By Edel Blake

It may never have crossed your mind before (or maybe it has), but there’s actually an historical explanation for almost every element of your engagement; from getting the ring to telling the world about your happy news.

Asking for your hand

[2] If you or your other half is a traditionalist at heart, you’ve probably agreed that the groom should ask the bride’s father for his blessing before‘officially’ popping the question to her.This dates back to when women weren’t exactly thought of as equal members of society and marriages weren’t really the romantic events they are now. Instead they were regarded as a contract between two families, and the bride was the key component since she had the responsibility of giving birth to the family’s next generation. The groom would approach his future father-in-law and ask for his permission to marry his daughter. If he refused (and they often did back then), then that was the end of the courtship1courtship求愛；追求。!

從戴上戒指那一刻到向眾人宣布喜訊，你可能從未想過（或許也曾想到）自己訂婚過程中的每一個元素其實都有史可稽。

牽起你的手

[2]如果你或你的另一半骨子里是傳統(tǒng)主義者，那你可能認同新郎只有在獲得新娘父親祝福后才能“正式”向她求婚。這個規(guī)矩可以追溯到很久以前，當時的女性并未真正被當作平等的社會成員，而且結(jié)婚也不如現(xiàn)在這般浪漫。相反，她們被當作兩個家庭間的契約，而新娘是契約中的要件，因為她肩負著為家族繁衍后代的責任。新郎會拜見他未來的岳父，請求他把女兒嫁給自己。如果女方父親拒絕（舊時他們往往如此），那就意味著這場戀情也得畫上句號。

The 3 month’s salary rule

[3] Get ready for a shock… there is no legitimate historical reason for this particular tradition. The market value of a diamond is in no way associated with anyone’s salary! It was all a massively successful marketing campaign dreamt up in 1936 by diamond sellers DeBeers,who wanted people to spend more on diamonds. They deftly managed to create a sense of luxury, rarity and prestige around the humble diamond, and that’s why they’re still so expensive to this day. They’re actually not that rare at all—there’s still many, many decades worth of supplies hidden in the earth. But don’t let that stop you from spending all your savings on something your other half will love forever.

Down on bended knee

[4] People don’t really get down on one knee for much these days, unless they’re tying their shoelaces. So why do we do it when we’re proposing marriage? It’s a tradition that dates back to the days of knighthood, chivalry and formal courtship (i.e. medieval times and beyond). Knights would get down on one knee in front of their lord as a display of respect, obedience, and loyalty. It was also a common occurrence in religious ceremonies, and in those days marriage and religion were intrinsically2intrinsically本質(zhì)地；固有地。linked.So when a courteous gentleman was proposing to his lady, pledging his allegiance3allegiance效忠。to her and declaring his undying love for her, getting down on one knee was the natural thing to do.

3個月薪水規(guī)則

[3]請不要大吃一驚……這個特殊的傳統(tǒng)并沒有正當合理的歷史依據(jù)。鉆石的市價無論如何都不會隨著人們收入的高低而發(fā)生變化！為了讓顧客能在鉆石上多掏錢，戴比爾斯鉆石公司于1936年創(chuàng)想出這個營銷活動，并大獲成功。他們巧妙地將原本平凡普通的鉆石打造出奢華、稀罕及尊貴的感覺，這也成為鉆石至今一直價格不菲的原因。不過鉆石其實根本就不稀少——地球上仍有著可供開采幾十年的鉆石儲量。但也別因此在買鉆戒時舍不得傾盡所有，你奉上的戒指將成為你另一半的此生摯愛。

屈膝跪地

[4]除了系鞋帶以外，現(xiàn)在的人都不怎么屈膝。那為什么我們在求婚時卻要這么做呢？這個傳統(tǒng)可以追溯到騎士精神、紳士風度以及正式求愛的盛行時期（即中世紀和再早之前）。騎士會在自己的領(lǐng)主面前單膝跪地以示尊敬、服從和忠心。單膝跪地的場面也常常出現(xiàn)在宗教儀式上，而在那個年代，婚姻和宗教密不可分。所以當一位謙謙紳士在向他心愛的姑娘求婚時，為了表達他對她不離不棄的決心以及天長地久的愛意，單膝跪地就是再自然不過的事了。

The engagement ring

[5] You can thank the Pope for that ring on your finger—yes, really. In 1215,Pope Innocent III4教皇英諾森三世，史上最具影響力的教皇之一。introduced a law stating that couples who wanted to marry had to observe a waiting period between agreeing to the marriage and actually going through with the legal and spiritual contract. During this waiting period,couples were ordered to wear a ring on their finger as a mark of their commitment to each other and their upcoming marriage. It was also at this time that marriages had to take place in a church in order to be ‘official’. Engagement rings then were very simple affairs and usually just made out of whatever metal was cheap. Precious metals were reserved for the elite members of society only.

The diamond

[6] … And that’s where the diamond comes in. In 1477, Archduke Maximilian of Austria belonged to one of the biggest ruling dynasties in Europe, the Habsburgs5哈布斯堡王朝，歐洲的一個重要王室家族，被廣為人知的是其家族成員在1452年至1740年期間擔任了所有正式推選的神圣羅馬帝國皇帝，以及曾是西班牙和奧地利帝國的統(tǒng)治者。王朝的名字來自于家族的所在地——瑞士阿爾高州的哈布斯堡城堡。. He set his sights on making Mary of Burgundy6勃艮第的瑪麗，勃艮第公國最后一個公爵大膽的查理（Charles the Bold）的獨生女。his wife, and to show his dedication to her, presented her with a ring with the letter ‘M’ spelled out in small flat pieces of diamond. At this point in history diamonds were extremely rare—the huge mines that we know today weren’t discovered for another 300 years.Apparently, the piece of jewellery cost so much that it put a large dent in his finances,which helped contribute to debt so big by the end of his life that even a decade’s worth of income from all of his lands wouldn’t have covered it!

訂婚戒指

[5]手上戴戒指的風俗恐怕是拜教皇所賜——千真萬確！1215年，教皇英諾森三世頒布一項法令聲明：二人若要結(jié)為夫婦，須經(jīng)歷等待期。該等待期始于承諾結(jié)婚之時，終于獲得法律性、宗教性契約之時。在等待期里，男女二人須各自戴上戒指，標志著對彼此和即將到來的婚姻的承諾。也正是從這個時候起，婚禮須在教堂舉行，以示“正式”。訂婚戒指在那時不過是稀松平常的物件，通常由廉價金屬制成。稀有金屬只為社會精英人士預留。

鉆石

[6]……接下來鉆石要登場了。1477年，奧地利大公馬克西米利安是哈布斯堡皇室的一員，哈布斯堡王朝曾是歐洲統(tǒng)治地域最廣的王朝之一。他打定主意要娶勃艮第的瑪麗為妻，為了表現(xiàn)他的深情，他向她獻上了一枚鑲有字母M的戒指，M由扁平的小鉆拼成。在當時的歷史條件下，鉆石極其稀少——距此300年后，人們才發(fā)現(xiàn)了如今眾所周知的巨大鉆石礦。顯然，這件稀世珍寶讓他死前債臺高筑，甚至其領(lǐng)地十年的全部收益都算上也還不清！

The ring finger

[7] Ever thought about why your engagement ring is supposed to be worn on the third finger of your left hand? It’s actually quite romantic compared to some of the other explanations in this list… The ancient Egyptians believed that the vein running through this finger leads directly to your heart. Either way, the Egyptians along with other ancient civilisations like the Greeks and Romans wore rings on this finger to symbolise their commitment to another person, be it a business partnership, love, or even slavery!

The engagement announcement

[8] Again, you can thank Pope Innocent for this one. At the same time as he introduced engagement rings, he also decreed that any couples intending to marry had to formally announce it.The idea was to give other people an opportunity to intervene if the marriage was incestuous7incestuous亂倫的。! It’s also where the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ moment in many a romantic comedy and in some church ceremonies comes from. A far cry from8a far cry from和……大相徑庭。the Facebook announcement of modern times, isn’t it?!

無名指

[7]你有沒有想過為何你的訂婚戒指要戴在左手的無名指上？有種說法比起本文對其他傳統(tǒng)的解釋更為浪漫……古埃及人認為流經(jīng)無名指的血管直通你的心臟。古埃及人和其他古希臘、古羅馬等文明古國的人民都在無名指上戴戒指來象征他們對他人的承諾，承諾的事項五花八門，有商業(yè)伙伴關(guān)系、戀愛關(guān)系，甚至還有主奴關(guān)系！

宣布訂婚

[8]現(xiàn)在，你又能再一次感謝教皇英諾森了。他在推行訂婚戒指的同時，也制定法律：任何想要結(jié)婚的男女都要正式地對外宣布。他的初衷是讓人們有機會阻止亂倫婚姻。在眾多愛情喜劇和一些教堂里時常聽到“有異議的請現(xiàn)在提出, 否則請永遠保持緘默”，出處就在于此。這是不是和當今在臉書上就能宣布的方式大相徑庭？！

And some lesser known traditions from around the world…

Leap Year Proposals: Every time a leap year comes around something unique happens in Ireland and Scotland. On ‘Leap Day’, the 29th of February, ladies in love take it upon themselves9take sth upon oneself 某人（主動）承擔某事。to get down on one knee and propose to their men, instead of the other way around. It’s always fun to turn traditions on their heads10turn sth on its head 完全改變（某物）。, but you’re still technically sticking with11stick with繼續(xù)忠于，繼續(xù)支持。a tradition with this one—just a different one! It’s a practice that’s been in place for centuries,and some lucky guy always makes the news in Ireland after a surprise proposal from his lady.

Kenyan Beads: In some Kenyan tribes, the man will send beads to the home of the woman he wants to marry.If she accepts, she’ll keep the beads and wear them. If her family agree with the marriage, they’ll add their own special ornament to the beads too. In tribes in other African countries such as Ghana,the groom’s uncle and mother will visit the bride’s house to propose marriage on his behalf!

一些世界各地鮮為人知的傳統(tǒng)……

女性求婚日：每逢閏年會在愛爾蘭和蘇格蘭發(fā)生一些特別的事。在2月29日“閏日”這天，戀愛中的女性會一反傳統(tǒng)，主動出擊，單膝下跪向男友求婚。顛覆傳統(tǒng)讓人倍感有趣，但從嚴格意義上來講，這算不上是離經(jīng)叛道——只不過換了一種方式踐行傳統(tǒng)！這個習俗已存續(xù)了數(shù)百年，有些幸運的男士往往會因為女友突然對自己求婚而登上愛爾蘭的新聞。

肯尼亞珠鏈：在一些肯尼亞部落里，男人會給心儀結(jié)婚對象的家里送珠鏈。如果她接受了，那么她會好好保管并戴上珠鏈。如果女方家庭同意這樁婚事，他們也會給珠鏈加上自家特殊的裝飾物。在其他一些非洲國家（如加納）的部落里，新郎的舅舅和母親會代表他前去女方家里求親。

Thong Mun12Thong Mun（泰國）金飾。: The tradition of Thong Mun in Thailand is a very important part of courting and marriage. It involves gifting the bride and her family with something made from 24 carat13carat開（黃金成色單位，純金為24開）。gold, usually jewellery but not always. It’s symbolic of the groom’s commitment and love, and is an integral part of the wedding ceremony too.

Arranged Marriages: In India and Pakistan, arranged marriages are still commonplace. This means that instead of the groom courting and then proposing to the bride, their families meet to determine if they would be a good match instead. In many cases it’s not half as bad as it sounds—the families will most likely be on very friendly terms and the bride and groom have often known each other for years beforehand.

Flash Mobs14flashmob快閃族。: In recent years it’s become a phenomenon in China and other Asian countries for grooms to go all out15go all out全力以赴。when popping the question.

金飾：在泰國，贈送金飾的傳統(tǒng)是求愛及結(jié)婚過程中非常重要的一環(huán)，包括贈與新娘及其家庭一些24開黃金制品，通常送的是首飾，但也并非家家如此。這種做法既象征著新郎的承諾與愛意，也是婚禮上必不可少的一道程序。

包辦婚姻：在印度和巴基斯坦，包辦婚姻非常普遍。包辦婚姻指新郎不必追求新娘進而向她求婚，而是僅憑雙方家長的會面商討，就決定二人是否適合結(jié)婚。不過很多案例表明，包辦婚姻并沒有聽上去那么糟糕——多數(shù)家庭基本上都能和睦相處，而且新郎新娘在婚前可能相識多年。

快閃族：這是近年來在中國和其他亞洲國家興起的一種風尚，新郎使出渾身解數(shù)來正式求婚。新郎們組織形形色色的快閃族在公眾場合進行表演

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Specifically, they organise all manner of flash mobs—usually in public—for their brides to enjoy. As the performance reaches its finale, the groom will emerge from hiding and get down on bended knee in front of his bride while everyone else cheers him on. ■來取悅他們的新娘。表演進入尾聲時，新郎會從包圍他的人群中現(xiàn)身，然后在眾人的歡呼鼓舞下在新娘面前單膝跪地示愛求婚。 □