文/唐老雅
雅思寫作題材解析及習作修改(九)
——文化類
文/唐老雅1
“文化類”題材在雅思考試中屬于中危話題,平均每年出現(xiàn)3—5次。考點及分布如下:
1.網(wǎng)絡對傳統(tǒng)文化的沖擊,包括:(1)人們能從網(wǎng)上獲取信息,因此是否不需要博物館了?(2)是否可以通過書籍、電影和網(wǎng)絡而不需旅游去了解其他文化?
2.旅游和傳統(tǒng)文化,包括:(1)很多當?shù)厝瞬幌矚g當?shù)氐穆糜尉包c和博物館,為什么?可以采取哪些措施吸引他們?(2)旅行者如何學習其他文化和傳統(tǒng),為什么有些旅行者對這些文化和傳統(tǒng)沒有興趣?
3.對文化的不同看法,包括:(1)對某些文化重視老年人,某些文化重視年輕人的看法;(2)越來越多不同文化和民族的人共同生活的原因及其利弊;(3)傳統(tǒng)文化是否有必要保存?
4.對語言的看法:使用比較少的語言是否應該拋棄?
1. The customs and traditional ways of behaviour are no longer relevant in the modern world. So they are not worth keeping any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?(2016/09/10)
2. Multicultural societies, where people of different ethnic groups live together, can bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?(2016/04/02)
3. Differences between countries are becoming less evident recently. People can see the same films, brands, fashion, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do disadvantages outweigh advantages?(2016/01/09)
4. Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, but other people believe that it is the only way to save such conditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinions.(2015/12/19)
5. Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists, not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract local people?(2015/02/07)
對于“文化類”話題,以下觀點可以借鑒:(1)傳統(tǒng)文化需要保存(preserve),因為傳統(tǒng)文化中包含了一個民族的歷史;(2)文化往往需要身臨其境才能真正理解;(3)多元文化共存可以相互學習,消除偏見(remove prejudices),使世界更加和諧(more harmonious);(4)文化更多作用于一個人的精神世界,不能全部以實用性來衡量;(5)應該保護語言多樣性,因為一種語言消失,意味著一種文化消失。
題目
Some people believe governments should spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out completely. Others think this is a waste of financial resources.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
學生習作
During the long human history, more than 5,500 kinds of languages have been born. Of those some are extensively used, such as English, Chinese and Spanish. While some only have few speakers. Then a question rises that if government need spend money in protecting these minority languages from extinction. There are people who consider it necessary, while others think it is a waste of financial resources. In my opinion, government should definitely take measures to save languages.
Not only for communication, languages carries human culture as well. It is an important channel for discovering a nation’s history and promoting culture dissemination. Therefore, protecting languages is approximately equal to protecting culture heritage. If we indulge a language gradually fading away, a part of culture will lose its inheritance and scholars will also lose valuable research materials. It is enormous losses for all humanity. In addition to that, financial resources ought to be used for various aspects. In modern society, economic construction. However,it doesn’t mean that cultural development can be easily neglected. On the contrary,culture is what runs a long course from a remote source. Protecting languages also shows respect to those minorities friends. Everyone has responsibility to inherit human’s previous treasures as possible as we could.
Generally speaking, governments should indeed spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out. A language is such a gem that certainly needs preservation at any cost.
評分:5
老雅評改
據(jù)說,現(xiàn)在世界上每天都有數(shù)十種語言在消失,有人就說,政府應該想辦法保護這些語言,雖然講這種語言的人非常少,但其他人則說,保護這些語言沒有用,完全是浪費人力和物力。好了,看來雙方都有道理!保護這些語言,因為語言背后是文化,一旦語言消失,它背后的文化也就消失了,而這個世界需要多元文化;不保護這些語言,因為現(xiàn)在都是地球村了,大家說同樣的語言更容易溝通,因此應該讓小語言(languages spoken by very few people)按照市場規(guī)律自生自滅。老雅覺得,我們應該采取的態(tài)度是,推行全球通用語言,但也要適當保護那些有豐富文化內(nèi)涵的小語言。
習作采取一邊倒論證方式,即認為政府應該保護小語言,提出兩個理由:一、保護語言就是保護文化;二、保護語言是對少數(shù)民族的尊重。但習作的語言(尤其是后半部分)質(zhì)量比較低,錯誤很多,不少地方讓人難以理解。同時,習作將兩個理由放在同一段落的做法也不值得提倡,因為這樣會使第2段過長,使整個文章結(jié)構(gòu)失去平衡。
第1段
During the long human history, more than 5,500 kinds of languages have been born. Of those some are extensively used, such as English, Chinese and Spanish. While some only have few speakers. Then a question rises that if government need spend money in protecting these minority languages from extinction. There are people who consider it necessary, while others think it is a waste of financial resources. In my opinion, government should definitely take measures to save languages.
[修改] Of the more than 5,500 languages in use now, some are used by a huge number of people, like English and Chinese, while some others only have very few speakers. Then the question arises whether governments should spend money protecting these minority languages from extinction. Some people consider it very necessary, while others think it is a waste of financial resources. In my opinion,governments should definitely take measures to save languages.
[評析] 本段開頭段,引入話題后,重述題目觀點,然后明確給出自己的觀點。本段無論從語言還是內(nèi)容都達到了7分標準。(1)... while some only have few speakers. 這里,while引導的只能是表示轉(zhuǎn)折的從句,不能單獨成句。(2)... a question rises ...這里,rises是誤用,應該用arises。
第2段
Not only for communication, languages carries human culture as well.It is an important channel for discovering a nation’s history and promoting culture dissemination. Therefore, protecting languages is approximately equal to protecting culture heritage. If we indulge a language gradually fading away, a part of culture will lose its inheritance and scholars will also lose valuable research materials. It is enormous losses for all humanity. In addition to that, financial resources ought to be used for various aspects. In modern society, economic construction. However, it doesn’t mean that cultural development can be easily neglected. On the contrary, culture is what runs a long course from a remote source. Protecting languages also shows respect to those minorities friends.Everyone has responsibility to inherit human’s previous treasures as possible as we could.
[修改] As is known to us all, a language is not just for daily communication, but carries a human culture as well. It is an important tool of recording a nation’s history and spreading its culture. Therefore, protecting a language is protecting its cultural heritage. If we just let a language gradually fade away without doing anything, a culture is dying with it forever and then we can never get it back however hard the scholars work. This is, no doubt an enormous loss for all humanity.
Admittedly, the government financial budget ought to be carefully planned,because it has so many things to take care of, and the top priority is always given to economic growth. But this does not mean that culture can be neglected. As a matter of fact, the more a country respects its cultural diversity, the happier and more united its people are. In this sense, protecting the minority languages is also conducive to the economic development of the country.
[評析] 本段分析贊同保護語言的兩個理由。老雅將本段拆分為兩段,每段集中討論一個理由。習作的主要問題是思路不清,語言表達也不準確,甚至有讀不懂的地方。(1)... if we indulge a language gradually fading away... 這里的indulge是“容忍”“縱容”的意思嗎?正確的應該是... if we let a language gradually fade away ...。(2)In addition to that, financial resources ought to be used for various aspects. In modern society, economic construction.這兩句與前文的邏輯聯(lián)系何在?in addition to that...表示遞進關(guān)系。in modern society, economic construction是典型的破碎句,缺動詞謂語。
第3段
Generally speaking, governments should indeed spend money in saving languages of few speakers from dying out. A language is such a gem that certainly needs preservation at any cost.
[修改] To sum up, governments should indeed spend money saving those languages of few speakers from dying out because by protecting these languages, the governments are not just protecting the culture, but also promoting the national unity and harmony.A language is such a gem that certainly needs preservation at any cost.
[評析] 本段是結(jié)尾,應該用具體的詞匯對前面討論的觀點加以總結(jié),習作結(jié)尾沒有總結(jié)出前面討論的兩個原因。generally speaking表示“總體而言”,但這里需要一個表示總結(jié)的詞匯,因此改為to sum up。
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1 唐偉勝,廣東外語外貿(mào)大學教授,博士,英美文學研究專家。