江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)九年級(jí)(2)班 劉權(quán)基
劉權(quán)基,來(lái)自江蘇省連云港市的陽(yáng)光男孩。他性格開(kāi)朗,思維活躍,愛(ài)好廣泛,學(xué)習(xí)成績(jī)優(yōu)異,曾四次獲得學(xué)校獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金。他酷愛(ài)英語(yǔ),曾三次獲得“江蘇省中學(xué)生英語(yǔ)風(fēng)采大賽”一等獎(jiǎng)。
Computers are becoming more and more useful in our daily life.It’s very important for us to learn how to use computers.Now,I’ll give you some ①advices about using computers.
First,the Internet is playing an important part in our life.On the Internet,we can learn news both at home and abroad.We can also send messages by e-mail,read all kinds of books and learn foreign languages by ourselves.②Except we can enjoy music,watch sports matches and play games.We can go shopping,book tickets for the trains or the p lanes and so on.In a word,the Internet has made our life m ore colorful.
Second,try not to waste much time on computer games.It’s bad for our eyes and we should spend more time③on studying.
Computers are very useful,if you use④it in a good way.
教師點(diǎn)評(píng):
本文采用了“總—分—總”的順序進(jìn)行寫(xiě)作,整篇文章條理清晰,語(yǔ)言流暢精練。首先,第一段概述了我們應(yīng)該學(xué)會(huì)使用電腦;然后,用兩個(gè)自然段從正反兩面說(shuō)明如何健康合理地使用電腦;最后,在文章的結(jié)尾處用一句話(huà)總結(jié)全文。
需完善的內(nèi)容:
①advices改為advice。advice是不可數(shù)名詞。
②Except改為Besides。except意為“(用于所言不包括的人或事物前)除……之外”,besides意為“除……之外(還)”。
③on改為in或直接去掉。spend...(in)doing sth.意為“花費(fèi)(時(shí)間或金錢(qián))做某事”。
④it改為them。代指上文中的復(fù)數(shù)可數(shù)名詞com puters,應(yīng)使用them。