汪臻

【作文題】

規(guī)則是社會文明的標(biāo)志，遵守規(guī)則應(yīng)當(dāng)從小事做起。請根據(jù)下面的提綱，用英語寫一篇短文向英語報(bào)English Times投稿，簡要敘述上周一下午你在學(xué)校閱覽室做作業(yè)時(shí)看到的不遵守規(guī)則的現(xiàn)象，并談?wù)勀愕目捶ā?/p>

●When and why were you in the reading room？

●What did you notice there？ （e.g. Students talking loudly， ...）

●What is your opinion？

注意：短文的開頭已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。

Rules are important in our daily life. Following rules actually starts with very small acts， in the school reading room for example.

【下面的病句來自同學(xué)的習(xí)作，你能找出其中的錯(cuò)誤嗎？】

●When I was studying in the reading room last Monday afternoon， I noticed someone didnt follow the rules.

提示中的students規(guī)定了必須表達(dá)“有些人不遵守規(guī)則”的意思，但someone意為“某個(gè)人”，所以句子表達(dá)有誤。同學(xué)們經(jīng)常把someone和somebody錯(cuò)當(dāng)成復(fù)數(shù)（某些人）來使用，這一點(diǎn)應(yīng)該注意避免。

正確的表述應(yīng)該是：When I was studying in the reading room last Monday afternoon， I noticed some students didnt follow the rules.

● There were many students ignored the rules.

這位同學(xué)想使用there be句型表達(dá)“有許多學(xué)生（在閱覽室）不遵守規(guī)則”的意思，但是修飾students的定語從句ignored the rules缺少引導(dǎo)詞，導(dǎo)致句中出現(xiàn)兩個(gè)謂語there were和ignored。

為了解決這一問題，可以直接刪去there were，改為Many students ignored the rules；也可以在ignored之前加上who，改為There were many students who ignored the rule，who既是從句的引導(dǎo)詞，又擔(dān)任從句的主語。從上下文語境看，后者強(qiáng)調(diào)了“忽視規(guī)則的學(xué)生”的存在，更恰當(dāng)。

● I found some phenomena that broke the rules of the reading room.

是誰broke the rules of the reading room？that引導(dǎo)的同位語從句缺少主語，導(dǎo)致句子表意不清。應(yīng)改為：

I found some phenomena that many students broke the rules of the reading room.

● Some students talking loudly， and some students even eat snacks inside the room.

talking是現(xiàn)在分詞形式，不能作謂語，所以前半個(gè)分句缺少謂語動(dòng)詞。出現(xiàn)這樣的錯(cuò)誤顯然是不假思索照抄提示中students talking loudly造成的。后半個(gè)分句中eat的時(shí)態(tài)也不正確。正確的表述應(yīng)該是：

Some students were talking loudly， and some were even eating snacks inside the room.

● Smell of the food was full of the whole reading room.

這位同學(xué)想表達(dá)“食物的氣味充斥著整個(gè)閱覽室”的意思，而be full of意為“（被）……填滿”，如此一來，句意成了“食物的氣味被整個(gè)閱覽室填滿”，完全不合邏輯。正確的表述應(yīng)該是：

The whole reading room was full of the smell of the food.

或：The smell of the food filled the whole reading room.

或：The whole reading room was filled with the smell of food.

● Only can we follow the rules， the reading room can be much better.

only修飾狀語且“only +狀語”的結(jié)構(gòu)放在句首時(shí)，主句需要倒裝。我們都清楚這一規(guī)則，但是在實(shí)際寫作中，同學(xué)們往往胡亂使用only開頭的倒裝句。

這位同學(xué)想使用倒裝句表達(dá)“只有我們遵守規(guī)則，閱覽室才會變得更好”的意思，但是only并沒有修飾狀語，倒裝的部分也不是主句。正確的表述應(yīng)該是：

Only when every one of us follows the rules， can the reading room be a better place for study.