陳傳光

Last Friday， our school holds① a sports meeting. I went to school earlier than usual. I took part in the Boys 100-metre race.

There were six boys in the group. At first， Zhang Hao， a boy from Class 3， ran the fastest. I tried my best but② caught up with him. We were neck and neck. The race was over， and I came out first. The PE teacher told me that I did well at③ the last few seconds. I did my best in the race and I will do my best in everything.

江蘇省連云港市贛榆區(qū)羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)七（3）班 張倩

點(diǎn)評(píng)

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

本文講述了作者參加體育比賽獲得第一名的經(jīng)歷?？少F之處在于，作者在體育比賽中獲得了啟示：做每件事都要盡力做好。整篇文章文字流暢、用詞得當(dāng)，是一篇不錯(cuò)的學(xué)生習(xí)作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①holds改為held。結(jié)合時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)Last Friday，此處應(yīng)使用一般過(guò)去式形式。

②but改為and。上下文之間是并列關(guān)系，不是轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系。

③at改為in。in搭配時(shí)間段，意為“在……時(shí)間里”。

3. 評(píng)分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語(yǔ)作文滿(mǎn)分25分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得23分。endprint