沈蘭霞

1. Life is not fair

Life conspires to consistently bring unexpected problems.I can either choose to accept this and work through it or I can fight， ignore and live an average life.

2. Fight your instinct

This is the tool that made our ancestors survival possible.Your brain is responsible for detecting negative signs and signs of danger so that you can flee.This is what made our ancestors survival possible. Unfortunately， we inherited this instinct and it activates everytime we try something new.

3. Make friends with your fear

There is no magic cure to fear.Fear will never dissappear， and what sets out the extraordinary from the ordinary is their ability to act despite that awful fear.

4.As long as you are nice， things usually go well

90% of people can’t reject a kind person.Emerson once said“the whole world loves a lover”.Try it. It’s so difficult for people to reject you when you’re all goody and seem so harmless.

5. Most people want to connect

The truth is that people are more open to connect than you think.There are a lot of people around you who want to connect but are just scared as you are.

6. You can’t please everyone

The thing is that no matter how sweet， funny， smart， awful or whatever kind of person you are， 90% of the world will ignore you， some of the rest will love you and the rest will hate you.So， You’re free to be weird.As the saying goes—those who matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.

7. There is no universal confidence

True confidence comes from practicing and mastering an act.Social skill is just a skill like any other and all I have to do to become a pro is practice.

1.生活是不公平的

生活總會(huì)用各種方式給你帶來(lái)意想不到的問(wèn)題。我可以選擇接受現(xiàn)狀，然后想辦法解決它；或者，我也可以掙扎、無(wú)視，然后過(guò)著平庸的一生。

2.戰(zhàn)勝你的本能

（膽怯）是我們祖先的生存工具。你的大腦會(huì)偵查周遭的負(fù)面信息和危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)，讓你可以逃跑。這使我們祖先得以幸存。但不幸的是，我們把這個(gè)本能繼承了下來(lái)，并且每次嘗試新東西的時(shí)候都會(huì)激活它。

3.與恐懼做朋友

世上沒(méi)有治愈恐懼的靈藥?？謶钟肋h(yuǎn)不會(huì)消失，而“卓越的人”與“普通人”的區(qū)別就是他們能頂著巨大的恐懼采取行動(dòng)。

4.只要你為人友善，事情通常都很順利

90%的人都無(wú)法拒絕一個(gè)友善的人。艾默生曾經(jīng)說(shuō)：“全世界都會(huì)愛(ài)上一個(gè)懂得愛(ài)的人?！痹囋嚢伞．?dāng)你表現(xiàn)出由內(nèi)至外的友善、并且沒(méi)有任何攻擊性的時(shí)候，人們很難拒絕你。

5.其實(shí)大部分人是希望和人交流的

事實(shí)是，大家其實(shí)比你想的更愿意與人交流。你身邊有很多人和你一樣渴望與人建立關(guān)系，而且也和你一樣害怕。

6.你沒(méi)有辦法取悅所有人

事實(shí)是，不管你多么貼心、有趣、機(jī)智、威嚴(yán)或怎樣，世界上90%的人其實(shí)是看不見你的。剩下的那10%當(dāng)中，有一部分會(huì)喜愛(ài)你，而剩下的人則會(huì)討厭你。所以，你有權(quán)保持特立獨(dú)行。正如俗語(yǔ)所說(shuō)：那些對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)重要的人，不會(huì)介意；那些介意的人，對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)不重要。

7.沒(méi)有人在所有地方都自信

真正的自信源自練習(xí)與熟練。社交技巧就和其他所有技巧一樣，如果你想成為達(dá)人，你需要做的只有“練習(xí)，練習(xí)，再練習(xí)”。