袁丹純

吉姆是個(gè)孤兒，從小在各種惡語的攻擊下長大，逐漸成長為一個(gè)自卑、可憐的小家伙。直到一次在路上幫助一個(gè)女裁縫撿東西，收到人生第一次稱贊后，他發(fā)生了改變……

A boy named Jim was an orphan and the laughing stock of the whole town. He was twelve years old， slim and undersized. He never remembered having a kind word spoken to him in his whole life. He was accustomed to harsh words， suspicion and rebuffs（拒絕）， and as a result became an unconfident， pitiful little figure， dodging（躲避） people. The more he was laughed at， the more suspicious he became.

Jim only had one possession， and that was his dog， which was as much hated as his master by others. Out of habit， Jim talked to the dog with all the harsh， unkind words he had been talked to， which cut like a sword.

One day as Jim walked down the street， he saw a bundle slip （滑出） from a ladys overloaded arms in front of him. Jim sprang to her assistance， gathering up the bundle for her. “Thank you， dear. You are a nice little boy，” she said kindly， and went on her way after giving him a bright smile. At the sight of this， an amazing feeling passed over Jim. These were the first kind words he had ever heard in his whole twelve years of existence. He stood and stared after her. He knew that she was the busy dressmaker living in a small cottage. He watched her until she was out of sight， and then he whistled to the stream with his dog cheerfully.

He sat down on the bank of the stream and did some thinking. “Thank you， dear. You are a nice little boy，” he murmured to himself again and again， with an enormous grin spreading across his face. Then， an idea occurred to him. He turned to his dog， saying gently， “You are a nice little dog.” The effect on the little poor thing was electric（令人興奮的）. He pricked up（豎起） his ears， listening attentively. “Uh?huh！ Even a dog likes nice words，” thought Jim， so he continued， “Thank you for always being with me. ” Hearing this， the dog wagged its tail joyously.

[Language][Study]

Useful sentence patterns

1. He was twelve years old， slim and undersized.

分析：slim and undersized 為形容詞充當(dāng)狀語，表示主語的狀態(tài)，意為“又瘦又小”。

2. He never remembered having a kind word spoken to him in his whole life.

分析：have sth done意為“讓某事被做”，因此，have a kind word spoken to him表示“有人對(duì)他說過良言善語”。本句譯為“他不記得在他一生中有人曾對(duì)他說過任何一句良言善語”。

[Reading][Check]

閱讀上面的文章，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

注意：

1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為 150 左右;

2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1：

Then， Jim looked at his reflection in the stream and found some changes in him， too.

Paragraph 2：

Some years later， a decent gentleman got off a car， standing in front of the busy dressmakers cottage， followed by his dog.

二、情節(jié)構(gòu)思

基于原文本和續(xù)寫段落首句提供的信息，采用圍繞中心提問相關(guān)問題的方法，構(gòu)思要續(xù)? 寫的故事情節(jié)，一般分為四步。

第一步，根據(jù)已給出的文本判斷文章的立意。

文章給出的部分主要記敘的是：吉姆是個(gè)12歲的孤兒，從小在各種惡語的攻擊下長大，逐漸成長為一個(gè)自卑、可憐的小家伙。出于習(xí)慣，他對(duì)唯一陪伴的小狗也是口出惡言。直到一次在路上幫助一個(gè)女裁縫撿東西，收到人生第一次稱贊后，他發(fā)生了改變——開始贊美小狗。結(jié)合文章標(biāo)題“良言一句暖三冬”可推斷出本文的立意是“和善言語的重要性”。

第二步，根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續(xù)寫第一段應(yīng)包括什么內(nèi)容。

根據(jù)第二段的段首句“幾年后，吉姆已經(jīng)變成了得體的紳士，帶著他的小狗開車來到裁縫的小屋前?！笨芍m(xù)寫第一段要寫“吉姆因?yàn)槁牭椒Q贊后發(fā)生了巨大的變化，成為一個(gè)成功的紳士”的情節(jié)，這樣才能確保續(xù)寫的兩段是相銜接的。

第三步，圍繞續(xù)寫第一段所給出的段首句以及上面的分析進(jìn)行提問構(gòu)思：

（1）What changes did Jim find from his reflection？

（2）After leaving the stream， what would he do？

（3）How would people respond to his changes？

（4）How did Jim become successful because of kind words later？

第四步，圍繞續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句進(jìn)行提問構(gòu)思：

（1）What would Jim do when he met the dressmaker？

（2）What would Jim say when he met the dressmaker？

（3）How would the dressmaker respond？

三、潤色成篇

在續(xù)寫的過程中要注意情節(jié)連貫，各部分內(nèi)容相銜接，即：1.兩段的續(xù)寫與所給短文的銜接;2.每段的續(xù)寫與續(xù)寫段首句之間的銜接;3.兩段續(xù)寫之間的銜接。同時(shí)要注意語言風(fēng)格的一致和語法、句型以及所用詞的準(zhǔn)確性。比如，刻畫人物形象時(shí)運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)?shù)膭?dòng)詞使其栩栩如生;描寫人物心理活動(dòng)時(shí)使用心理獨(dú)白或者行為舉止使其細(xì)微深入。