廣東 袁丹純

吉姆是個(gè)孤兒，從小在各種惡語(yǔ)的攻擊下長(zhǎng)大，逐漸成長(zhǎng)為一個(gè)自卑、可憐的小家伙。直到一次在路上幫助一個(gè)女裁縫撿東西，收到人生第一次稱贊后，他發(fā)生了改變……

題材 體裁成長(zhǎng)故事 記敘文 344 ★★★文章詞數(shù) 難度建議用時(shí)6分鐘

A boy named Jim was an orphan and the laughing stock of the whole town. He was twelve years old, slim and undersized. He never remembered having a kind word spoken to him in his whole life. He was accustomed to harsh words, suspicion and rebuffs （拒絕）, and as a result became an unconfident, pitiful little figure, dodging（躲避） people. The more he was laughed at, the more suspicious he became.

Jim only had one possession, and that was his dog, which was as much hated as his master by others. Out of habit, Jim talked to the dog with all the harsh, unkind words he had been talked to, which cut like a sword.

One day as Jim walked down the street, he saw a bundle slip（滑出）from a lady's overloaded arms in front of him. Jim sprang to her assistance, gathering up the bundle for her. “Thank you, dear. You are a nice little boy,” she said kindly, and went on her way after giving him a bright smile. At the sight of this, an amazing feeling passed over Jim. These were the first kind words he had ever heard in his whole twelve years of existence. He stood and stared after her. He knew that she was the busy dressmaker living in a small cottage. He watched her until she was out of sight, and then he whistled to the stream with his dog cheerfully.

He sat down on the bank of the stream and did some thinking. “Thank you, dear. You are a nice little boy,” he murmured to himself again and again, with an enormous grin spreading across his face. Then, an idea occurred to him.He turned to his dog, saying gently, “You are a nice little dog.” The effect on the little poor thing was electric（令人興奮的）. He pricked up(豎起) his ears, listening attentively. “Uh-huh!Even a dog likes nice words,” thought Jim, so he continued, “Thank you for always being with me. ” Hearing this, the dog wagged its tail joyously.

Language Study

Useful sentence patterns

1. He was twelve years old, slim and undersized.

分析：slim and undersized 為形容詞充當(dāng)狀語(yǔ)，表示主語(yǔ)的狀態(tài)，意為“又瘦又小”。

2.He never remembered having a kind word spoken to him in his whole life.

分析：have sth done意為“讓某事被做”，因此，have a kind word spoken to him表示“有人對(duì)他說(shuō)過(guò)良言善語(yǔ)”。 本句譯為“他不記得在他一生中有人曾對(duì)他說(shuō)過(guò)任何一句良言善語(yǔ)”。

Reading Check

閱讀上面的文章，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。注意：

1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150 左右；

2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1:

Then, Jim looked at his reflection in the stream and found some changes in him,too.____

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Paragraph 2:

Some years later, a decent gentleman got off a car, standing in front of the busy dressmaker's cottage,followed by his dog.__________

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寫作導(dǎo)引

一、語(yǔ)篇研讀

要素 分析：所給短文的情境模式 發(fā)展：續(xù)寫短文的情境模式 說(shuō)明：如此構(gòu)思的理由Who Jim,his dog,the dressmaker Jim,his dog,the dressmaker What When Where Why Jim, who had been treated cruelly by others, received some kind words from a dressmaker for the first time in his life and came to change his view on life.The effect on Jim was enormous. So he began to say nice words to people around him, making him more popular and more confident.When he became successful, he returned to show his gratitude to the dressmaker for her kind words to him.When Jim was 12 years old Kind words have a positive effect on people.Be grateful for those who have helped you.In the town where Jim was living Some years later In the town; maybe later to another city;then back to the dressmaker's cottage Jim found that kind words have a positive effect on him and his dog.Kind words have a transforming power.

二、情節(jié)構(gòu)思

基于原文本和續(xù)寫段落首句提供的信息，采用圍繞中心提問(wèn)相關(guān)問(wèn)題的方法， 構(gòu)思要續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié)，一般分為四步。

第一步，根據(jù)已給出的文本判斷文章的立意。

文章給出的部分主要記敘的是： 吉姆是個(gè)12歲的孤兒，從小在各種惡語(yǔ)的攻擊下長(zhǎng)大，逐漸成長(zhǎng)為一個(gè)自卑、可憐的小家伙。 出于習(xí)慣，他對(duì)唯一陪伴的小狗也是口出惡言。 直到一次在路上幫助一個(gè)女裁縫撿東西， 收到人生第一次稱贊后，他發(fā)生了改變——開始贊美小狗。結(jié)合文章標(biāo)題“良言一句暖三冬”可推斷出本文的立意是“和善言語(yǔ)的重要性”。

第二步，根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續(xù)寫第一段應(yīng)包括什么內(nèi)容。

根據(jù)第二段的段首句“幾年后，吉姆已經(jīng)變成了得體的紳士， 帶著他的小狗開車來(lái)到裁縫的小屋前。”可知，續(xù)寫第一段要寫“吉姆因?yàn)槁牭椒Q贊后發(fā)生了巨大的變化，成為一個(gè)成功的紳士”的情節(jié)，這樣才能確保續(xù)寫的兩段是相銜接的。

第三步，圍繞續(xù)寫第一段所給出的段首句以及上面的分析進(jìn)行提問(wèn)構(gòu)思：

（1）What changes did Jim find from his reflection?

（2）After leaving the stream, what would he do?

（3）How would people respond to his changes?

（4）How did Jim become successful because of kind words later?

第四步，圍繞續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句進(jìn)行提問(wèn)構(gòu)思：

（1）What would Jim do when he met the dressmaker?

（2）What would Jim say when he met the dressmaker?

（3）How would the dressmaker respond?三、潤(rùn)色成篇

在續(xù)寫的過(guò)程中要注意情節(jié)連貫，各部分內(nèi)容相銜接，即：1.兩段的續(xù)寫與所給短文的銜接；2.每段的續(xù)寫與續(xù)寫段首句之間的銜接；

3.兩段續(xù)寫之間的銜接。 同時(shí)要注意語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格的一致和語(yǔ)法、句型以及所用詞的準(zhǔn)確性。 比如，刻畫人物形象時(shí)運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)?shù)膭?dòng)詞使其栩栩如生；描寫人物心理活動(dòng)時(shí)使用心理獨(dú)白或者行為舉止使其細(xì)微深入。