楊揚(yáng)

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A motorist got caught in one of those new radar traps. He had been driving home one night when the automatic camera identified his car as exceeding the speed limit. Soon after, he received a ticket in the mail, plus a picture of this vehicle with the date and speed recorded on it.

Duly impressed, he sent back the ticket, along with a photo of a $100 bill to pay the fine.

反應(yīng)

一個飛車手被新的雷達(dá)測速儀捕獲。那是他在一天晚上超速駕車回家時，被自動照像機(jī)攝下了他的汽車。不久，他便收到了一個裝有罰款單的信封，里面裝有他汽車的照片、超速的日期和速度。

他對這種方式的印象極為深刻，于是寄回了那張罰款單，并附上了一張一百元美金的照片作為罰金。

Home Alone

My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late, my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignored it, but the knocking continued. Frantic, she began to bark, softly at first, then louder and louder. Much to her relief, the knocking soon stopped.

The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect. “I came by last night,” he told me, “but I left when your wife barked at me!”

獨(dú)自在家

我妻子獨(dú)自在家時，總是不想讓別人知道家里沒有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子聽到有人敲門，她就沒理，但敲門的聲音總是不停，慌亂之中，她開始學(xué)狗叫。一開始她低聲地叫，隨后她的叫聲越來越大。敲門聲很快地停了，她這才松了口氣。

第二天，送報的小孩來我家收錢，那小孩告訴我：“我昨晚上就來了，你老婆老沖我學(xué)狗叫，我就走了?！?/p>

Peter Decides the Grade

One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter??s portrait for a class assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect. “The head is too big,” the professor explained. “The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous.”

The next day, the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one look at my brother. “Okay, A minus.” he said.

彼得的長相決定了分?jǐn)?shù)

我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索達(dá)大學(xué)上學(xué)時，有一個學(xué)期，他的一位學(xué)藝術(shù)的朋友問他是否可以用他做素描的模特作為課堂作業(yè)。彼得同意了。那位藝術(shù)生畫完了，就把肖像交給了老師。他只得了一個C-。

那位藝術(shù)生找到教授問為什么他的分?jǐn)?shù)這么低。教授告訴他肖像中的比例失調(diào)，教授說：“腦袋太大，肩太寬，腳也過于大了。”

第二天，那位藝術(shù)生帶彼得見教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并說：“好，可以得A-?！?/p>