陳傳光

I like summer vacation. I neednt get up so early. I can do anything I like to do， such as watching TV， listening to music， playing computer games， and reading interesting books. My parents are busy for① their work. I often stay at home lonely②. Sometimes I call my friends to come to my home. Sometimes I go to my friends home.

Although I am alone most of the time in my summer vacation， but③ I still enjoy my vacation.

江蘇省連云港市贛榆區(qū)羅陽中學(xué)七（4）班 魏杰

點(diǎn)評(píng)

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

小作者描寫了自己的暑假生活，表達(dá)了自己對(duì)假期的喜愛。本文語言簡潔，內(nèi)容連貫。整篇文章文字流暢，用詞得當(dāng)，是一篇不錯(cuò)的學(xué)生習(xí)作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① for改為with。be busy with sth.意為“忙于某事”；

② lonely改為alone。lonely是形容詞，此處修飾動(dòng)詞短語stay at home，應(yīng)使用副詞alone；

③ but去掉。although不能與but同時(shí)出現(xiàn)在一句話中。

3. 評(píng)分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分25分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得23分。