My Good Friend
Li Ying is my classmate and she is also my good friend.She is fifteen years old this year,but she looks a little younger for her age.Though she isn’t very tall,and her eyes,nose and mouth are very small,but①I think she looks very beautiful.
Li Ying studies very hard.She often asks and answers questions in class.She likes every subject,so she does well at②all her lessons,especially English and math.She often helps others on③their lessons.I think that’s why everyone likes her.
She is a very outgoing girl.She is always smiling and often makes us laughing④,so we all like to play with her.She is confident.She believes she can do everything well.
Now Li Ying has gone to another school.All of us feel very sad,but we wish her the best.We all believe that her dream will come true.
安徽省濉溪縣百善中心學校七(3)班 趙琪
本期點評名師
姜經(jīng)志 男,中學英語高級教師、省級骨干教師、淮北市優(yōu)秀教師、中國外語學習學研究會會員、《學英語》《英語周報》特約編輯;多年來,在省級以上報刊發(fā)表文章800余篇,并有多篇論文獲獎;曾主編《初中生英語滿分作文大全》《英語奧林匹克》《新目標英語八年級暑假作業(yè)》,參編《高中英語知識點反饋與閱讀》《初中英語題典大全》《21世紀英語學習指南》《初中英語新作文》等;曾輔導學生30余人次在國家和省級英語競賽中獲獎。
1.優(yōu)點:
本文是一篇成功的寫人的記敘文。小作者向我們展示了一個樂觀、愛學習、愛幫助人的好女孩的生動形象。
2.需要修改的地方:
①刪去but。英語中,表示“雖然……但是……”時,用了though,就不能再用but。
②does well at應(yīng)改為does well in。表示“在……方面做得好”,應(yīng)用do well in。
③on應(yīng)改為with。help sb.with sth.是習慣搭配,意為“幫助某人做某事”。
④laughing應(yīng)改為laugh。make作“使;讓”時,后面應(yīng)接不帶to的動詞不定式作賓語補足語。
3.評分:
按中考英語作文滿分25分的標準,本文修改前可得22分。