By Yang Xiwen

Eating Reveals Upbringing

By Yang Xiwen

I am certainly a foodie.I love eating,and I have many beautiful memories associated with food.When I was little,I loved my mother’s chive pies and her stewed sauerkraut with vermicelli noodles. I also fondly remember my dad’s twice-cooked pork and fried noodles with sauce.Even ordinary braised tofu with cabbage,when prepared well,has been known to make me eat two bowls of rice.My passion for food has never gone away.As an adult,I like socializing with people at dining tables.Seeing love and friendship manifesting around the table always thrills me. The transference of flavors and fragrance between chopsticks and bowls is like heaven on earth.

I always care about what I eat but,gradually,I realized that eating reveals not only culture,but also upbringing.Although a somewhat simple behavior,eating exposes various attitudes.Some people eat like pigs,others with elegance;some are very possessive about their food, others are eager to share;some ignore etiquette,others are very thoughtful.Taiwanese writer Lin Qingxuan said in one of his articles about food,“People always choose their favorite things and such preferences often reflect their personality and nature.Hence the saying,‘You are what you eat.’”

I was born in an ordinary family, with a high Engel’s Coefficient—an economist’s way of saying much of our income was spent on food. What my parents taught me is closely related to food and very straightforward.One Spring Festival,I went to my grandparents’house with my parents.Seeing countless candies and snacks on the table,I couldn’t help shoveling them into my mouth. My mother came over to me and said,rather seriously,“Don’t behave like you’ve never had anything.”Since then I’ve always kept in mind that I should eat moderately and without losing dignity,wherever I go or whoever I am with.

While abroad,I worked in lots of different restaurants where I observed many people’s table manners.Some love extravagance and always order a table full of food, while knowing well that there is no way they can finish it all.As a result,some dishes often end up being hardly touched.They never ask for a doggie bag either,as if such waste had nothing to do with them;others dread losing out and eagerly grab a mouthful of food every time a new dish appears.They watch like hawks the whole time,fearing that they will eat less than others;some hog the menu and only order their favorites without thinking about anyone else;others are so messy that they spill sauces or drinks all over the table;some are arrogant and enjoy bossing the waiting staff around,then leave with a loud burp. There are also nice people,of course.They present very good table manners,pay attention to each other’s preferences,respect other people’s feelings,and never wasteany food.Before leaving,they would even stack all the plates—big ones at the bottom and smaller ones on the top,wipe off any spilled mess,and thank me with a big smile.

Needless to say,eating and drinking play a very important role in our social lives.We share lovely dinners with our family,have coffee with friends we haven’t seen for years, enjoy some Tiramisu at a dessert shop with our BFF,have a romantic candlelit dinner with our sweetheart,or get drunk at our graduation farewell party.We also meet different people,have meals with them, and pick up some new etiquettes along the way.Gradually we begin to see:those who are always the first to lift their chopsticks to pick the biggest morsel are very likely to be selfish in life;those who insist on having a taste of whatever you are having are perhaps keen on gaining petty advantages;those who would serve you a bowl of soup,pick the best part of the fish for you,cherish food,and are not fussy may not be your closest friends,but are definitely upright,kind-hearted,and reliable individuals.

At school,there were two girls in my year in the same gym class.We had lunch right after class,and every time they would have lunch together.Born into a wealthy family, girl A was particularly fastidious about food and dined in restaurants almost every day.Girl B was poor and always ate some cheap vegetable dish with a bowl of rice in the school canteen to save money.But whenever they went to lunch together,girl A would buy exactly the same food as girl B and happily ate it while cheerfully chatting with her friend.Several years after graduation,I still remember girl A’s kind face.Every time I think of it,I can’t help thinking that eating really shows who we are.

I always believe that a person with good table manners must have a noble character.In my view,eating is such a serious business that much of the time it inadvertently and mercilessly reveals your upbringing.

(FromPlease Respect a Girl’s Efforts,Jiangsu Literature and Art Publishing House.Translation:Liu Lili.)