By Cai Zhizhong

Translation by Zhu Yaguang

12 Mysterious Roses

By Cai Zhizhong

Translation by Zhu Yaguang

I was born an introverted person, exactly as the famous writer Li Bihua once described in her literary work, “He looks unimaginably shy to me, as if he needs legal protection like those endangered animal species.” However, there is something that she doesn’t know. Although I look shy and dull on the outside, I am extremely confident and passionate on the inside.

A few years back, I was sharing an apartment with Li Longdong, my junior high school classmate,who was attending night school to study economics at Chinese Culture University and working at Aurora Corporation during the day.

It was a Saturday afternoon when Li Longdong was off duty, and he told me, “Today we got a new colleague named Li Ziding. She is incredibly pretty.”

I said, “Then you should go after her before she is taken.”

“No way, she has the same family name as me.”

“What’s the problem? I’ve seen a lot of couples with the same surname.”

“My grandma warned me against marrying someone like that.”

“Fine, then I’ll go after her,” I said.

“You’re such a shy person. How are you going to do that?”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t need to do it myself. A few tricks will help me win her over.”

When I was sixteen or seventeen, I shared a dorm with three other friends. At that time, I was aware of the fact that although women and men were both human beings, they were in fact two different species.

Unlike with a man, it is difficult to understand a woman. Women can never be judged from the standpoint of men and vice-versa.

At that time, we cartoonists never regarded our job as extraordinary. Whenever the laundromat had a new, beautiful countergirl, or the grocer had a new, pretty lady selling fruit, and one of us proclaimed we were pursuing the girl, we would suggest he send laundry to the shop or buy fruit from her.

We’d also make a pitch for him, saying things like, “See how incredibly he draws,” and “He is more loaded than any of us.”

Sometimes, I think that women are really stubborn. If a woman has someone else in mind and doesn’t like the man who is after her, no matter how hard he tries to sweet-talk her, she won’t fall for him. However, when it comes to men, the whole situation changes. If a girl is chasing after a boy, he will eventually accept her, even if he is actually into another girl.

我生性害羞，有如作家李碧華文中所說(shuō)：靦腆、害羞得匪夷所思，像是瀕臨絕跡的稀有動(dòng)物，需要立法保護(hù)。其實(shí)，李碧華不知道，我外表非常羞澀，內(nèi)心自信強(qiáng)大得無(wú)與倫比。

那時(shí)，有一位跟我合租房子的初中同學(xué)李隆東，上文化大學(xué)經(jīng)濟(jì)系夜間部，白天在震旦行上班。

有一次，星期六下班，李隆東說(shuō)：“今天，我們公司來(lái)了一位名叫李紫錠的新同事，長(zhǎng)得非常漂亮?！?/p>

我說(shuō)：“你趕快追啊?！?/p>

“不行，她跟我同姓。”

“我看過(guò)同姓結(jié)婚呢，有什么關(guān)系?！?/p>

“我奶奶有交代，不能跟同姓交往?！?/p>

“好吧，我來(lái)追?！?/p>

你那么害羞，怎么追？”

“放心，我不必親自出馬，略施手段，一定能追到手?！?/p>

我十六七歲時(shí)，跟范萬(wàn)楠等四個(gè)人同租房子，一起畫漫畫。那時(shí)，我便看得很清楚，女人跟男人，雖然都是人，其實(shí)是不同物種。

女人跟男人不一樣，難以了解，不能站在男人的立場(chǎng)思考女人，同樣也不能站在女人的立場(chǎng)思考男人。

當(dāng)時(shí)，我們雖然是漫畫家，卻沒(méi)有覺(jué)得漫畫家身份有多么了不起，洗衣店新來(lái)一個(gè)美麗的柜臺(tái)小姐，或菜市場(chǎng)新來(lái)一個(gè)漂亮的水果妹，四個(gè)人中，有人宣稱要追，我們便讓他去送要洗的衣服或買水果。

大家在旁邊替他說(shuō)好話：“他漫畫畫得最棒，賺錢最多啦。”

我發(fā)現(xiàn)女人死心眼，如果女人不太喜歡正在追她的那位男生，喜歡另一位時(shí)，好話說(shuō)盡都不行。

男生的情況則不同，四位女生中，一位女生倒追一個(gè)男生，時(shí)間久了，男生會(huì)接受，雖然他其實(shí)喜歡另一位女生。

當(dāng)時(shí)我知道一個(gè)事實(shí)：

一群男生要追一群女生中的其中一位，證明自己是這群男生中最厲害的，沒(méi)有用，女人不吃這一套。

應(yīng)該反過(guò)來(lái)，用聚光燈照這個(gè)女生，照久了，她便全身虛脫，失去抵抗力。

李隆東說(shuō)：“我聽(tīng)不懂你的神秘理論，具體你要怎么做？”

當(dāng)時(shí)，玫瑰一朵一塊錢，我給李隆東100元和7張寫著字體秀氣的Black Tulip（黑色郁金香）的紫色小卡片，請(qǐng)他星期一上班前，交給震旦行旁邊長(zhǎng)安東路與中山北路交叉口的花店，要花店每天早上九點(diǎn)整，送12朵玫瑰給李紫錠小姐。

This was the conclusion that I drew at that time:when a boy was romancing a girl, trying to prove that he was the best among his fellows didn’t help,as girls wouldn’t buy it.

Instead, take the opposite approach: put the girl in the spotlight. After a while, she will be too weak to put up mental defenses any longer.

“Well, I’ve no idea of your mysterious love theory. What exactly are you going to do?” asked Li Longdong.

In those days, one rose sold for one Taiwan dollar. I gave Li Longdong 100 Taiwan dollars and seven purple cards with the words “Black Tulip”written on each one of them elegantly. I asked him to give the flowers and cards to the flower shop near his workplace the next Monday before work and tell the shop to deliver 12 roses to Miss Li Ziding at 9 o’clock sharp every morning.

During the next week, nothing happened for the first three days, but on Thursday, when Li Longdong came back home after work, he told me excitedly, “It worked! You, Li Ziding, another girl from the office, and I are going to watch a musical drama at 6 p.m. tomorrow. We’ll meet at the gate of Rixin Theater.”

“Tell me what happened,” I said.

Li Longdong elaborated on the course of events.

On Tuesday, another 12 roses arrived, and some female colleagues secretly asked her about it, but she said she had no idea who they were from.

On Wednesday, still 12 roses. After privately discussing with her female colleagues, she decided to find out who “Black Tulip” was.

At 9 o’clock on Thursday morning, Li Longdong was caught, probably for peeping through the office door, and was besieged by the female colleagues who pushed him to confess about the flowers. He had to tell them the truth that I was the “Black Tulip.” Immediately Miss Li Ziding made Li Longdong drive her to our apartment. There, she sat by my desk alone for a long while before getting back to work.

Because of the 12 roses arriving at 9 o’clock every morning, Miss Li Ziding was distracted on the first day, in no mood for work or food on the next day,and sleepless on the third day. On the fourth day,since she found out who “Black Tulip” was, she decided she would definitely like to meet him in person.

Therefore, the way to read a woman’s mind is through her heart, and a woman’s heart is the key to getting her attention.

Of course, when the person finally shows up, he can’t be someone who can’t even hold a candle to her.

Later, I went on a couple of dates with Miss Li,but eventually we broke up amicably. I’d like to wish beautiful and nice Miss Li Ziding happiness in her later marriage.?

(From Talents and Great Craftsmen, CITIC Publishing House)

前三天無(wú)事，星期四下班回到家，李隆東興奮地說(shuō)：“搞定了，你跟我，還有李紫錠和另一位公司里的小姐，四個(gè)人明天六點(diǎn)，在日新戲院門口碰頭，一起看《唱吧，太陽(yáng)》西班牙歌唱電影?！?/p>

我說(shuō)：“發(fā)生了什么事？”

李隆東詳細(xì)說(shuō)明這幾天的過(guò)程：

星期一，收到12朵玫瑰，她整天在想送花的會(huì)是哪一位。

星期二，又收到12朵玫瑰，其他女同事悄悄問(wèn)她，她也一頭霧水。

星期三，又收到12朵玫瑰，女同事們暗中商議，大家合作追查出送花的“黑色郁金香”到底是誰(shuí)。

星期四，早上九點(diǎn)，李隆東大概偷看門口被發(fā)現(xiàn)了，女同事們包圍他，要他招認(rèn)，自己就是送花的人，他只好說(shuō)出真相，送花人是初中同學(xué)蔡志忠。李紫錠當(dāng)場(chǎng)要求李隆東載她回我們租屋處，她獨(dú)坐我的書桌良久，然后再回公司上班。

因?yàn)槊刻煸缟暇劈c(diǎn)收到12朵神秘玫瑰，第一天，被神秘玫瑰弄得心神不寧。第二天，已無(wú)心上班，吃不下飯。第三天，苦思誰(shuí)是Black Tulip而失眠。第四天，知道誰(shuí)是黑色郁金香，更想親眼瞧瞧這號(hào)人物。

所以，要了解女人，要懂得她的心；要獲得女人的注意，要從她的心開(kāi)始。

當(dāng)然，本人從神秘中現(xiàn)身時(shí)，自己條件不能差得太遠(yuǎn)。

后來(lái)，我跟李小姐約會(huì)過(guò)幾次，最后，大家各有對(duì)象而分手。李紫錠小姐美麗又善良，祝福她有個(gè)美滿的好歸宿。?

（摘自《天才與巨匠》 中信出版社）

12朵神秘玫瑰

文/蔡志忠 譯/朱亞光

12 roses, and she spent the whole day wondering who the sender was.