By Wentworth Miller

導讀:該如何控制自己的情緒？如何才能不總生氣？如何才能不總傷心？

Mark Manson,the author of“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”,explains how to better handle our emotions.Following is a transcript of the video.

Mark Manson:My name is Mark Manson.I am the New York Times best-selling author of“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.”

How do I control my emotions?How do I stop getting angry so often,or how do I stop being sad?And I think there’s a really important distinction to understand is that you can’t completely control your emotions.What you control is your reaction to your own emotions.And a lot of people don’t ever make that separation for what goes on with them.

Somebody in their family does something.They get really pissed off,and then they react very poorly.And instead of blaming their own behavior,they blame the emotion itself.

馬克·曼森，紐約時報暢銷書《重塑幸福》作者闡述了我們該如何控制情緒，以下是節(jié)目文本：

馬克·曼森：我叫馬克·曼森，是紐約時報暢銷書《重塑幸?！返淖髡?。

該如何控制自己的情緒？如何才能不總生氣？如何才能不總傷心？我認為，首先你必須認識到，情緒是沒有辦法被完全控制地。你能控制的是你對情緒的反應，不過，大部分人并不區(qū)分此兩者。

家里人有時候做了一些事情，會讓你特別生氣，然后你就會做出一些很糟糕的反應。你不會反思自己的行為，反而是責怪情緒本身。

關于情緒，最有意思的事情是，你越想控制它或者抑制它，它就會越來越強烈。你越想不要這么傷心，你會越傷心；你越想不那么焦躁，你會對更多的小事情，越來越抓狂。

And what’s interesting about emotions is that the more you try to control them or to bottle them up,the stronger they get.So,the more I try to stop being sad，the sadder I’m going to get.The more I try to stop being anxious， the more I’m going to freak out over a bunch of little things.

So,it’s very paradoxical,but the key is to actually just let go of trying to control the emotions.Just let them—it sounds super cliche—but flow through you.And then actually focus more on “What are the behaviors that you’re doing to react to however you feel?”

When you’re able to do that the result is that things actually become much simpler.Your emotions—they actually...they don’t go away,they don’t change.It’s just that they’re not as important as they used to be.It’s like “Oh,I’m angry right now.But I’m still doing the thing I want to do.” or “I’m sad right now.But I’m still living my life.I’m still accomplishing the things that I want to accomplish.” It’s getting this separation between your emotions and how you identify or justify you the things that you do in your life.

所以，這可以說十分矛盾，而解決問題的關鍵就是不要試圖控制情緒。這聽起來可能有些老套，你要做的就是讓情緒自然發(fā)展，你要做的事情是“專注于你該做些什么，來回應你所感覺到的”。

如果你能這么做，事情就會變得很簡單。你的情緒不會消散，也不會改變，它們只是不像以前那么重要了?！艾F(xiàn)在變成了這樣，我現(xiàn)在很生氣，但是，我仍然在做我該做的事情；我很悲傷，但我仍然正常生活?！边@就是你的情緒，和你如何規(guī)劃認同自己生活的區(qū)別。