Kristen Fisher 笪景行

The power of saying no can be simply life-changing. Whether you are a believer in this concept or not， it depends on the situations youve been involved in. For instance， some people who have been subjected to situations where they feel uncomfortable may have felt pressured to say “yes” in the first place. Sadly， this is become more common， although， more light is being shed on the “if I feel like staying home， then I will” with the Millennial2 generation.

說(shuō)“不”的力量完全可以改變生活。你是否相信這個(gè)說(shuō)法取決于你所處的環(huán)境。例如，有些經(jīng)歷過(guò)讓自己感到不舒服的情況的人，可能會(huì)對(duì)首先說(shuō)“好的”感到有壓力?？上В@種情況變得越來(lái)越普遍了，不過(guò)，千禧世代的“如果我想呆在家里，那么我會(huì)的”的看法也越來(lái)越明朗。

If you were to type into your search engine “saying no”， youll uncover around 5，360，000，000 results. Nearly all revolve around “gently saying no”. Its not that the human species doesnt want to interact （it may feel like that at times） but it comes down to “wanting to impress and pressure”. This happens in forms of peer pressure， family pressure， friends， etc. Eventually， the majority of us fit into the “people pleaser” category， we hate letting anyone down and intend on being the one friend/family/work member who is reliable enough to cover any function or need.

如果你在搜索引擎中搜索“說(shuō)‘不”，會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)大約有5，360，000，000個(gè)結(jié)果。幾乎所有的結(jié)果都圍繞著“溫柔地說(shuō)‘不”。這并不是說(shuō)人類不想相互交往（有時(shí)會(huì)有這種感覺(jué)），而是歸結(jié)為“想給人留下深刻印象并向人施壓”。這是以同齡人的壓力、家庭壓力、朋友等形式而發(fā)生的。最終，我們大多數(shù)人都屬于“討好者”，我們不喜歡讓任何人失望，并打算成為一個(gè)萬(wàn)能且可以滿足各種需要的、值得信賴的朋友/家人/工作伙伴。

Why do we feel the need to be a “people pleaser”

The psychology from being a “people pleaser” can stem from childhood or recent developments in your life. Lets take a look at the most possible attributes3：

·Noticing a friend who ends up receiving more recognition for being “overly reliable”.

·Suddenly having the feeling that if you dont say “yes” to something you may miss the opportunity.

…

為什么我們覺(jué)得有必要成為一個(gè)“討好者”

產(chǎn)生成為一個(gè)“討好者”的心理可能源于你的童年或最近的生活發(fā)展。讓我們看看最可能的原因：

·注意到一個(gè)朋友因?yàn)椤斑^(guò)于可靠”而得到更多的認(rèn)可。

·突然有一種感覺(jué)，如果你對(duì)某件事不說(shuō)“好的”，你可能會(huì)錯(cuò)過(guò)這個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)。

......

How to say no

Essentially by applying “no” to certain areas of your life create healthy boundaries. Setting the right boundaries in your relationships can lead to a healthier life and even lifestyle.

Some may be joking around when they say “Oh， you are just being a buzz kill” or “stop being a Debbie Downer”. This can ultimately paint a depressive portrait4 in our own minds. Do not feel bad for saying no. Whether you have prior commitments， do not allow another to force you towards a negative self-image.

Once you understand the power of saying no， building healthy boundaries， and understanding when to say yes...there will be fewer limitations.

Stand up for yourself and embrace how “no” can change your life for the better.

怎么說(shuō)“不”

從本質(zhì)上說(shuō)，在生活的某些領(lǐng)域說(shuō)“不”會(huì)創(chuàng)造健康的界限。而在人際關(guān)系中設(shè)定合適的界限，可以帶來(lái)更健康的生活，甚至生活方式。

有些人可能會(huì)開(kāi)玩笑說(shuō)：“哦，你真是個(gè)掃興的人?！被颉皠e再當(dāng)個(gè)掃興的人了?！边@最終會(huì)在我們的腦海中描繪出一幅壓抑的畫(huà)面。不要因?yàn)檎f(shuō)“不”而感到難受。無(wú)論你之前是否有承諾，都不要讓別人強(qiáng)迫你形成消極的自我感覺(jué)。

一旦你理解了說(shuō)“不”的力量，建立了健康的界限，并且理解了什么時(shí)候說(shuō)“好的”……你的限制就會(huì)減少。

要堅(jiān)持自我并信奉說(shuō)“不”能讓你的生活變得更好。