(BUT YOU PROBABLY WON’T LIKE THEM)

Dear Ayi,I’m a Tiger,and this is my year! I’ll be super lucky in 2022,right?

Tommy the Tiger

You 虎 (hǔ,tiger) people,so 自大 (zìdà,self-important) and盲目樂觀 (mángmù lèguān,blindly optimistic)! Haven’t you ever heard of the phrase “物極必反 (wùjí bìfǎn,things turn in the opposite direction when they reach an extreme)?”O(jiān)n the contrary,your 本命年 (běnmìngnián,zodiac year)is a 坎兒 (kǎnr,hurdle).You’ll feel that 諸事不順 (zhūshì búshù,nothing goes smoothly) in your life.The promotion you wished for? 沒門兒 (Méiménr,No way)! Don’t put your money in the stock market;you will only 破財 (pòcái,lose money).Luckily,I can help you 轉運 (zhuǎnyùn,turn your luck around):just order some red socks and redunderwear from my 直播間 (zhíbōjiān,livestreaming account) for very reasonable prices—a charitable side business of mine to spread 吉祥(jíxiáng,auspiciousness).With them,you’ll 逢兇化吉 (féngxiōng huàjí,turn calamities into blessings) in any situation!

Got questions for our Agony Ayi? Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com

I’m so excited about the Winter Olympics! Do you follow the Games?

Wanda Wang

Of course! As a 老北京 (lǎo Běijīng,old Beijinger),I am an expert in winter sports.That’s why I have to ask,what the hell is 冰壺 (bīnghú,curling)? Even I can 參賽 (cānsài,enter the competition) with my decades of experience in拖地 (tuōdì,mopping floors)! And why is 冬泳 (dōngyǒng,winter swimming),a proud 傳統(tǒng) (chuántǒng,tradition) of northern China,not a Winter Olympic sport?! Just head to moats and rivers in Beijing on a freezing day,and those tough 大爺大媽 (dàye dàmā,grandpa and grandma)swimmers will teach you the true 奧運精神 (àoyùn jīngshén,Olympic spirit)! While they’re at it,they should also add 冰車 (bīngchē,a wooden cart with blades on ice)and 冰尜 (bīnggá,spinning tops on ice with a whip) to the Games,both traditional northern Chinese sports,and call it the 中國兩項 (Zhōngguó liǎng xiàng,Chinese Biathlon)! Then I’ll really be excited to watch.