誰都會有忍不住想要發(fā)火的時候,這實在是再正常不過的事情了。當怒火來襲時,如果放任其肆意燃燒,你不僅可能會傷及無辜,甚至還有可能引“火”上身。何不學習一下在怒火騰起的第一時間果斷將其制服的技巧呢?這樣你就不會在發(fā)火之后又后悔萬分啦。
There's nothing wrong with feeling furious! But learning to control your inner Hulk1) can keep you from doing all sorts of stuff you'll regret.
Oh, you've been there: Your parents are insisting you come home by 10:00, when everyone else can stay out until midnight. You're angry, and who wouldn't be? We all have days when we think we might explode right away. Everyone feels it!
That's because anger is 101 percent normal—in fact, it's rooted in the most primitive of survival mechanisms. When an animal is threatened by a vicious2) predator, it feels anger as a signal to fight to stay alive. But complex animals that we humans are, our highly evolved brains attach similar meaning to things that aren't life-threatening but trigger an equally intense response. Once those wires get crossed3), the spiral is swift: You're ready to wrestle your best friend, for example, when a simple, "Hey man, not cool" would probably do the trick4).
And while there's zero shame in getting mad—no one ever got into trouble for having angry thoughts—what you do about your rage5) makes all the difference. (Think about it: Scream at your parents? Grounded6). Eye-roll at your teacher? Sent to detention7).) So consider this your survival guide to making it through those moments when you're on the brink of totally Hulking out. If you can pause, understand where your anger is coming from, and know what to do with it, your relationships—and your whole life—will benefit.
感覺怒火中燒并沒有什么錯!但學會控制你內心的“綠巨人”能阻止你去做各種各樣你將來會后悔的事情。
哦,你有過那樣的經歷:你的父母堅決要求你晚上10點以前回家,可其他人卻都能在外面一直待到半夜12點。你很生氣,誰會不生氣呢?我們都有覺得自己可能馬上就要爆發(fā)的時候,每個人都有這樣的感覺!
這是因為憤怒是再正常不過的事情——事實上,憤怒根源于最原始的生存機制。當一只動物受到邪惡的捕食者的威脅時,它就會感到憤怒,這是它即將為活命而戰(zhàn)的一個信號。但我們人類是復雜動物,我們高度進化的大腦將相似的意義附著在了沒有對我們構成生命威脅但卻觸發(fā)了同樣強烈反應的那些事情上。一旦發(fā)生誤會,螺旋反應就會迅速產生。譬如,一句簡單的“嘿,兄弟,這樣可不好啊”就很可能會令你這樣做——把自己最好的朋友摔倒在地上。
雖然發(fā)怒一點兒都不丟臉,沒有人曾因心懷怒火就陷入麻煩,但你如何處理自己的憤怒會使結果大相徑庭。(試想一下:朝父母大嚷大叫?你會被禁足。朝老師亂翻白眼?你會在課后被留校。)所以,你可以把這篇文章看成是你的生存指南,讓你能順利度過馬上就要像“綠巨人”一樣氣呼呼地走出去的那些時刻。如果你能臨“火”止步,弄明白你的怒火來自何處,知道自己該如何應對,那么你的人際關系——以及你的整個人生——都將受益。
When you're angry, your whole body reacts, and your furious feelings can go from zero to out-of-control before they are even noticed in your brain! That's why it's crucial to pay attention to physical cues. Learn to recognize them immediately and you'll be better able to control your anger.
Your face feels hot Your fists clench
Your heart races You might start sweating
當你生氣時,你身體的所有部位都會做出反應,你的憤怒情緒會在你的大腦甚至都還沒有察覺之前就從零激增到失控狀態(tài)!因此,關注你生氣時的身體信號非常重要。學會一眼就識別出這些信號,你將能更好地控制自己的怒火。
臉覺得發(fā)燙 雙拳緊握
心跳加速 可能開始冒汗
It can be impossible to make rational decisions when you're with rage! So once you've recognized that you're mad, halt whatever you're doing, which will stop your body's rage response and get your brain back on track. Try one of these simple, science-backed tactics to freeze your feelings and calm your mind.
Come up for air. Take deep breaths, or close your eyes and count (to 10, to 100 ... whatever it takes!).
Squeeze-and-release. Tense9) a group of muscles and squeeze for 5 seconds. Then release and count to 10 while saying the word relax to yourself as you let go of all that repressed tension!
Distract yourself. Shift your focus to something pleasant (your dog, a funny video) to lift your spirits.
當你極其憤怒時,你是不可能做出理智的決定的!因此,一旦你意識到自己十分生氣,無論你正在做什么事情你都要停下來,這將能阻止你身體的憤怒反應,使你的大腦重新回到正軌。試試以下這些有科學依據的簡單策略,來凍結你的惱怒情緒,使你的頭腦冷靜下來。
讓自己喘口氣。深呼吸,或閉上你的雙眼,然后數數(數到10,數到100……需要數到幾就數到幾?。?。
先緊后松。拉緊身上某一組肌肉,繃緊保持5秒。然后放松肌肉,數到10,一邊和自己說“放松”,一邊將自己所有被壓抑的緊張情緒都釋放出去!
轉移自己的注意力。將你的注意力轉移到令你高興的一些事情(你的狗或一段搞笑的視頻)上來振奮你的精神。
1. Hulk: 浩克,又稱綠巨人,是漫威漫畫中的超級英雄。為了保護同事,物理學家布魯斯·班納博士在一次試驗發(fā)生爆炸后遭受到伽馬射線的輻射,身體發(fā)生了異變,每當他生氣時,他就會變成狂暴的綠巨人。Hulk作動詞時,指像綠巨人一樣生氣地走。
2. vicious [?v???s] adj. 邪惡的,道德敗壞的
3. get one's wires crossed: <口> (因被搞糊涂而)誤會別人的意思;發(fā)生誤會
4. do the trick: <口>奏效;起作用;達到目的
5. rage [re?d?] n. 狂怒;暴怒
6. ground [ɡra?nd] vt. (父母)罰(孩子)待在家里,不準(孩子)出去玩
7. detention [d??ten?n] n. (處罰學生的)課后留校,留堂
8. passion [?p??n] n. 激憤;盛怒
9. tense [tens] vt. 使拉緊,使緊繃;使緊張
10. heat [hi?t] n. 強烈的感情;激動;憤怒
11. endorphin [en?d??f?n] n. 【生化】內啡肽
12. rock out: <口>如癡如狂地奏搖滾樂(或跳搖滾舞)
13. soothing [?su????] adj. 安慰的,撫慰性的
14. Instagram: 一款最初在IOS平臺上運行的照片分享及視頻分享軟件
15. rant [r?nt] n. 怒氣沖沖的叫嚷;大叫大嚷
Once the heat10) of the moment is behind you, you may be able to move right on—some people can. But if you're still upset, skip the strategies that will only make things worse and choose the course that will really help you work through your feelings and move forward.
1. You may want to hit a pillow because you think it's better than hitting a wall or punching a person! But experts say violence doesn't actually lessen your anger—it just redirects it. So try exercising! It triggers the release of feel-good hormones called endorphins11).
2. You may want to rock out12) to fast, loud, angry songs because you think music that matches your mood is an easy way to express your feelings. But experts say it will only keep you furious. So try creating a playlist with soothing13) beats.
3. You may want to go on a Twitter or Instagram14) rant15) because you think you're getting it all out! But experts say "don't"—your public outburst could last forever on the web. So try writing in a private journal. You can say whatever you want without hurting anyone else, and then reflect on those feelings later.
一旦當時的憤怒情緒退去,你或許就能立刻繼續(xù)前行——有些人能夠做到。但如果你還是心煩意亂的話,就跳過那些只會讓事情變得更糟糕的策略,選擇那種會真正幫助你調整自己的情緒并繼續(xù)前行的方式吧。
1. 你可能想捶捶枕頭出氣,因為你認為這比砸墻或是揍人要好一些!但專家說,暴力并不能切實減輕你的怒火,它只是將其轉移到了其他方面而已。因此,試著做做運動吧!它可以觸發(fā)身體釋放出一種令人快樂的荷爾蒙——內啡肽。
2. 你或許想要隨著節(jié)奏快、聲音大而且充滿憤怒情緒的搖滾歌曲狂舞,因為你覺得那種符合自己心情的音樂是表達自己情緒的一種輕松方式。但專家卻說這樣的音樂只會讓你狂怒不止。所以,試著創(chuàng)建一個播放列表,播放一些節(jié)奏舒緩的音樂吧。
3. 你或許想上推特或Instagram咆哮一番,因為你覺得這樣做是在把自己的怒火全都一股腦兒地發(fā)泄出去!但專家說“不要這么做”,因為你的這種公開的情緒大爆發(fā)會永遠留在網上。所以,試著將那些憤怒的情緒寫在私人日記里吧。你可以隨心所欲地說任何自己想說的話,同時又不會傷害到其他任何人,而且以后還能對那些情緒進行一下反思呢。