文/周東娜

孔子擇婿

CONFUCIUS SELECTED SON-IN-LAW

文/周東娜

再偉大的人也有著和常人一般無(wú)二的家庭生活。據(jù)記載，孔子19歲那年迎娶了宋國(guó)女子亓官氏，從此結(jié)束了單身生活，步入了婚姻。時(shí)過(guò)一年，孔家添丁，獨(dú)子孔鯉來(lái)到了人世。當(dāng)時(shí)的孔子雖然年方弱冠，卻已是魯國(guó)的名人。聽(tīng)說(shuō)孔家有了弄璋之喜，貴為一國(guó)之主的魯昭公連忙派人登門(mén)祝賀，并帶了一條大鯉魚(yú)作為賀禮。初為人父的孔子倍感榮幸，當(dāng)即給兒子取名為“鯉”，字之曰“伯魚(yú)”。在孔鯉之后，孔子和亓官氏這對(duì)小夫妻又生了個(gè)寶貝女兒。或許是孔鯉未能從父親那里繼承來(lái)足夠多的優(yōu)良基因，以致于各方面都表現(xiàn)得十分普通，孔子內(nèi)心里不免對(duì)其有些失望；相反，襁褓中的女兒卻表現(xiàn)得異于常人，長(zhǎng)大之后更是聰明伶俐，因而頗得父母歡心。

轉(zhuǎn)眼間，女兒便已成長(zhǎng)為身材高挑、楚楚動(dòng)人的大姑娘，也陸續(xù)有熱心人上門(mén)提親。但無(wú)論是張家還是李家，不是做長(zhǎng)輩的口碑有些差，就是孩子自身的條件不太好，總之都讓孔子感到不那么理想。他自忖：與其坐等“媒妁之言”，還不如祭出“父母之命”，自己給女兒物色個(gè)婆家，這樣，女兒一輩子的幸福就有了可靠的保證。打定了主意，孔子說(shuō)做就做，開(kāi)始對(duì)自己的弟子“過(guò)篩子”。

當(dāng)把結(jié)了婚、脾氣差、毛病多、年齡和體貌明顯不般配的弟子一一排除之后，公冶長(zhǎng)的形象便浮現(xiàn)在了孔子眼前?！熬褪撬?！”孔子沒(méi)有片刻的猶豫，果斷地決定把女兒許配給這位弟子。消息傳開(kāi)，眾弟子驚詫不已、面面相覷，竊竊議論道：“老師難道是瘋了嗎？”左鄰右舍更是眼睛瞪得老大，腦袋搖得像是撥浪鼓：“這位孔先生真是奇了怪了，大戶人家的公子他看不上，到頭來(lái)卻要把如花似玉的親閨女嫁給那樣一個(gè)人！看不懂，真是看不懂??！”

人們?yōu)楹螌?duì)孔子決定把女兒許配給公冶長(zhǎng)反應(yīng)如此強(qiáng)烈？原來(lái)，公冶長(zhǎng)其人不僅家庭貧寒，還蹲過(guò)大牢，算是人生履歷中有嚴(yán)重污點(diǎn)的人。對(duì)于這位弟子的家境和既往，孔子心里十分清楚，不過(guò)在他看來(lái)，這些都不是問(wèn)題。因?yàn)槠湟?，誰(shuí)都不能選擇自己的出身，出身貧寒不是過(guò)錯(cuò)，怨天尤人、自暴自棄才最可悲，至于公冶家的這位后生，他不僅好學(xué)上進(jìn)，而且樸實(shí)善良，自己的女兒嫁給這樣的人，絕對(duì)是正確的選擇；其二，坐牢固然不是光彩之事，但也得看究竟為何。公冶長(zhǎng)憑借自己懂鳥(niǎo)語(yǔ)的特長(zhǎng)幫著老嫗找到了其失蹤兒子的尸體卻被誣告殺人，官府查明原委后將他從牢獄中釋放出來(lái)，在孔子看來(lái)屬于好人蒙冤，“非其罪也”。而從公冶長(zhǎng)事后毫不計(jì)較、大度為懷的表現(xiàn)來(lái)看，坐牢與其說(shuō)是他人生中的污點(diǎn)，倒不如說(shuō)是一大亮點(diǎn)。

孔子把這番道理向周圍的人們說(shuō)開(kāi)了，大家無(wú)不點(diǎn)頭稱是，感慨系之地說(shuō)道：真不愧是圣人?。】磫?wèn)題想事情就是眼光獨(dú)到、與眾不同。當(dāng)然，“知父莫若女”，聽(tīng)了父親的決定后，做女兒的二話不說(shuō)就愉快地接受下來(lái)，成親之后便踏踏實(shí)實(shí)地與夫婿過(guò)起了小日子。后來(lái)，學(xué)有所成的公冶長(zhǎng)回到家鄉(xiāng)，仿效自己的老師興辦私學(xué)，培養(yǎng)了很多學(xué)生，為儒學(xué)的傳播作出了很大貢獻(xiàn)。

Agreat man also has a normal family life which is exactly like that of ordinary people. After having a son, Kong Li, Confucius's wife gave birth to a baby girl.

In no time, Confucius's daughter had already grown into a tall, lovely young lady. Some warm-hearted people started to come to propose marriage. However, no matter what the family was, either that the elders had a poor reputation or that the child's own conditions were not good made Confucius dissatisfied with them. In the end, Confucius decided to look for a husband for his daughter by himself, and then he begun to consider his disciples. After excluding the disciples who were married, who were in bad temper, who had some defects and whose age and appearance were obviously not suitable, Confucius thought of Gongye Chang.

Gongye Chang, the young man, was not only eager to learn and progress, but also simple and kind-hearted. It was absolutely the right choice for his daughter to marry such a person. After listening to his father's decision, the daughter happily accepted it without any hesitation. After the marriage, the couple steadfastly lived a simple and happy life.