It's the pixie1）-cut hair and flawless skin that give her away. Emma Watson is dressed unobtrusively2） in a cotton flower-print French Connection dress and beige3） sandals， but she is unmistakable. Fans have accosted4） her five times in the past half hour alone. Today is the actress's twenty-first birthday， and she is determined to spend it as she pleases—which means a leisurely mid-morning latte followed by a stroll through the Joan Miró exhibition at London's Tate Modern. Emma just ignores the stares and chats animatedly5） about every picture on the wall with me. As a raucous6） band of teenagers turns around and heads straight toward her， \"It's time to go，\" she says. And we head swiftly for the nearest exit. Outside， a photographer in a tree starts snapping away until she is inside the car and driving away.

As we drive through London， a completely different Emma emerges from the smiling girl who met me for coffee two hours earlier. This Emma is passionate and vulnerable. She describes a recent turning point when she read Just Kids， Patti Smith's7） 2010 memoir， in which she writes of discovering that her true calling lay in \"three chords merged with the power of the word\". Patti's willingness to embrace the highs and lows of a creative life touched something in Emma. \"I want to live like Patti. I want to write like Patti，\" she says. \"The book was so honest and brave. I loved the way she sees the world. I really felt that life was more beautiful after I read it， and I felt more hopeful.\"

Conscious that her words might sound odd or a slightly self-regarding coming from one of the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood， Emma goes quiet for a moment. The hands stop moving， and her elfin8） features crumple9）. \"I have had no control over my life，\" she blurts out10）. \"I have lived in a complete bubble. They found me and picked me for the part. And now I'm desperately trying to find my way through it.\"

She gives me a quizzical11） look that clearly says， \"Can I trust you？\" Taking a deep breath， she invites me back to her house so that we can talk without fear of interruption and she can explain what she means by the \"bubble\".

Emma was only nine years old when her love for stories， and for one in particular about the adventures of a boy wizard and his two best friends， drove her to audition for producer David Heyman. One minute she was living an ordinary existence in the picturesque university town of Oxford with her mother and younger brother， Alex； the next she was enclosed behind the gates of a converted12） factory near London， inside a fantasy world that was， to echo Patti Smith's description of the Chelsea Hotel， \"like a doll's house in The Twilight Zone\".

Nothing prepared Emma or her parents， who divorced when she was five， for the all-encompassing commitment13） demanded by the Harry Potter franchise14） as its success took off. Acting the part of Hermione was not simply a matter of taking the odd hiatus15） from normal life； the constant filming and promoting of the movies became normal life. All the rituals of adolescence， from dyeing her hair to trawling16） the mall in search of boys， had to be sacrificed on the altar of work.

In time， the crew on the set of Harry Potter became Emma's surrogate17） family. It was not just about bonding with her costars Daniel Radcliffe18） and Rupert Grint19）： Heyman's emphasis on continuity ensured that year after year the same driver took Emma to and from Leavesden Studios， the same cafeteria lady take food for her， and the same hairdressers combed her famous brown curly hair. Emma grew close to the head of makeup， Amanda Knight， and would while away20） the hours experimenting in the makeup trailer. \"That was my playground. I would sit and play with lipsticks and eye shadows； and every now and then Amanda would let me do the extras'21） face paint for the Quidditch matches.\"

But in 2007 Emma turned seventeen， and the \"doll's house\" began to feel less like an alternate universe and more like an ordinary prison. \"She is really， really bright，\" says Heyman. \"She is curious and interested in everything： in fashion， culture， and literature. She questioned things more than Dan and Rupert. There were things that she needed to figure out for herself.\"

As Emma takes me on a tour of her house， the extraordinary depth and breadth to her talents become obvious. Every room is framed around a beautiful artifact and her artworks show that she can both paint and draw exquisitely. One picture stands out： it is a self-portrait of Emma holding a camera. The lens22） is aimed threateningly at the viewer， like the barrel23） of a gun， a neat illustration of what we had just experienced at the Tate.

She talks in fighting metaphors. \"I have felt for the last ten years I have had this battle； I've been fighting so hard to have an education. It's been this uphill struggle，\" she says， clenching her hands as she speaks. \"I was Warner Bros.' pain in the butt24）. I was their scheduling conflict. I was the one who made life difficult.\" Finally， Emma took the brave step of announcing that she would not renew her contract for the last two films unless changes were made to accommodate her desire to go to university. Warner Bros. agreed to do everything humanly possible， and， she says， \"I just realized at one point that I can't fight everything. I have to move in the direction of it—and go with it.\"

But being the perfectionist she is， Emma couldn't just \"go with it\". Once she had agreed to commit herself to four more years， \"I decided I would do it well.\" The change became apparent in all areas of her life. Critics noticed a new energy to her acting. \"As the role of Hermione became more interesting，\" says David Yates， the director of the last four Potter films， \"Emma became more engaged. She is an incredibly intuitive25） and instinctive actor. She can dig deep to find an emotion and bring it to the scene.\" The Deathly Hallows parts one and two are the darkest of all the Potter movies， the innocence of the previous films replaced by a grim26） meditation on the nature of terror. The more complex material in the finale27） allowed Emma to stretch her wings. But， insists Yates， \"she hasn't had a role yet to show how she can really shine. There is a very serious and interesting acting brain in there that will surprise everybody.\"

With all this going on， Emma somehow managed to find the time to enroll at Brown University in 2009. \"I want to be normal，\" she said at the time. \"I really want anonymity28）.\" Contrary to some media reports， she says this is exactly what happened： she lived in a freshman dorm with a shared bathroom at the end of the corridor. No one hassled29） her or shouted out \"Three points for Gryffindor\" if she answered a question in class. Emma was able to fit right in， wearing flip-flops to lectures and finishing her papers at four in the morning like everyone else. Only she wasn't like them， because they didn't have to take two weeks off here and there to shoot scenes or attend a junket30）， and then return tired and jet-lagged31） in time for finals. Briefly meeting the actor James Franco32）， then studying at Rhode Island School of Design， was helpful. \"It was such a relief to speak to someone who is trying to do the same thing I'm doing. I talked to him about juggling33） studying and making films and going backward and forward. He's not afraid or limited by what he fears people will say about it.\"

Emma struggled bravely to fit everything into her life. \"For someone of her age， she is relentless in what she does. Even when we were shooting The Deathly Hallows， on her day off I would see her doing press for a fashion house or having meetings about her fashion line. And I would say to her， 'Emma， do you ever stop？ You've just got to stop.'\" recalled Yates.

In 2008 she enrolled at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art for a course on Shakespeare， and last year took an acting class at Brown. Having played the same character for ten years， Emma could not help falling prey to34） self-doubt. \"Hermione is so close to who I am as a person that I've never really had to research a role，\" she says. \"I'm literally rediscovering what it means to be an actress.\"

\"Now，\" says Heyman， \"I think she is at a crossroads and is trying to determine what direction to take. She can， if she chooses to， do many things.\" Which brings us back to the question confronting Emma as she enters full-fledged adulthood—\"What kind of artist am I？\"

Parched35） from an afternoon of nonstop conversation， she pauses to boil the kettle for a cup of tea. As she leans against the wooden counter in her kitchen holding the drink in her hands， her body language changes yet again， and Emma finally seems to relax. Her chin comes up in a defiant36） tilt. \"I've probably earned the right to screw up37） a few times，\" she says. \"I don't want the fear of failure to stop me from doing what I really care about.\"

她是《哈利·波特》中精靈古怪的小魔女赫敏，她的名字是時尚偶像的代名詞，她為了上大學(xué)奮力斗爭，她堅強地不斷吸取能量倔強前行，她被任命為聯(lián)合國婦女署親善大使時一度讓聯(lián)合國官網(wǎng)因瀏覽量激增而癱瘓，她是紅遍全球的英國女演員、布朗大學(xué)的高材生艾瑪·沃特森，她用自己的努力、勇敢和堅強實現(xiàn)了完美蛻變。

是那修剪如頑童的短發(fā)和完美無瑕的皮膚暴露了她。艾瑪·沃特森穿得并不引人注意——一條French Connection的棉料印花連衣裙和一雙米色涼鞋，但她從不會被認(rèn)錯。僅在剛才的半個小時里她就被粉絲搭訕了五次。今天是這位女演員的21歲（編注：本文寫于2011年）生日，她決意按自己喜歡的方式度過，而這意味著在上午10點左右悠閑地喝一杯拿鐵，然后在倫敦泰特現(xiàn)代美術(shù)館里漫步欣賞胡安·米羅的畫展。艾瑪只是忽略周圍人對她的注視，興致勃勃地和我聊著墻上的每一幅作品。當(dāng)一群喧鬧的青少年轉(zhuǎn)過身徑直朝她走過來時，她說：“該走了。”于是我們迅速走向最近的出口。外面，一位藏在樹上的攝影師手里的快門開始咔嚓咔嚓響個不停，直到她坐到車?yán)镩_車離開。

隨著我們開車在倫敦穿行，一個完全不同的艾瑪從這個兩個小時前和我見面喝咖啡的微笑女孩中顯露出來，這個艾瑪熱情而又脆弱。她描述說最近生活的一個轉(zhuǎn)折點是在讀帕蒂·史密斯2010年的回憶錄《只是孩子》的時候。在這本書中，帕蒂寫了關(guān)于發(fā)現(xiàn)自己內(nèi)心真正的呼喚蘊藏在“融入文字力量的三個和弦”之中。帕蒂樂意去擁抱創(chuàng)造性生活中的高潮和低谷，這觸動了艾瑪內(nèi)心的某個東西。她說：“我想要像帕蒂那樣活著，想要像帕蒂那樣寫作。這本書特別坦誠，特別勇敢，我喜歡她看待世界的方式。讀過這本書之后，我真的覺得生活更加美好了，我也更加滿懷希望?！?/p>

意識到這些出自好萊塢收入最高的女演員之一的話可能聽起來有些古怪或略顯自我，艾瑪沉默了一陣子，她的手不再動了，精靈般的容顏看上去有些憂傷?！拔乙恢睙o法主宰自己的生活，”她突然開口說，“我一直生活在一個徹頭徹尾的泡泡里。他們找到我，挑選我演了那個角色（編注：指赫敏）。而現(xiàn)在我正不顧一切地努力從中找到一條自己的路?！?/p>

她給了我一個探詢的目光，顯然在說：“我可以相信你嗎？”然后她深吸了一口氣，邀請我回她家，這樣我們就可以放心交談而不必?fù)?dān)心被打擾，而她也可以解釋之前說的“泡泡”是什么意思。

艾瑪愛看小說，尤其愛看那本描寫一個少年巫師和兩個最要好朋友的冒險故事，而這份喜愛驅(qū)使她參加制片人大衛(wèi)·海曼的試鏡，當(dāng)時她才九歲。前一刻她還與母親和弟弟亞歷克斯在風(fēng)景如畫的牛津大學(xué)城里過著平凡的生活；下一刻她就置身倫敦附近一個被改建的廠房的大門內(nèi)，與外界隔絕，進入了一個虛幻的世界——那個世界跟帕蒂·史密斯對怡景酒店的描述一樣，“就像是電影《陰陽魔界》中的玩偶屋”。

隨著《哈利·波特》在商業(yè)上大獲成功，制片方提出了方方面面的約束，讓艾瑪和在她五歲時就離異的父母措手不及。拍赫敏的戲份不再僅僅是一件利用正常生活中的零散間歇就能完成的事，接連不斷的電影拍攝和宣傳變成了日常生活。從染頭發(fā)到在購物中心里搜尋男生，所有這些青春期慣常做的事都不得不被犧牲在了工作的祭壇上。

經(jīng)過一段時間之后，《哈利·波特》片場的劇組人員成了艾瑪?shù)拇砑彝ァ＿@不僅僅包括跟她的搭檔丹尼爾·雷德克里夫和魯伯特·格林特保持好關(guān)系，海曼對連續(xù)性的強調(diào)也確保了年復(fù)一年同一個司機接送艾瑪往來利維斯頓拍攝基地，同一個餐廳服務(wù)員為她送餐，同一組美發(fā)師為她梳理那一頭著名的棕色卷發(fā)。艾瑪慢慢地和總化妝師阿曼達·奈特變得親密起來，經(jīng)常會在化妝車上玩化妝品打發(fā)時間?！澳抢锞褪俏业挠螛穲?，我會坐在那里玩各種口紅和眼影。有時阿曼達還會讓我給參演魁地奇比賽的臨時演員化妝?！?/p>

然而到2007年艾瑪已經(jīng)17歲了，這個“玩偶屋”開始變得不再像是一個與現(xiàn)實生活交替的空間，而更像是一所普通的牢房?！八娴恼娴暮苈斆?，”海曼說，“不論是時尚、文化還是文學(xué)，她對任何事情都充滿好奇而且興趣濃厚。她比丹和魯伯特更喜歡問問題，有些事情她需要為自己找到答案。”

在艾瑪帶我參觀她的房子時，她才華所具有的非凡的深度和廣度也變得十分明顯。每一個房間都被一件漂亮的手工藝品所圍繞，并且從她的這些手工藝品可以看出不論是油畫還是素描她都可以畫得很精美。其中一幅作品很引人注目：那是一幅艾瑪舉著相機的自畫像。畫中的相機鏡頭像槍管一樣咄咄逼人地對著觀賞者，是我們剛才在泰特現(xiàn)代美術(shù)館門前的經(jīng)歷的完美寫照。

她的話中帶著奮斗的隱喻?！霸谶^去的十年，我感覺自己一直在戰(zhàn)斗，一直在奮力斗爭以贏得受教育的機會。就是這樣一直不斷地向上奮戰(zhàn)，”她邊說邊握緊了拳頭，“使我成了華納兄弟的煩惱。我是他們?nèi)粘贪才诺臎_突所在。我是那個讓生活變得艱難的人?！弊罱K，艾瑪勇敢地邁出了這一步，她宣布自己將不再為最后的兩部電影續(xù)約，除非片方做出一些改變，對她想去上大學(xué)讀書予以方便。華納兄弟同意在力所能及的范圍內(nèi)做所能做的一切。她說：“我那時只是一度意識到自己不能和所有的事情抗?fàn)?。我得和它朝一個方向走，與它相伴而行?！?/p>

但作為一個完美主義者，艾瑪不會只是 “相伴而行”。一旦她同意全力以赴再拍上四年，“我就下決心要把它做好?！彼淖兓谏畹母鱾€方面都變得明顯起來。評論家們注意到她在表演中融入了一股新的能量?！豆げㄌ亍废盗须娪白詈笏牟康膶?dǎo)演大衛(wèi)·葉慈說：“隨著赫敏的角色變得越發(fā)有趣，艾瑪也開始越來越投入。她有著不可思議的直覺，是天生的演員。她能深入鉆研去尋找一種情緒，并且在鏡頭前表現(xiàn)出來。”《死亡圣器》上下兩部是整個《哈利·波特》系列電影中最為黑暗的兩部，對恐怖本性嚴(yán)肅的深思取代了前幾部戲里的天真無邪。這終結(jié)篇中更為復(fù)雜的劇情讓艾瑪可以盡情發(fā)揮。但是，葉慈強調(diào)：“目前她還沒有一個角色可以讓她真正展現(xiàn)自己的光芒。她有著極為嚴(yán)肅認(rèn)真又充滿趣味的表演天賦，足以讓所有人大吃一驚?！?/p>

盡管這么忙，艾瑪不知怎地在2009年設(shè)法找出時間到布朗大學(xué)注了冊?！拔蚁牒驼Ｈ艘粯樱彼诋?dāng)時曾說，“我真的想隱姓埋名?！迸c一些媒體報道的不同，她說當(dāng)年的確切事實是這樣的：她住的是只在走廊盡頭有公共浴室的新生公寓；她在課堂上回答問題的時候也沒有人找麻煩或是大喊“格蘭芬多，3分”；艾瑪能夠很好地融入其中，她穿著人字拖去聽課，也會像別人一樣在凌晨4點才完成論文?？墒撬蛣e人又不一樣，因為別人不必請兩周假到處去拍戲或是在參加完宴會后疲憊地倒著時差趕回來好參加期末考試。和當(dāng)時在美國羅德島設(shè)計學(xué)院求學(xué)的演員詹姆斯·弗蘭科短暫的相見對她幫助不小。“和一個也像自己一樣努力做著同樣事情的人聊一聊在那個時候是那么讓人寬慰。我和他聊了盡力在學(xué)習(xí)和拍片中尋求平衡，進進退退。他并不會因害怕別人對他指指點點而畏懼或受限。”

艾瑪勇敢地奮斗著讓一切融入她的生活。“對于她這個年齡的人來說，她對于自己做的事情真是毫不松懈。甚至在我們拍攝《死亡圣器》的時候，我也會看到她在休息日為某個時裝公司做采訪，或是在開會討論她的時裝系列。我會對她說：‘艾瑪，你停下來過嗎？你要停下來休息。’”葉慈回憶道。

2008年，她報了皇家戲劇學(xué)院學(xué)習(xí)一門研究莎士比亞的課程，去年又選修了布朗大學(xué)的表演課。由于十年來都在演同一個角色，艾瑪禁不住被自我懷疑所困擾。“赫敏在性格上和我太像了，以至于我之前從不需要去真正研究一個角色，”她說，“我現(xiàn)在確實在重新發(fā)現(xiàn)作為一個女演員意味著什么。”

海曼說：“現(xiàn)在，我認(rèn)為她正處在一個十字路口，她在努力決定往哪邊走。如果做出選擇，她有能力做很多事情?！边@讓我們想起了艾瑪真正長大成人后所遭遇的問題——“我是一個什么樣的藝術(shù)家？”

我們不間斷地聊了一個下午，口渴的她停下來去燒水泡茶。她倚著廚房的木頭臺面拿起茶杯時，她的肢體語言再次變了，艾瑪終于看起來放松了。她的下巴以發(fā)起挑戰(zhàn)的斜度揚起?！盎蛟S我已經(jīng)贏得了把事情弄糟幾次的權(quán)利，”她說，“我不想讓對失敗的恐懼阻止我做自己真正在意的事情?！?/p>

1.pixie [?p?ksi] n. （20世紀(jì)50年代流行的）頑童式女子短發(fā)型

2.unobtrusively [??n?b?tru?s?vli] adv. 不引人注意地

3.beige [be??] adj. 米色的

4.accost [??k?st] vt. （尤指唐突地）走上前去與……講話（或攀談），跟……搭訕

5.animatedly [??n?me?t?dli] adv. 生氣勃勃地；熱烈地

6.raucous [?r??k?s] adj. 喧鬧的

7.Patti Smith： 帕蒂·史密斯（1946～），美國著名作家、音樂家及視覺藝術(shù)家，最偉大的搖滾歌手之一，于2007年入選搖滾名人堂。

8.elfin [?elf?n] adj. （指人的容貌）五官小巧的；似小精靈的

9.crumple [?kr?mpl] vi. （人的臉）突顯委頓或悲傷

10.blurt out： 脫口說出；突然說出

11.quizzical [?kw?z?kl] adj. 探詢的；疑問的

12.convert [k?n?v??t] vt. 改建；改變（建筑、車輛、船等）以作他用

13.commitment [k??m?tm?nt] n. 承諾

14.franchise [?fr?nt?a?z] n. 特許經(jīng)銷權(quán)；管轄權(quán)

15.hiatus [ha??e?t?s] n. 間隙；空隙

16.trawl [tr??l] vt. 在……搜羅

17.surrogate [?s?r?ɡ?t] adj. 代替的

18.Daniel Radcliffe： 丹尼爾·雷德克里夫（1989～），英國男演員，因飾演《哈利·波特》系列電影中的哈利·波特一角而成名。下文的Dan是其昵稱。

19.Rupert Grint： 魯伯特·格林特（1988～），英國男演員，因飾演《哈利·波特》系列電影中的羅恩一角而成名。

20.while away： 消磨，打發(fā)（時間）

21.extra [?ekstr?] n. 臨時演員

22.lens [lenz] n. 鏡頭

23.barrel [?b?r?l] n. 槍管

24.pain in the butt： 令人厭煩或惱火的人或事

25.intuitive [?n?tju??t?v] adj. 有直覺力的

26.grim [ɡr?m] adj. 嚴(yán)肅的

27.finale [f??nɑ?li] n. （演出的）終場

28.anonymity [??n??n?m?ti] n. 匿名；隱瞞身份

29.hassle [?h?sl] vt. 煩擾

30.junket [?d???k?t] n. 宴會

31.jet-lagged： 有時差反應(yīng)的

32.James Franco： 詹姆斯·弗蘭科（1978～），美國演員、藝術(shù)家，曾出演《蜘蛛俠2》《蜘蛛俠3》。

33.juggle [?d??ɡl] vt. 盡量兼顧；盡力對付；力圖使平衡

34.fall prey to： （人）成為……的犧牲品；為……所折磨；深受……之害

35.parched [pɑ?t?t] adj. 口渴的

36.defiant [d??fa??nt] adj. 挑戰(zhàn)的

37.screw up： 弄糟