宋笑梅

“有一天在課堂上，教授給我看中國(guó)明代山水畫(huà)，那些嶙峋奇特的山石，它們的造型狹長(zhǎng)而不規(guī)則，既奇怪又美，不像現(xiàn)實(shí)中的風(fēng)景。教授告訴我，這些山水確實(shí)是真實(shí)存在的風(fēng)景?！蹦鞘?0世紀(jì)80年代的事，Lois Conner還是耶魯大學(xué)的研究生，她當(dāng)時(shí)選修了中國(guó)明代山水畫(huà)。

在很年輕的時(shí)候，她就被這幅明代山水畫(huà)莫名地牽引著，之后選擇的藝術(shù)方向，具有了某種宿命般的價(jià)值跟意義。

Lois今年68歲，從她預(yù)感自己將要去中國(guó)，到真正來(lái)中國(guó)拍攝山水，正好35年。她有一個(gè)好聽(tīng)的中文名字：康蘭絲?！犊堤m絲中國(guó)攝影作品展》在杭州北山雙桂軒展出。

桂林·1984年

Lois的第一個(gè)中國(guó)坐標(biāo)是桂林。

明代山水畫(huà)對(duì)于Lois來(lái)說(shuō)仿佛來(lái)自另一個(gè)星球。教授告訴她，這些奇奇怪怪的山水就在中國(guó)的桂林。

“當(dāng)時(shí)班上一共8個(gè)學(xué)生，每一個(gè)同學(xué)都會(huì)中文，他們對(duì)中國(guó)藝術(shù)有著豐富的知識(shí)儲(chǔ)備，而我只是初學(xué)者，第一次上課有點(diǎn)害怕。我和教授說(shuō)可不可以不上這門(mén)課。教授鼓勵(lì)我說(shuō)，‘你是一個(gè)藝術(shù)家，對(duì)這個(gè)課題可以有不同的視角?！弊罱K她留下來(lái)完成了這些課程，之后像掉進(jìn)一個(gè)寶庫(kù)，繼續(xù)研究唐代、宋代、明代的手卷。她每天中午抽一個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)間學(xué)習(xí)中文，一周至少3次去博物館看原作。

這些中國(guó)山水的畫(huà)面牢牢地長(zhǎng)在Lois心里。之后在聯(lián)合國(guó)工作的她做了一份詳細(xì)的中國(guó)之行拍攝計(jì)劃，得到了古根海姆基金會(huì)的獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金。

1984年，她從香港輾轉(zhuǎn)來(lái)到桂林。桂林給Lois的感覺(jué)很不可思議，“桂林，顧名思義是桂樹(shù)的森林，桂樹(shù)每年開(kāi)花一次。我第一次抵達(dá)桂林，當(dāng)機(jī)艙門(mén)打開(kāi)，花的香氣撲面而來(lái)，我開(kāi)始尋找這些花，簡(jiǎn)直太神奇了！”

Lois第二次來(lái)陽(yáng)朔，終于見(jiàn)識(shí)了中國(guó)明代山水畫(huà)上的“山水”，果然如教授所說(shuō)，這些山水是真實(shí)存在的。

從那以后，在所有波瀾不驚的日子里，Lois扛著一臺(tái)70磅重的7×17英寸全畫(huà)幅相機(jī)奔波于中國(guó)的大江南北。她去燕園、西湖拍荷花，也去圓明園拍攝被雪覆蓋的殘缺拱門(mén)。

Lois在講自己的故事時(shí)穿插著中文，這和第一次在紐約見(jiàn)到她時(shí)相比，中文進(jìn)步太多。她笑言一回美國(guó)就會(huì)忘記。

“我今年68歲了，可是我的身體很好！”她舉起自己的手臂，看上去很強(qiáng)壯，一點(diǎn)都不像一個(gè)68歲的老人。

那個(gè)年代來(lái)中國(guó)的外國(guó)人很少，Lois說(shuō)，“在20世紀(jì)80年代，一個(gè)外國(guó)人來(lái)中國(guó)旅行非常難，買(mǎi)火車(chē)票難，找酒店也難！整個(gè)長(zhǎng)江一帶都很難找到合適外國(guó)人住的酒店?！?/p>

Lois的第一次中國(guó)之行，很夢(mèng)幻。

荷花·1988年

“1988年我在北大，開(kāi)始第一次嘗試拍攝荷花。但是到了1995年，我在杭州的時(shí)候，我對(duì)荷花徹底著迷了。”Lois說(shuō)。

整個(gè)西湖的角角落落，Lois不記得自己跑了多少遍。每年夏天一到，滿湖的荷花，無(wú)不茂盛得直逼到人臉前，Lois喜歡它們這樣放任的姿態(tài)。

1995年秋天，Lois又一次來(lái)到杭州，這次準(zhǔn)備在杭州待上一個(gè)月，想完成一系列荷花的拍攝，“當(dāng)時(shí)的天氣很糟糕，杭州幾乎天天都在下雨。由于陰雨天沒(méi)有光影對(duì)比，看不到荷花根莖部從哪里開(kāi)始，從哪里結(jié)束。”

一旦開(kāi)始工作，周?chē)渌麞|西都消失了！在等待的幾天里，Lois拿著相機(jī)在湖中觀看荷花看得入神時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)一個(gè)現(xiàn)象，“我看到它在湖中的反射，就像是荷花自己的影子。我感受到光影的流轉(zhuǎn)變幻，因?yàn)闆](méi)有明亮的陽(yáng)光，看起來(lái)反而像中國(guó)傳統(tǒng)書(shū)畫(huà)。這是神給我的禮物，我感覺(jué)自己學(xué)到了一種新的語(yǔ)言?！?/p>

《三角蓮花》就是在這種很不給力的陰天下拍攝的，然而又令她重新認(rèn)識(shí)荷花。觀者其實(shí)難以想象，在無(wú)數(shù)個(gè)起早摸黑的日子里，Lois曾苦心積慮地琢磨過(guò)光線、秩序甚至氣質(zhì)之間的種種牽連，還要和壞天氣作斗爭(zhēng)。整個(gè)過(guò)程，是挑釁亦是接受現(xiàn)實(shí)，是探索亦是與之共存，而最終出來(lái)的，卻是通透。

去年8月，Lois的媽媽過(guò)世，10月她來(lái)西湖和圓明園拍荷花。她長(zhǎng)時(shí)間凝視著荷花，竟從荷花里看到了媽媽。此刻天空映射著水面，她有點(diǎn)難過(guò)，想哭，“我一直坐在那里，想念媽媽?zhuān)也幌虢Y(jié)束?？梢宰龅氖虑樘嗔?，我的生命卻不夠長(zhǎng)?！?/p>

“我的情緒更傾向于思考，也可以借此梳理一下自己。”Lois看到荷花在四季光陰的長(zhǎng)河里生長(zhǎng)著、變化著，這讓她無(wú)比惆悵。

“我是一條恐龍，從拍攝到暗房，所有事都自己做。”Lois扯開(kāi)傷感的話題，“有時(shí)候上午出去拍，下午回暗房洗，發(fā)現(xiàn)問(wèn)題再回去重拍或補(bǔ)拍。我喜歡這種工作方式！”

樂(lè)山·1986年

看到《樂(lè)山大佛》是在上海韓楓藝術(shù)空間，遠(yuǎn)看它就是一幅宋代水墨畫(huà)。

據(jù)Lois講，1986年到四川樂(lè)山，“是件很意外的事，因?yàn)槲以臼且ダ_的，在路途中認(rèn)識(shí)了一個(gè)朋友，他要去樂(lè)山，我在中途和他一起坐巴士到了那里?！?/p>

“在樂(lè)山我遇到了一個(gè)老和尚，他講話的方式很像讀詩(shī)，他走到大佛下巴的位置開(kāi)始祈福。我走到佛的肩膀部位，這是最好的觀景地點(diǎn)，景色在我的眼前舒展開(kāi)來(lái)，我被它震撼，內(nèi)心澄凈。那一刻，我知道了我想拍攝的是什么樣的畫(huà)面。當(dāng)時(shí)天色就要暗下來(lái)了，我必須爭(zhēng)分奪秒，留心每個(gè)不容錯(cuò)過(guò)的細(xì)節(jié)。我很專(zhuān)注地通過(guò)鏡頭去看這些畫(huà)面，突然間，我耳邊傳來(lái)了僧人們集體誦讀發(fā)出的梵音……”

現(xiàn)在回想起來(lái)，拍攝的情形很危險(xiǎn)，“圍欄很矮，路很陡峭，但我顧慮不了那么多，我覺(jué)得我離佛陀非常近，這是他發(fā)出的聲音，仿佛他也在注視著我。那一刻，我完成了這幅作品?！?/p>

變化·2019年

在探訪中國(guó)的30年間，中國(guó)發(fā)生了翻天覆地的變化。作為親歷者，Lois的照片無(wú)意間記錄了中國(guó)工業(yè)化和現(xiàn)代化背景下的世事變遷。

Lois住在北京爛面胡同時(shí)，適逢北京大興土木，她拍攝正在建的建筑、維修時(shí)的建筑、被摧毀的建筑。其中的《中國(guó)銀行建造期間內(nèi)景》是北京首批新建筑地標(biāo)中的一座。約合40米的翼狀內(nèi)部結(jié)構(gòu)緊緊包裹在格狀腳手架中，遮蔽了天空。

Lois在中國(guó)有好多好朋友。在她紐約的工作室，收藏著他們年輕時(shí)的珍貴照片。不僅僅是友誼的記錄，也是通過(guò)攝影的方式把一個(gè)個(gè)面孔留存下來(lái)，呈現(xiàn)了不同時(shí)代人的命運(yùn)之錯(cuò)綜聯(lián)系。

只要Lois一來(lái)中國(guó)，和年輕時(shí)一樣，他們依然會(huì)在一起聚會(huì)吃飯，“我的中國(guó)朋友都特別喜歡吃，我也喜歡吃。中國(guó)的食物太豐富了，在中國(guó)旅行時(shí)，每個(gè)地區(qū)的食物都不一樣，甚至這個(gè)鎮(zhèn)和隔壁鎮(zhèn)的食物也不一樣。這很神奇！”

往事如煙。Lois說(shuō)桂林是她生命的一部分，杭州是她靈魂的一部分。

“我還想拍我所認(rèn)識(shí)的藝術(shù)家肖像系列。而拍荷花則是我一生的事。”

（本文圖片提供：康蘭絲）

“康蘭絲中國(guó)攝影作品展”

時(shí)間：2019年10月27日～2019年12月31日

地點(diǎn)：杭州北山雙桂軒

Lois Conner became curious about China when attending an art appreciation course. It was in the early 1980s and she was a student at Yale University. After learning from her professor that the rivers and mountains in the landscape paintings by ancient Chinese artists really existed， she knew she had to visit China and take a look.

There were only eight students in the course. The other seven could read and speak Chinese and had knowledge of Chinese culture. Lois Conner was a beginner. She was scared by the daunting course and asked timidly if she could back out. The professor encouraged her to stick to the bitter-sweet end： “You are an artist and you can gain a different perspective from this course.” She stayed. She studied artworks from the Chinese dynasties. After lunch she spent an hour studying Chinese. She looked at the original paintings at a museum at least three times per week. She hugged herself that she had stumbled into a treasure.

These ancient Chinese landscapes grew on her. After graduation she took a job at the United Nations. It was working at the UN that she submitted a detailed plan for taking a tour to China and photographing Chinas landscape to Guggenheim Foundation. She received a scholarship.

In 1984， she arrived in Guilin via Hong Kong. Guilin in Chinese refers to a sweet osmanthus forest. After stepping off the plane， she detected flower fragrance. She looked around to determine where the flowers were. It was an amazing experience. It was the second time in Guilin that she came face to face with mountains and rivers that looked exactly like what she had seen in paintings created by artists of the Ming Dynasty （1368-1644）.

Since then she has been photographing China for 35 years and going on. She uses a 7x 17-inch full frame camera， which weighs 70 pounds.

When Lois Conner tells me this story， she and I are sipping coffee at a terrace outside a coffee house on Nanshan Road in Hangzhou. At 68， she is now taking a special course at China Academy of Art. She uses Chinese now and t hen in telling her story. She speaks Chinese better than the last time I met her in New York. She says she forgets how to speak Chinese when she is in America. “I am now 68 and I am healthy.” She shows me her arms. She doesnt look like a woman of that age.

In the 1980s， a foreigner ran into a lot of difficulties traveling in China. It was hard to find a hotel. Even in 1997， she would have much trouble in finding a hotel for foreigners in the region along the Yangtze River.

“It was on the campus of Peking University in 1988 that I tried to photograph lotus flowers. In 1995， lotus flowers totally fascinated me，” recalls Lois Conner.

In 1995， she came to Hangzhou. She planned to stay for a month and take a series of lotus flower photos on the West Lake. The weather was lousy. It rained almost every day. There was no contrast of light and shade. She couldnt figure out where the lotus stem began and where it ended. She waited for a few days， studying lotuses. Then she noticed the reflection of lotus flowers. She was inspired by the reflections. Without bright sunlight， the lotus leaves and flowers looked like Chinese calligraphy. She thought it was a gift from heaven. The photographs she took that summer opened her eyes to the beauty of lotus flowers she had never thought she would see. Her mother passed away in August 2018. She came to photograph lotuses in Hangzhou and Beijing. One day she sat watching these lotuses and saw her mother in the flowers and the sky in the water. She was very sad. She missed her mother. “I dont want to think about end. I have too many things to do， but life isnt long enough，” she says.

Since 1995， she has visited the West Lake in Hangzhou many times. She has lost the count. Lotus flowers on the lake in the summer flourish furiously. She likes the capricious beauty of lotus flowers.

In the eye of Lois Conner， China has changed over the past 35 years. She has photographed the tremendous transformation. Some photos she took in Beijing show buildings under construction， buildings in refurbishment， and buildings that were coming down. She becomes sentimental when she talks about these changes though she says she understands cities keep changing all the time.

Lois Conner has many Chinese friends. In some old time photos she keeps at her studio in New York， these Chinese friends look young. These photos are more than a record of friendship. These young faces indicate time and change and life.

Whenever she comes back to China， she meets her old friends and has dinner with them. “My Chinese friends love food. So do I. China has abundant good food. I find that regional cuisines are different and sometimes the cuisine in one town is different from the cuisine in the next town.”

Lois Conner comments that Guilin is part of her life and that Hangzhou is part of her soul. She has a to-do list. She says she is going to photo what happens in the streets of New York when the general election comes around in 2020. She has lived in New York since 1971. And she has been taking photographs of New York since then. Another priority on her list is a series of portraits of artists she knows personally. She will continue to photograph lotus flowers. “This is my lifelong passion，” she says.