuō)的可能都不是改善生活的大事 其實(shí)有時(shí)你能回憶起他們說(shuō)的話(huà)、甚至對(duì)對(duì)方生活里的小事都感興趣才更有說(shuō)服力。

6.真誠(chéng)的贊美和各種稱(chēng)贊

著名的自我提高方面的專(zhuān)家戴爾·卡內(nèi)基再次表明每個(gè)人都渴望真誠(chéng)的欣賞。這和空洞的奉承有很大區(qū)別 大部分人都容易發(fā)覺(jué)。誰(shuí)都不喜歡拍馬屁 大部分人尤其不喜歡被人迎合。人們真正想要的是真誠(chéng)的欣賞——他們的努力被認(rèn)可被贊賞。

7.批評(píng)要委婉

雖然贊揚(yáng)時(shí)不該吝嗇 但批評(píng)別人時(shí)要注意。人們的自尊心都很脆弱 即使一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)指責(zé)都會(huì)傷害到人的自尊。如果有人犯錯(cuò)誤了 不要當(dāng)著一群人的面說(shuō)出來(lái)。你可以考慮在批評(píng)前后都稱(chēng)贊對(duì)方。

另外一個(gè)委婉糾正別人的方法就是先說(shuō)說(shuō)自己的錯(cuò)誤 然后再深究別人的錯(cuò)誤。你的最終目的就是要委婉地批評(píng) 真有必要

one else's errors. Ultimately aim to be always gentle with criticism and only offer it when it's truly needed.

8. Avoid Issuing Orders-Ask Questions Instead

No one enjoys being bossed around. So what do you do when you need something done？ The truth is that you can get the same result from asking a question as you can by giving an order. The outcome may be the same but the individual's feeling and attitude can vary greatly depending on your approach.

9.Be a Real Person Not a Robot

People like to see character and authenticity. Try to be confident but respectful. Some cooperation experts suggest stepping toward a person and bending slightly forward when you're introduced in a gesture of a bow. These kinds of gestures can go a long way toward making people think more highly of you.

10. Become an Expert in Storytelling People love a good story and great stories require sophisticated storytellers. Storytelling is an art form that requires understanding of language and pacing. Master the fine oral tradition of storytelling and people will flock to you like you're The Bard.

11.Physical touch

This one's a bit tricky and I hesitate to even mention it because obviously it needs to be done in a certain manner. However it has been shown that very subtle physical touch makes individuals feel more connected to you. A great example is gently touching someone's forearm （with yourleft hand） while shaking hands （with your right hand） it's a great

時(shí)才給予指正。

8.避免發(fā)號(hào)施令—用問(wèn)題來(lái)代替

沒(méi)有人喜歡被別人發(fā)號(hào)施令 所以你需要讓別人做點(diǎn)事時(shí)該怎么辦呢？其實(shí)你可以用問(wèn)題來(lái)代替命令也能得到同樣的效果。結(jié)果是一樣的 但你采取的方法不同 對(duì)方的感受和態(tài)度就會(huì)不同。

9.做一個(gè)真正的人 不做機(jī)器人

人們喜歡看到個(gè)性和真實(shí)的一面 努力表現(xiàn)得自信但有禮貌。一些合作專(zhuān)家建議你朝一個(gè)人走去 把你介紹給別人時(shí)你要微微俯身 做出鞠躬的姿勢(shì)。這些姿勢(shì)都有助于別人對(duì)你作出更高評(píng)價(jià)。

10.善于講故事

人們都喜歡好故事 好故事也要有擅長(zhǎng)的人來(lái)講。講故事是一門(mén)藝術(shù) 需要對(duì)語(yǔ)言的理解并注意語(yǔ)速。掌握這種好的口述故事方法 人們就會(huì)聚集在你身邊奉你為詩(shī)人。

11.身體接觸

這一條有點(diǎn)不好辦 我猶豫要不要提 因?yàn)槟阈枰⒁夥绞?。然?有研究表明極其細(xì)微的身體接觸會(huì)使對(duì)方感覺(jué)跟你更親密。一個(gè)很好的例子就是（用右手）握手時(shí) （用你的左手）輕輕觸碰對(duì)方的前臂——這個(gè)方法很適用于聊天結(jié)束時(shí) 但不適用于所有人 如果你不習(xí)慣也沒(méi)關(guān)系。

way to finish up a conversation. Not everyone will feel comfortable with this strategy and if it's not for you that's fine.

12.Ask for advice

Asking someone for advice is somewhat surprisingly a great strategy for getting people to like you. Asking for advice shows that you value the other individual's opinion and demonstrates respect. Everyone likes to feel needed and important. When you make someone feel better about himself or herself that person will most certainly end up liking you for it.

13.Avoid the clichés

Let's face it-most of us don't like boring people. Instead we like the unusual the uniquesometimes even the bizarre. One great example of situations in which it's important to avoid clichés is in interviews. Rather than parroting the “nice to meet you"s at the conclusion of an interview add some kind of variation to make you memorable even in a tiny way. Try something like “I've really enjoyed talking with you today". You don't have to reinvent the wheel-just be yourself.

14.Ask questions

Asking other people questionsabout their lives their interests their passions-is a surefire way to get brownie points in their friendship books. People are egocentric-they love to talk about themselves. If you're asking questions and getting people to talk about themselves they'll leave the conversation thinking you're the coolest. Even if the conversation didn't really give the other person a reason to like you he or she will think better of you subconsciously just for indulging this or her ego.

12.征求意見(jiàn)

有點(diǎn)意外吧 向別人征求意見(jiàn)很容易讓別人喜歡你。征求意見(jiàn)表明你看重他們的想法也能顯示你的尊重。每個(gè)人都喜歡被需要以及他們很重要的感覺(jué) 你讓別人自我感覺(jué)更好了 他最終也會(huì)因此喜歡你的。

13.避免老生常談

我們要面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)—大多數(shù)人都不喜歡無(wú)聊的人。相反 我們喜歡不尋常的獨(dú)特的人—有時(shí)甚至怪異的我們都喜歡。一個(gè)很好的例子就是在面試中這點(diǎn)很重要 不要鸚鵡學(xué)舌般地在面試結(jié)束時(shí)說(shuō)“很高興見(jiàn)到你?！边@一類(lèi)的話(huà) 你可以變換一種說(shuō)法來(lái)使別人記住你 即使有一點(diǎn)改變都行。試試這樣說(shuō)“今天和你聊天真的很開(kāi)心。”你不需要重復(fù) 做好你自己就行。

14.問(wèn)問(wèn)題

問(wèn)別人一些關(guān)于他們生活、興趣或愛(ài)好的問(wèn)題是贏得友誼屢試不爽的方法。人們都以自我為中心—他們喜歡討論自己。如果你問(wèn)問(wèn)題 讓他們談?wù)撽P(guān)于自己的事 聊完天的時(shí)候他們會(huì)覺(jué)著你真好。即使對(duì)話(huà)內(nèi)容真的沒(méi)法讓對(duì)方喜歡上你 但就因?yàn)槌两谶@種自我價(jià)值感里 他或她在潛意識(shí)里也會(huì)對(duì)你印象更好。