MISHMASH

A CUP OF ZHOU

The Laba Festival (臘八節(jié)), which falls on the eighth day of the 12th month of the Lunar Year, traditionally symbolizes the beginning of festivities for Chinese New Year. And, like all good festivals, it comes with a tasty snack to celebrate:labazhou(臘八粥), a porridge made from any number of ingredients including rice, glutinous rice, millet, peanuts, chestnuts, Chinese dates, lotus seeds, and red-beans. Originally, the occasion was for people to give sacrifices to their ancestors and to pray to heaven and earth for luck and a good harvest for the coming year. The dish itself is fabled to have first been an Indian dish. The story goes that during a lengthy fast, the Buddha fell faint when travelling around India. He was awoken by a shepherdess who nurtured him to health by giving him the nutritious porridge. The Buddha was then able to continue his spiritual journey, eventually achieving enlightenment on the 8th day of the 12th lunar month. As Buddhism spread more widely throughout China, so did the eating oflabazhou; in the Qing Dynasty (1616-1911), on the auspicious day in question, the emperor would grant large portions of it to his men. It is cooked over a long period and tastes slightly different wherever you might try it but is usually slightly sweet. - CARLOS OTTERY

NOT ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

City authorities in Beijing found a man accommodation after he was found to have been living at the bottom of a manhole for 20 years. It is thought the man decided on the manhole so he could save extra money to put his children through school. The 53-year-old man, surnamed Wang, who had been living at the bottom of a utility well in Beijing's Chaoyang District, has three school-aged children who live in Huairou, 40 kilometers outside the city center. “It costs a lot to put three kids through school. My wife takes care of the kids at home while I look for odd jobs. It costs at least 300 RMB to find a room, so I have used the well for 20 years,” he said. The space at the bottom of the damp well, which Wang sealed with cardboard, measures about four square meters. Utility workers say the wells are very dangerous. “There is a lot of equipment down there, and it is very cold,” said an employee for the Beijing Heating Power group. - C.O.

GONE TO THE DOGS

A street dog on the loose has finally been caught after many years of evading capture in Zhengzhou, Henan Province, December 5. Over the past four years, the troublesome bitch bit many people and gave birth to several litters. The animal, aware that it was going to the dogs, would continually flee from captors, particularly if they were wearing a uniform. Eventually city management officers took a new approach and sent out a plain clothes dog-catching team of about 100 (yes, 100) officers,chengguan, and workers from animal protection to catch the beast. Ultimately, one hundred people were too much for the wily canine, and he was eventually captured in a net and taken to a nearby animal shelter. - C.O.

臘八節(jié)

A SMOG DEFENSE

Pollution is a bit of a downer for, well, pretty much everyone, but an in-depth article, byGlobal Timesspecial reporter Zhang Jie, on December 9, pointed out that Chinese smog might have one big upside: bolstering military defense capabilities. In his report he points out that America has special “Eagle Scan” reconnaissance technology that can spot the smoke on a cup of coffee from up to a kilometer away. However in the presence of the extreme smog that China has, such reconnaissance “l(fā)oses its meaning”. He goes on to explain how NATO faced difficulties in the Kosovo conflict as Yugoslavian insurgents were burning car tires to create smog, which one presumes would be an unnecessary task for Beijing. Chinese netizens were not much impressed by Zhang's attempt at positive spin. As one reader responding to the article put it:“But enemies wouldn't need to resort to missile attacks; if the smog continues to increasepeople will simply be poisoned to death.”- C.O.

CLOWNING AROUND IS TIRING

Nie Yongbing, 63, of Chengdu, Sichuan Province has been impressing people with his ability to inflate the inner tubes of car tires at speed. But Nie is a bit different from your average tire inflator as he inflates his tires manually: through his nose. Attaching a hose to his nose, he inflated four tires in less than 20 minutes on December 6. Nie, who taught himself the stunt, can perform other tricks, such as balancing on sharp blades whilst barefoot and lifting buckets of water with his eyelids. He has been practicing the Jackass-style stunts for eight years and eventually hopes to appear on a talent show and become famous. Other clowns have been less than impressed; someone from the Sichuan Society of Acrobats downplayed Nie's super-lung capacity and other abilities, saying that such trickery is based on simple principles rather than any real skill. - C.O.

LAPTOP LOVE

They say love is blind and that certainly proved to be the case for one 20-year-old laptop thief. In September, a young man, surnamed Yang, allegedly clambered through an open window to an apartment in Beijing's Chaoyang District, where he stole a laptop worth 2,300 RMB. However, on getting home and opening the laptop, Yang found himself completely smitten by images of the owner on the computer. Eros had struck, and Yang found himself utterly obsessed with the woman, speedily rifling through her files to find her online chat identity. On finally making contact, he promised to return the laptop if the girl would arrange to go on a date with him. Yang must have been disappointed when he turned up at the date only to be met by police officers who promptly arrested him for theft. - C.O.